Should I call or move on???



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:03 am 
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Long Story, but complex situation.

My roommate has an HB8 as a friend. He's been trying to F-close for the past couple weeks. She has turned down his advances. We recently spent the day together at the beach, he was there but had to leave early for work. I didn't make a move on her because my friend is interested. After my roommate left us alone at the beach we developed great Kino (which she initiated). She is 33 and I am 28 if that makes any difference. She invited me to dinner and to see her place. I accepted. Had great conversation at dinner then we go to her place. She invites me to check out her bed that she's been raving about because we have cheap hard mattresses at my place. So I check it out, I'm laying on her bed and so is she. I didn't make a move because my buddy was in a similar situation when he was shot down. I like her and wanted to be respectful. So we fell asleep together in the same bed. Next morning she goes to work and leaves me in her apartment. I leave a note before I leave. She had a pending job interview as well, so in the note I tell her to give me a call to see how her interview goes, thanking her for last dinner and conversation the night before, and my number (everything happened so fast we didn't even have each other's number). She has not called me, it's been 4 days. Did I F up and should move on? Should I call her? If I do call her, how do I explain me getting her number (stole number off of friend's cell phone and friend does not know we went out together)? I'd like to date her, but if that doesn't work out being friends is fine as well. What should I do or is this a lost cause and I should just move on?

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:30 pm 
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hm let's see.

actually quite remarkable that you not #closed her but that you already slept in the same bed together. :D

I think the note wasn't a bad idea.

I think you should not call her. It could demonstrate that you are too needy.
You say she is quite busy with her work, so 4 days is not that much time.

Wait until she'll call you back
(you doesn't got her phonenumber so if you call her it is quite strange because she didn't gave it to you as you already said)

If she had a fun night what I expect from the story you tell she definately didn't forget you.
Maybe it's a test from her side to see how you are.
Maybe she will call you about a week (or two)

When she does. Don't refer too much about the last time. Show that she needs to be glad that you were her company that day.


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 Post subject: wow!!!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 8:30 pm 
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Thanks for the response. I am going to follow your advice and wait a week or two. I was freaking out because it's been four days, I thought it was a lost cause. I appreciate the help. I have sooo much to learn.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:39 pm 
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Call, what do you have to lose?

If she blows you off then who cares. Move on. She is just one girl. You are a strong alpha male who does what he wants when he wants. If she does not want to hang with you, than she has terrible taste in men and is the one with the problem. If she ask's "where did you get my number?" say "i asked my friend for it. I know you want to hang out with me again, so meet me at xxxx tomorrow at 730" or whatever.. just control your frame and the conversation.


EDIT: I got to thinkin about your problem while I was taking a piss..... she sounds like a cock tease. Since you didn't make a move and was the "respectable guy" she may have put you in the friend zone. You basically described a nice day her and her "gal pal" would have. You have to make more sexual advances to make it clear that you are more than just a friend. If i stay the night in a womans bed or she stays in mine... Its pretty much known whats gonna go down...

Also, quit putting so much pressure on yourself. Its only been 4 days, we all lead busy lives. When you call her say, "Hey, I have been meaning to call you, but just been so busy.... " this way it doesn't sound like you have been waiting around for her call the whole time. Women can smell desperation like a good shoe sale.....
CK

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:27 pm 
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Okay now I am lost. Based on the two responses for my post, the opinions are both great but completely different. I can see waiting a week or two, so I won't seem needy which would play into my advantage. On the other hand, I can see how being the alpha male can be attractive and by giving her a call now I know either way if there is something here. My friend who was shot down by her showed his alpha male side to her, but he is 5'9" and 275lbs. When we talked she said that this was an issue, but she also said that she liked bad boys. I don't know what to do???

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:38 pm 
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My main thought is, if you wait too long, you become an after thought. 4 days is not needy. The next day is not needy if you are confident and believe in what you are doing and what you are saying.

There are no rules.

It sounds like you are too focused on this girl. Quit over thinking, because if you never try, than you will never know.

CK

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:03 pm 
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call get her number you have nothing to loose and it may stale after a few weeks


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