I Actually Like This Girl....



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 3:56 am 
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Im currently in a situation that I should be happy about, but for some reason I feel like its going to crash and burn....This is a girl that started at work kinda new, started to talk to her and got her number. Now she likes me and I like her, I know this because I have ears in the kitchen were she works. But the problem is she gets shy/nervous around me, and because I actually like this girl i get nervous around her and I feel like I dont want to say something stupid .... I know the routine, I know the game, but I dont feel as if I understand it when it comes to this chick. I know why she likes me, and thats because at work I am the super star, everyone knows me and talks to me and shit, and i am normally cool outside of work as well. BUt i just started talking to this chick on the phone and got all nervous and it was really bad talk....Ahh man... I dont want to mess this up any advice would be much appreciated


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:30 am 
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That's great man, good to hear! The VERY FIRST thing you need to do, is take a nice deep, calming breath and realise that this, is a GOOD thing. Seriously. Those feelings are good, they mean that you actually feel something there and you aren't an emotionless robot that is merely picking her up purely because that's what you believe you are supposed to do to impress other people and in order to be happy. You actually want to get to know this girl and share experiences with her, because that WILL make you happy.

Many guys in the community will tell you that those feelings are bad and that it means you have one-itis and that you should get over it. Fuck them. They don't know what relationship are really about and they've forgotten what brought them here in the first place, which is exactly what you're experiencing right now.

Now that you've got all that, realise that you DO know your shit, you ARE a cool guy and reflect on all the stuff that makes you someone that any girl would not only want to be with, but would be LUCKY to be with you. You're a catch and she knows it, because you know she likes you! Be confident in yourself because of this, just don't be cocky.

Now be all those things that make you who you are and roll with it, just let it flow and be yourself. Don't worry about saying the "perfect" thing and the "right" thing, just say what YOU would say if you were told to just act like you. Don't try to act like something better and something impressive, cause you don't need to, you ARE impressive, so just be who you are. Don't worry and focus on not messing things up, because it's just like driving a car, or walking down the street; whatever you focus on, that's right where you're gonna go, so if you are focusing on avoiding making mistakes, you're inevitably going to make mistakes, whereas if you don't think about them and just think about be as awesome as you are, then you'll just be awesome! Tightrope walkers NEVER think about not falling, because if they do...they fall, so instead they just concentrate on walking across the rope. Think about if you've ever walked on a balance beam and how much easier it was when you stopped thinking about not falling and just told yourself you could do it and walked.

Now when you're talking on the phone with someone that you don't know that well and you really like them, it's often a situation where you end up having a tense conversation, just like if you went to coffee with them and you were trying to get to know each other by asking each other questions; it gets awkward and isn't nearly as comfortable as you'd like. This is why PUAs typically say to take girls to things you were already going to do anyways, rather than setting up something just to see them, because then you're got something to take your mind off things and you're much more relaxed. Do the same thing on the phone, don't just sit in a chair in a quiet room doing nothing but talking to her, that's a lot of pressure you are aren't relaxed. Put on some light music in the background, something that won't distract you or make the conversation difficult to hear and concentrate on. Walk around the house. Do some simple tasks that you can do while talking on the phone, but that doesn't take too much concentration, so that you can still pay attention to the conversation. Play with a yo-yo or some other little activity to take just a fraction of your mind off the conversation and make you relax more and I promise it'll go much smoother.

Don't make the conversation last too long, just chat a bit and set up a Day 2 so that you can get together in person and not have the awkward phone talk as long. Make sure it's something that is again, relaxing for both of you. Remember, you may really like her and she may like you, but she's still just a person and nothing to be afraid of, so just hang out with her and treat her like you would any other girl, don't pamper her, or treat her completely different just because you like her, because then you lost the whole point of everything you've worked to learn.

Good luck bud!

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:49 am 
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I agree but one thing I would like to add is that you need to push things forward quickly. When you have an entire office talking about a possible future relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the girl. After a while, if you don't go for it soon enough, the pressure could get to her and she will not want to start anything. You need to strike while the iron is hot and make her feel comfortable about the whole thing. Starting an inter-office relationship is stressful enough without everyone's eyes looking over your shoulders. I lost a girl because of this once, so I know. Don't stretch out the comfort building, you don't have that option. Set up a date immediately.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 2:27 pm 
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We are going out tommorow. I'll post an update when it finishes...


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