Hey Folks,

i know i got some serious oneitis SPAM and im tryin to cure myself.
I went on dates with girls, but they annoy me so hard and are nothing to her (idolizing i know, but she had the right interessts, was really sexuall, etc)
the other girls are boring, lazy, etc

so what am i doing wrong? i know i shouldnt idolize her, but thats why i wanna lay a few girls to get over her.
But i dont even want to lay most of the girls i close because they are as interesting as my kitchentable...

Hang out with people that have a similar philosophy as you. Your either: Obsessing because she has a strong personal philosophy and you have a weak one. This means that she has a strongly grounded personality. Alternatively, Your personal philosophies match very closely at which point there is a block in the way.

For the former case you need better internal game. As you develop yourself you'll attract higher quality / higher status women. Then she will fade.
For the later you just have to have better outer game, with the caveat that you shouldn't do anything you'll regret. Things that have always been deal breakers for me are boyfriends / marriage for instance. If she is with someone already I say, I would rather she be happy in that relationship then cheat with me. If she is unhappy then she should have the self-respect to end it. If there is no block then it's all you, It's possible that you haven't demonstrated your value to her.

Now, it's also worth noting the problems of having one-itis while chasing this girl. I have a feeling that it's the external game situation. So the cure for internally caused one-itis is self-improvement, the cure for externally caused one-itis is to learn to let her go.

An exercise that you can do is think of three girls, one of which is your one-itis and the other two being your two best 'boring' girls. Write down all of the qualities that they share. Write down the positive qualities that are different for each one. You'll see that each of the boring girls have similar qualities plus their own unique traits. Perhaps one of them even has more positive traits in total than your one-itis girl. If not you need to date more and then keep doing the exercise. Don't compare negative traits as that goes against the protocol of the exercise.

We ve been dating and fucking around, wasnt called a relationship

she has a new one and i try to get over her - she wanted friendship, i denied

i wrote everything here
general-questions/destroyer-vt199816.html

Three month ago, i got picked up by a HB8. She just wanted an ONS, because she just finished a LTR. She wasnt over her EX, so she Shittested me alot by talking about him.

We had so much fun together, our sex was great. We had the same interessts. So we decided to meet more.
She came over the next two days. Than she told me she rly enjoys hanging out with me.

It wasnt called a relationship, but we lived like we used to have a LTR. I met her colleagues, best friends and parents. She refused to meet my parents. She was rly insecure.

We had two months of alot of fun and even more Shittests, but i passed them.

After two months, i must have failed. She started nagging alot, i said lets take a break. She said yes, but came over the same evening. The next day, the same. On the third day, she said ok she needs a break.

Three days later, she called me and said i didnt call. i told her she said she needed time. Now she wants to see me. I came over, everything fine.
This behavior happend a few times.

Till one time, she said its over, and i had enough. The reason was her EX, she couldnt manage to forget him.
But i wanted to keep a friendship, to get her back. Used to meet her, cheer her up and stuff.
Three weeks ago, she told me finally shes seeing a new guy, she loves him (for the record, she told me she loves me after two weeks too).

I met her randomly again, she told me how great everything is, but she didnt look like that, her bodylanguage also said something different, because she was rly flirting (sit close to me, legs crossed with feet facing me while standing, touching hair, etc).

I think I am understanding the problem a little more.

Your letting your emotions get the better of you, but you knew that. It's hard sometimes. This is why thinking on paper like in a journal is so important. One of the take-aways that I hope you get from my post above is to think about the positive aspects of these girls. Once you've eliminated obvious deal breakers like drugs, violence or other extreme 'Nopes' like that then you should focus on the positive traits because your seeking a positive outcome, not trying to avoid a negative one.

Example: Positive outcome is I want to date high quality women. Negative outcome is I want to get over my one-itis.

If you insist on thinking about negative traits you need to start thinking about your ex's negative traits too. This is difficult, because if she had a glaring fault you wouldn't be with her. Also, we tend to sugar coat our one-itis, this is great for keeping the relationship going, but when it's over it's time to start brainstorming negative traits about the ex and keeping in mind positive traits of the new girls.

Its not that deep OP.

Trying to over complicate it and make it a bigger issue than what it is will only extend the amount of times its going to take to be better than the guy you currently are being. Long story short you're not in love, you're just having an ego malfunction because you didn't have the control you wanted over the situation.

Time heals all wounds. For a little while you won't find the girls in front of you interesting because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you're holding on to another. However, overtime, over enough dates, over you actually getting out with women who are truly more attractive than this girl was you'll be fine. 2-5 dates isn't enough come back when you've went on 12 dates with women you find legitimately attractive and see if this is still something thats bugging you. It probably won't be.

Don't rush the process. Let it run its course. You'll be fine in due time.

_________________
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The problem isn't her obviously, it's you. That's why your only option here, if you are in love with a girl who isn’t in love with you, is to stop talking to her for a period of time. Take a few weeks with absolutely no contact.

Save yourself some grief and self worth and take Eddie's advice. Hanging around watching her get railed by other dudes is not the way to build self-esteem.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

That foxtrot dude is about to send the op on a Fuckin vision quest. You wanna get over a girl? Do stuff. Volunteer, put together a booklist or reading list and start consuming that media, go on a treadmill or shit start a poker game with friends. Just go do things.

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These hos ain't loyal

Im aware the problem is me .

I dont talk to her anymore, just wished her a happy birthday but thats it.

saw her passing by a few days ago, she didnt see me, didnt run after her either.

im doing things to keep me busy, but i keep thinking about her. i heared i should fuck 10 girls to forget her. at nearly every other activity, i still got her on my mind... and it annoys me

but i know what u guys mean, thank you

Bad move

_________________
Debonair at all costs

Weak.

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Can you explain this more please?

Im going to tell how it ended...

She said she is not sure, she still wants her ex but dont wants him right now, she doesnt know.

we said we stay friends and see what happens. we did somethings like dates, but didnt kiss or anything.

one month later she told me she has a new one and i once said im gone when she has a new one.
she wants to keep me as a friend because im the coolest guy she ever met, etc etc

but she doesnt love me, she loves him

i talked alot to her, made her think about it, she wanted to consider it a few days - 30 mintues after she left (where she kissed me), she told me its him not me. i told her to think about it, she said she doesnt need to.

next day we exchanged our stuff. than i met her randomly a week later, was a strange talk since she pretended to be so happy and everything is perfect, but her body language was flirty towards me and she didnt look so amazed when she told me how perfect her new BF is (dunno why she did this? makin me envy?)

after that i just wrote her to wish her a happy birthday.

saw her passing by two times now, dont know if she didnt see me or didnt want to greet, i kinda checked it very late and didnt want to run after her because that seemed weak to me.

Ffs take a new path to work or school or whatever that you keep passing her and making a mental note.

_________________
These hos ain't loyal

Weak.
Weak.

Weak.
Weak.

Weak.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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I'm going to say this again. Next time she messages reply with ERROR CODE 404 THE PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH HAS MOVED ON.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

i agree completly, it was weak and i have lost her forever. now i gotta forget her, so how do i do it?^^

and she didnt write, i highly doubt she will