Flicking through this forum last night, I happened upon this quote by DeAngelo:

“If you act like she is too important, she’ll treat you like your not important”

Straight away I knew I blew it. I met this chick who was really into me a few weeks ago, and we'd spent several consecutive weekends together. As we became more intense and affectionate, I found myself falling for her. Everytime I saw her face I lost all discipline. I broke all the rules. I told her I cared about her. I let her think that she was too important to me. And suddenly, she's going cool. Liking me less and less, nowhere near as passionate and intense as she first was. And now, as De Angelo says, she's treating me like I'm not important. She is not intitiating any texts or phone calls. She wants us to try being friends and 'getting to know each other', the 'seeing what happens'. And I'm now in a position where I can't initiate any calls/texts/meetings otherwise I'll lose all power. I blew it. As soon as I started caring about the girl, I lost her. She has been drifting away from me ever since

And the question is, to all you PUAs out there: How do I turn it around? What the hell do I do to get her back? Have I blown it, is it too late?? I met another hot girl tonight and we spent the evening together, making out, but I the whole time I was depressed, thinking about this chick. Checking my phone every five minutes. What do I do? Phone her? Forget her? What??? Help!

First thing you do is stop, relax, and start putting things in perspective.

You've known the girl for a month max it sounds like, you are right you cannot initiate contact for stuff or it will seem like you still need her. It might be too late, but all you can do is wait in my opinion.

If after a month or so goes by and you guys don't talk and you still feel like you need her in your life than you go with my favorite method...the all or nothing method. Obviously you don't want to be her friend, you want a relationship with her.

What I would do is in a month or so give her a call and pretend like nothing ever happened. You are just friends etc and maybe say something like "I need to get new shoes, or I want to go shopping and update my wardrobe, but I need a females opinion want to meet at the mall and help me out."

Very non threatening sounds very friendish, and your also saying you need a female opinion which to me means your buying these clothes for other women to see you in. While out with her you can flirt with retail girls etc and just be fun. She will see how much fun it is to be with you. When all is said and done with that just thank her for coming out.

Don't ask, don't even hint that you still might like her. Leave it in her court. If you come off as needy again its all over. But this gives you one last chance to show her how awesome you are. Don't call her again after this meeting. Everything is in her court. Just hope she calls you or texts you and says she had fun. And if she does you can say yeh it was. But don't say you should do it again sometime, once again it would sound needy. Just say yeah it was fun thanks for the help. She will hopefully see that youve moved on to other girls, and women always want what they cannot have.


I have been in a similar situation with a girl for over and year, and while I don't have One-itis stuff still goes on that reminds me of her, but I know I cannot initiate anything it has to be her doing even after we have both had boyfriends and girlfriends in between. Good luck.

If you're social, easy solution.

Invite her to an event with you and friends. Tell her to bring some friends. Make it an interesting event. (A quick check of some local clubs will find live music nights.)

Make sure you bring a date. Play cool with the date, try to pull the IOIs from her. Don't be too into your date. Jealousy kicks in...

Palet's advising you be sneaky and lie pretending you just want friendship from the girl and leaving the ball in her court. If You take his advice you'll end up playing yourself. When she doesnt respond the way you want her to after you've wasted your time thinking and doing stuff with her in that friend manner hoping she'll make the first move. You're going to become so angry and pissed off at this girl you'll go berserk probably cuss her out, become overly jealous if you see her with another guy or hear of her banging other guys. You'll blame her for your frustration but it'll ultimately be your own fault for lying to begin with.

What i said should make plenty of sense to you if not oh well I'll live...

The girl already told you she wants to be friends if you're not fine with just being her friend leave this girl ASAP find another

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Dude, I feel your pain. Oneitis is a hard road I've dealt with recently myself. Unfortunately, you have to take the next off-ramp ASAP, or you'll destroy yourself over a girl you really hardly even know. I want you to read this, it will help you put things back in perspective:

http://www.whatithinkabout.com/minimize ... om-dating/

Then take the advice of the veterans on this board and read the books and work on your inner game. Once you restore your own self-worth, get back in the field and apply those tactics. You already got with a new HB--I'd call that a hell of a start--but you need to focus on enjoying that rather than pointlessly pining for the other. Otherwise you're doing a complete disservice to not only yourself, but the new HB as well.

Good luck.

-Klats

We've all been in your situation.

What David D said is right, but imo he needs to explain it a little more.

Self-assured women want to see a man with a purpose in life. If she sees you care about her more than she does about you, then she will think of you as more feminine than her. A superior (Alpha) man must always care less about the relationship than the woman (or atleast show so). If you don't have or don't know what your goal in life is yet, then fake it and make that goal seem more important than her (not by insulting her, but by putting it ahead of everything, even the relationship). When she asks you out, tell her you are busy, but suggest a different date when you will be free.

All you can do now is forget about her, suck it up and move on, be a man. I've been there, and I can feel your pain. Just remember that the sooner you let go, the easier it will be on you. Go do something you love, and concentrate on your goals in life.

Stop treating her like she's the most special person on the planet, but don't stop showing your attraction for her. If you accept that you can be just friends, then that's all you'll be. Just stop treating her like she's incredibly important to you or you won't get her respect back.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye