Hi guys,

I am just not sure if I should move on and forget this girl or keep on trying to go out with her. I really like her a lot, but life happens. The story is really simple...
We've been out for about 2 weeks. had a lot of fun going out. When I went for a kiss first time (screwed up I think by asking her for it) she told me that "She got out of a relationship about a month ago which was relaly tough on her, she is still not ready, its too soon...". a week later the same scenario occurred.

She calls me a very nice guy, she told me its not a rejection its just she needs more time etc... after I asked her "do you even have any feelings for me?"

Now this is the third week and I think she is trying to be a little more unavailable to me at this point. So should I return the favor and also become unavailable, or should I move on as this is a lost cause?

We are supposed to go out on Friday to Salsa. I'm tempted to flake on her early, call her and come up with some excuse as to why I cant go anymore on Friday. Just I feel like I am a bit too old for that kind of behavior, not that she isn't doing it already.

Thanks for any advice gents,

C.R.

2 possible scenarios. A. she's the kind of girl who wants something the easier it is for her to get, pull back, go on friday but act distant, not distant like you're upset, just distant like you have more important things on your mind. make her work for your attention. don't drag it out, eventually you have to show the faintest interest, but only once she realizes that things aren't always going to be done on her schedule of needs, but yours as well.

B. she's only in this because she would feel guilty giving you a straight up no, if so, you're shit out of luck mate

Hey randlemanc, welcome!

With the girl situation, I advise that you give her some time to do her own thing, I notice that you're asking questions such And this is a very "needy" type of thing to say to a girl. She'll will be forced to answer and therefor feel uncomfortable answering. So give her some time, try not to be too needy around her, don't get too involved with everything she does etc.

I would like to also mention that if this relationship doesn't work out, there are always other girls out there!

Goodluck mate, and I hope you write back on what happens if you follow the some of the things I sent out <3

-Yuksec

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<3 I'm always interested in going out to clubs and picking up, so if ya in melbourne, PM me and we'll organise somthing <3

Thanks guys. It all sounds like really good and sound advice. Even though I am supremely new to the website so a lot of terminology is still foreign to me.

I'm going to be more distant from now on and do my own thing for a while, see if she tries to step up her game. If not, then well its best for it to be over probably. Just thats the part of the game (or life if you will) I dont know too well. Those of us that dont know require some rules to go by. How distant is distant enough to not overdo it? How often should I see her? If she wants to go somewhere how soon should I agree to it or disagree? Thinking it might be best to find something else to concentrate on to get distracted enough and it will only be natural... but then again I really just dont know. Uncharted waters for me at this present time.

If anyone can advice it would be a lot of help.

Thanks guys,

C.R.

I won't be able to give you any direct answers on this, simply because I do not know. However, I'm quite sure this would be what Mystery refers to as "calibrating": Basically just practice, see other girls, and get a feeling for it.
And if you do it wrong this time, there's loads of other women to try on, and some day you're sure to succeed