This has got to be a sticking point, because I always do it, and it turns attraction from girls into inevitable boredom or LJBF seeing as things go nowhere.

Long story short:

HB9 is a friend of a friend; I meet her for a moment right before I come home from a semester abroad in Denmark (I'm American). I also met her nice but hokey boyfriend. She's an exchange student at my university in Boston this semester. She apartment sat for me while I visited my family and went on vacation in Sweden.

When I got back, she'd already begun moving into her new apartment. She had one bag left to pick up and had to return my spare keys, so I invited her over Sunday night. Convo started strong but faded to boring "interview" questions. Soon she looked at her watch and said she'd better get going. While I tried to hail her a cab, convo got better, and as she left she suggested we hang out. I told her to call me.

She met me after class yesterday and we went back to my apartment only for a moment so I could drop off my books. She didn't want to leave her stuff there while we toured around. As we walked to the Boston Public Gardens for two miles down quaint/cozy streets, she started to open up a bit more, becoming increasingly flirtatious. We got sandwiches in the financial district and I walked her out to the harbor, with a perfect view of the city, just as the sun set. It was totally a perfect moment. By that point, I was asking her the personality test questions I run on most girls (simple "what kind of superpower would you have" etc.) and things were getting better. Whenever the convo would drift off, she would pick it up again.

After a brief moment of silence to mourn a pause in the convo we got up, walked around the harbor some more, and started heading back into the now lit-up city. She had mentioned her boyfriend several times during the evening. I asked her Carl Jung's personality test; the final question of which is, "pick a body of water and give me three adjectives to describe it" -- I got the best/most amusing response I've ever gotten for that one, as she picked the Thames River, describing it as calm, dirty, and connecting. According to the test, the adjectives describe your sex life.

We got on the subway back to campus and since the 'date' was coming to a close, I started amping things up. To pass the time on the subway ride, we had a staring contest, thumb war (which was entirely new to her), and hand slapping reflex thing. When we got out of the subway, we were about to part ways....

She gave me a big hug, and as she disengaged, we looked into one another's eyes for a moment, saying nothing -- and then abruptly "see ya!' and parted ways. The kiss-close moment came and went. It's my huge sticking point. I fear rejection and I can never be sure they really want it.

Best case scenario -- she felt some sort of attraction (I got IOIs) and tension. We came to the edge and turned back; next time we hang out we'll come to the edge again and I'll take one step over.

OK/neutral scenario -- she stays true to her boyfriend; nothing happens between us, but she doesn't hook up with anybody else (that I know about), either. We stay friends and her hotness helps as a pivot.

Worst case scenario -- I fail to win her over with my game, but as her resolve weakens, she gets with half of Boston instead.

I respect the idea of her being faithful to her man, but otherwise it would totally bite if I screw up (or have already inextricably screwed up) and she ends up with other guys instead whose games are better or are bigger.

Everything leading up to the parting ways wasn't perfect, but for me was really, really well done. The parting ways did not go well because I choked. I should have at least suggested a "kiss goodbye" on the cheek. I need to overcome the sticking point -- how?

Also, any suggestions on what I should do with this chick to attempt taking things to the next level? If I'm rejected, I'll give her a more presentable version of my best-worst case scenario worries, because I won't really care much about where our interpersonal relationship goes after that. It's unlikely that anything will happen, but if I don't try, it's 100% likely that nothing will happen.

Anybody?

Hey bud. Bit of an older post... but you're probably still wondering.

First of all, let's go general. If you're hunting one girl, then a kiss-close is tough. It's make or break, and all your work goes down the tube if you screw it up. However, instead of hunting, take the fishing approach. Pursue 30 girls, and be confident in the fact that you're set no matter what. If this kiss-close doesn't go perfectly, who cares? There are tons of other girls.

This loosens the stress a bit.

Now, for the kiss-close, you've got to work on kino escalation. You were on the right track with the thumb war and hand games... but escalate it. You're keeping it all at the hand level. Build.

My favourite default is massage. Learn how to massage. It's an amazing way to build sexual tension.

Now you just have to improv your way into a massage. Random ideas... she slaps too hard during the game. Mock being hurt by it, and mope. Tell her she's being way too aggressive. Tease her about it. She'll jokingly try to console you.

Don't cave in until she agrees to give you a massage.

You can offer to trade massages, 'if she's good'. When it's your turn to massage, start innocently on the shoulders, then slowly work up the neck to the head. Tugging on the hair a bit will get her excited. Get closer.

This kind of kino, as opposed to the hand slapping, builds sexual tension.

Another playful, innocent way of building sexual tension is to 'sprawl'. Haha. I'm sure there's a better way of wording it... but that's all I can think of at the moment. I do this a ton. It gets the girl laughing, while you get to build the kino.

In your case on the subway, I'd exaggerate a yawn, stretch, and get super comfy. All over her. Kick up your feet, lie down with your head on her lap, rearrange her purse/hands/anything else around you as pillows, etcetera. Act like a cat/dog nestling into its bed. She can't help but finding it amusing, meanwhile you're snuggled up with her. Once you're comfy, and she's at a loss as to what to do with you, just grab her hand and make her pet your head. Get a scalp massage Again. Keep the situation amusing. With an SPAM like this, you can get away with so much.

This turned into quite the rant... haha. Alright. Lastly, I'll throw some pointers out for the kiss close.

Beforehand, I like to have touched the face a little bit in my kino escalation. Brushing something off her cheek gently, touched her jaw lightly, etcetera. This gets her thinking about the kiss. Gets her wanting it.

When you hug, run your hand into her hair at the back of her head. It's a really erogenous zone for girls... a lot of girls moan when I give it a little tug during a hug. Haha. If you do the 'lean back and gaze into each others' eyes' with your hand playing with her hair... you're sending some pretty strong sexual signals. You can also use that to gently pull her head back towards yours.

By doing that, you eliminate the need to awkwardly lean in for the kiss. You're doing the 'lean in' by just applying a tiny bit of pull. If she's not feeling it, she'll ignore it... but if she's ready, she'll give a bit. That little response on her part is the only permission you need to pull harder, and lean in for a kiss.

I'm hoping you know this, but dead giveaways that she wants a kiss are her eyes flicking to your lips, and her licking her own lips. If you see one or two of these, be confident. She wants it. Do her a favour and take the kiss.

And that's that.

Happy hunting.

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