First Approach is it now or never?



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:48 am 
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I got a problem.
Unlike my friends who are not easily detected in clubs and are able to approach many girls, I on the other hand have a strong presence when I enter the club and usually will find a girl that is cautiously interested in me within the first few minutes. After being in the club for a few minutes virtually every1 will have noticed me.

But the problem I have is that I know from experience that when I make my first approach most ppl on the dancefloor will observe, and if I am unsuccessful the surounding girls will take notice and not be interested in me anymore.

Going to larger more crowded clubs has helped with this before, but i live in a small city and rarely have that luxury.

Is there anything I can do to avoid this? I dont like my first set being so crucial when my mates can make endless approaches to unsuspecting girls.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:59 am 
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Why are you so easily detected? Are you a celebrity or something? Find a way to not stand out AS much if that is your problem. Normally in a club the whole world doesn't revolve around one person so you shouldbe alright.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:26 am 
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Im detected because im 6 foot 4 with broad brame and big fan of peacocking because I find it helps.

Anyway, if theres nothing that can be done about it then thats that...


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:35 am 
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Hey man I feel ya on people noticing. I don't peacock like you say you do but I'm noticed as being a big guy. One thing that has helped me, however, is just a change of my attitude.
I used to care if people noticed and I would think I had to choose wisely just like you said. You just carry the attitude of "whatever you're just another person to talk to." Girls pick up your sense of cautiousness and they will pick up on your attitude. Let them pick up on the good attitude and not the cautious one. It's helped me, hope it helps ya

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:08 am 
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i have to ask... why do you rely solely on approaching on the dancefloor?
make your approach somewhere else and lead them to the dancefloor, that way you have the social proof on the dancefloor to open other sets with ease...

apart from that, the fact that you're tall is already peacocking in a sense, so be careful as to how you go about peacocking. people already notice you due to your height, so you dont need to wear something that screams "NOTICE ME!!". instead i'd just go for a cool little chain or ring or something. something small that she will notice only when she's talking to you.

this should make you stand out a bit less.

then of course, as Gander said, attitude plays a big role.
be the easy going, laid back, highly sociable guy and no one will care whether you get blown out or not because you'll always be smiling and having a good time and they'll see that. in fact, if you enter a set and get blown out but you walk away with a smile and good body language, virtually everyone will think that you just went to say hello or something... getting blown out wouldn't even have crossed their minds.

as has been said by many people, a lot of the game is played in your head. you're busy making this all seem like a much bigger problem than it actually is.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:39 am 
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Cheers that is actually really helpful, especially the off the dancefloor and attitude stuff!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 1:31 pm 
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Mr. Nemo

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Quote:
apart from that, the fact that you're tall is already peacocking in a sense, so be careful as to how you go about peacocking. people already notice you due to your height, so you dont need to wear something that screams "NOTICE ME!!". instead i'd just go for a cool little chain or ring or something. something small that she will notice only when she's talking to you.
Very true. People are going to notice height pretty quickly, especially if your taller than 6'3". It is also bad when your tall to wear things to draw more attention to your self, because people will think your an attention whore or something and it is never good to have a bad rep for something that you don't need to do.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:10 pm 
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Quote:
apart from that, the fact that you're tall is already peacocking in a sense, so be careful as to how you go about peacocking. people already notice you due to your height, so you dont need to wear something that screams "NOTICE ME!!". instead i'd just go for a cool little chain or ring or something. something small that she will notice only when she's talking to you.
Said everything I would have said. I am 6'4 as well. Women like tall guys, but if you are wearing an even bigger hat to make you 6'9 then it's just pushing it. You don't want to stick out toooo much, but just enough that you are different.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:51 pm 
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IF your first approach of the night sets the tone for your whole night there is a way to 'Fake' Social proof.

Get some girlfriends, a mixed set will work too, and tell go out with you. Have them go there earlier and get a table. Show up 30 min or so later and walk into the venue, apprach the 'set' of friends and open them. You are gaurenteed not to get blown out because they are your friends. If what you say is correct, people at the club will get the impression that you are a fun and outgoing guy. Your social value will increase, and so will your confidence.

Though this 'faking' of social value can be tedious and a pain in the ass to implement.

Another suggestion is just having to platonic hot girls walk with you in the club. be in the middle of them, and have them clutching your arms. When u walk through the doors, your social value will spike dramatically.

But generally speaking, girls are attracted to height. So use it as an advantage.

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