ok so this isn't necessarily a LJBF situation but its close. This girl told me that she couldn't be with me cause I was leaving for uni in a few days. though she still flirts with me online. this results in some definite mixed signals and there's nothing I hate more. She says she's so excited to see me when I come home for thanksgiving. I don't wanna take the AFC route and as her "where we stand" or wutever. I could just try to kino escalate and hope to close.. but i'm wondering if maybe an ultimatum is the best option. like if she calls I'll ask her if we're hanging out as "just friends" and I'll tell her that I don't wanna be "that guy" and it's not fair to me to have to act as her friend. If she says that friendship is all she wants from me, I'll tell her that I need time to get over her and therefore not hang out..

is this a good plan or should I just try to escalate with her, possibly embarressing myself..

thanx in advance for any advice!!!

Ultimatums are never good and they very rarely work. If she's really that attracted to you, then don't listen to the words she's saying, listen to the messages she's sending with her body when you're with her. If she's acting like she wants you, then keep going, if you says that you shouldn't then you just tell her that you're not doing anything you both don't want to do. Just don't force her to do anything and if she really means it, then stop, but pay more attention to her actions than her words.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

thanx thats great advice! i'm a little relieved too because I was thinking that an ultimatum was a little harsh and not to mention DLV. And ur totally right with the whole don't listen to what they're saying, observe their body language. In this past month I've realized that alot of the time IOI's are subtle and it is very difficult to guess what they're really thinking half the time. but they could act completely pissed off at u and still want u...its nuts... with all their LMR and anti-slut defences aswell as playing hard to get, it's ridiculous. I guess its true what they say that women are just born playing this game...