Look I am comfortable with who I am, yet it seems that when I go out, yes I get a little more shy but nothing crazy. However I feel like I never get respect, people often don't remember my name, I mean I am a nice guy (maybe too nice) and it has worked with girls sometimes but obviously not as much as i want, do i have to become some loud asshole who amogs all other guys to have more fun when i go out or to make friends? I dont understand why you cant be a nice guy who isnt a creeper and still get chicks, idk where to start

its not being to nice or is not being the asshole its all in your confidence. I am a nice guy myself but its the way i carry myself. Just be more outgoing and be the "fun" guy. Be nice enough to be enjoyed but not nice enough to be step on.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

He's right, it's all about your confidence and attitude. All the canned lines and tactics in the world won't matter if you don't have the intial confidence.

well how do u come off as having that confidence? I mean sometimes when my day is goin real good or if im flirting with a girl i can tell my confidence is up, but how do i keep it at that level

I've actually got a free ebook in mind that might be able to help you out a little. It's more about being confident and learning to accept rejection and keep going than the pick up tactics. PM me if you're intrested. I don't believe I'm allowed to post the link here.

The idea isn't to "come off" as having that confidence, it's to truly develop that confidence. It isn't simple; this isn't something that will only take you a couple days, weeks or even a month or two. Hell, I've been working on this extensively for over a year and I still have a lot of things that I'd like to improve in just the confidence aread alone.

Start working on loving yourself. Learn to truly appreciate and love yourself for who you are and you will be more confident. In order to do that, you're gonna have to do a lot of introspection aka deep thinking and soul searching to find out who you truly are. You need to find out and understand your values and beliefs and many other things about yourself that you probably don't even think about right now.

I'd suggest starting with Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins for a book (make sure you have a highlighter handy whenever you are reading this, seriously it will dramatically affect what you get out of it) and before you do anything else, I want you to go download and watch the 6 FREE videos here: http://www.worthyplayboys.com/philosoph ... oning.html . Johnny Soporno is one of the nicest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and he is also reputed to be one of (if not THE) best men with women on the planet.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Bonita actually put up a great post on this check it out, it should answer all of your questions.

Heres the link:
myths-about-women-vt31632.html?highlight=

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"HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF GETS RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN"

I don't think you know what your problem is. It will never hurt you to learn some cocky funny routines, but don't try to be a jerk because you think you are "too nice". I gathered from your post that you have a lack of confidence, you should know this: if you are going to change yourself, do it to please yourself, not others.

There is nothing wrong with being nice if that is your nature. If you are worried about this quote: "nice guys don't get laid" or "girls don't like nice guys" then you are taking it out of context. Girls don't like guys who are being nice to cover up their true desire (get in her pants) and they can sense it if he isn't acting out well enough. But if you are a nice guy deep inside then there is nothing wrong with you my friend, some women will find your natural polightness attractive. Being nice in the soul means enjoying the world and not taking things seriously.

Right on bro!

Most women arent attracked to the Jackasses. There attracted to strong men. You can be a nice guy and still be strong. Don't get confused with strong men and weak men with Jackasses and nice guys.

so where do i start on my transformation? idk where to begin

i found this on wikipedia once, on the matter, that's succinct

"Women prefer polite over rude, and attentive over distracted. The problem is the way nice guys present these positive characteristics. In order to appear friendly and romantic, these 'nice guys' think they have to turn off their sexuality. They hide their desires in order not to offend, presenting an androgynous, asexual persona. The first impression they give is one of emasculation, weakness, and lack of desire. At best, they confuse the woman as to whether they even find her attractive. That's what jerks offer women that nice guys don't: they're not afraid to be sexual."

like it was awnsered in another topic of this... you don't need to be a jerk and you shouldnt be a nice, there's something in between

Hey, I'm a nice guy, but I won't take shit from anyone.

That's the difference that most "nice guys" don't get.

you can be nice while at the same time be confident. some of the nicest guys i know still assert themselves when they need to. dont change, just try to add more presence to your persona.
And that confidence issue. ingrain it in your head that the women you see WANT you, all you have to do is come up to them and show them why. I think you might really benefit by picking up some literature by a real learned guru. a lot of what they teach deals with mentalities and gaming attitudes.

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"He is god, he will understand. And if he does not, then he is not god, and we need not worry."
http://pickuplabs.com/blog/ Pick-Up Labs, lots of cool shit guys, free!

I just wanted to add one small yet significant point:

Yeah, all that stuff everyone is saying about developing real confidence is true, but you can never escape the fact that you need to be LOUD to become successful with women & dating. You don't need to be a loud ASSHOLE, and you don't even need to AMOG anyone, but you still need to be loud and be heard.