Hey all!

Okay - so this will be officially my first request for advice from this forum. This is going to be long and I'm not sure if this is the right forum for it.

Here's a rundown of the story:

I met this girl who's in one of my classes at uni. She looks initially shy and quite timid. Turns out that she's in my debating team for one of the topics which is good since I've got a cue to speak to her or whatever.

Anyway, yesterday our debating team met and we started discussing the structure of our debate and so forth. When the final guy departed, I started talking to her a little bit more. Ironically, she had a time constraint and had to leave for class. I asked her to have coffee after she was done with her classes.

Moving forward - we met up and actually spoke for approximately one hour. Personally, I thought it was an amazing conversation for two contrasting individuals. She admitted she was quite shy but when she we were talking to each other, it was barely noticeable. Actually, I could hardly notice that she was shy. She was cheerful and lovely. Alright, enough of this sentimental bullshit.

I closed it off by saying - "Tell you what. I reckon you're cute so I'm going to take you out on Friday night."

I'm returning to the dating scene so forgive my amateur-like skills. Heh.

She actually agreed. We set up a night for Saturday actually because her and I had something on Friday. I may have made a mistake by saying - "I like meeting new people". Make of it what you will.

I messaged her today about how tired I was at work and how knackered I was. She replied and suggested that possibly go out after the debate was done (Monday) because she was afraid that it might be weird if we went out on the Saturday night that it might affect Monday's debate. I don't know what the fuck that meant. Either she's afraid of meeting new people or she reckons something will happen. Whatever.

The messaging rally perpetuated. At one point, she wrote - "To be fair to you - I'm not looking for more than a friendship at this point."

My reply - "lol, don't be too sure. we'll still go out once the debate's done and see what happens. cool?"

Her reply - "hehe i sense persistence .. (something something) yep, i'd still like to go out with you .. you're fun" along those lines

My reply - "heh, and i sense ur fear of the unknown but i still see something else though .. we'll see, we'll see"

Yeah, so that's how that transpired. Prior to that 'friendship' message, I actually wrote - "look i'll be clear - if i wasn't interested, i wouldn't have asked you." lol

Dunno if that's relevant. So, I don't think this is your traditional example of a girl flaking but I need some advice as to how to go about getting this one. If it was in the club, it'd be different (btw, she's never been clubbing before). For some reason - I want to pursue this girl. Typically, it would just be next, next, next - bingo! But, this is a challenge. A good one at the very least. I haven't gotten to know her for long and she seems like a traditional, conservative girl.

I get the feeling she's afraid of awkward situation or meeting new people or some shit.

Bottom line - I'll see her tomorrow for another debate team meet-up. Anything I should say? Anything I should prompt? Should I try to comfort again? Should I just wait until the debate's done and arrange an outing, then see what happens?

I still have a chance to see if this one works.

Any help would be great!

NB - Really sorry about the length of this - the context of the situation had to be described

"To be fair to you - I'm not looking for more than a friendship at this point."


She replied and suggested that possibly go out after the debate was done (Monday) because she was afraid that it might be weird if we went out on the Saturday night that it might affect Monday's debate.



Ok first off her first statement isn't a bad thing at all,actually its a pretty cool thing really just because she doesn't want anything else.Most woman who say that actually mean that they still want you but not as a boyfriend.I suggest start Making her atracted more flip her atraction switches.Get her to be in All,then once that is done build more comfort with her so when you do go out she is already thinking..

The second statement could actually mean to different things really.She could be very nervous,and wanted to see what you would say "ST" or she could have made a second date..Witch ever is fine.Just plan your game carefully don't get traped in the LJBF catagory,you still have a great chance to game her anyway you want..So goodluck to ya..

having read your replies to the messages, im thinking that if i was being really analytical of it, it sounds like your making it v.obvious your attracted to her and therefore chasing her. The fact that your letting her know your 'intrested' is basically saying that your solved, and she doesnt really have to try for you because youve already let her know that you want her. Now you have done this in a less needy way than most, but its always easier if you dont let them know your intrested in them until shes attracted to you first or at least till youve started attracting her.

I suggest being a bit more of a challenge and not conveying too much intrest but this seems like a direct approach and she doesnt seem put off so play it by ear. Just remeber that you are the prize in this pick up, let her win the prize and she will want it more, give it her for free and she will want it less.

Try letting her know that alls your intrested in is meeting new people and its her 'perverted mind' or 'big headedness' that is making her think that your coming on to her (do this playfully!)

good luck with your game, and as i said before, it sounds like she is intrested, just dont let her win you over too easily.

slick

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its not the age of the man that matters, but the wisdom within

I would simply play it cool at this point. At the debate make sure work is work, seriously save any game for the date. If she is freindly be freindly back, staying in work mode will keep you from saying anything that could jepordize or indefenitely postpone the date. Dont take it too far and freeze it out or seem hurt or upset by her. You want to avoid being too freindly so that you dont end up LJBF before the date begins, nor do you want to push attraction buttons (at all IMHO) much because the persistence remark really shows that she is suspicious of your motives in my mind. Think of it like this, the way she perceives you is on a scale of 1-10. 1 is a total womanizer, he belives in pump and dump, he cares nothing about the woman his only use to them is as a "sausage with feet"(credit:???) at 10 is the guy who is really nice and funny and caring, but is not attractive at all, and 5 is where you want to be the guy who is caring but strong, funny but still extremely attractive. I think initaly her immage of you was a 7 nice guy but is attractive, since then you have drifted to the other end of the line to around a 3 attractive but mabey a little too interested in sex. What you have to do is try to keep from slipping any closer to 1 while you work and then at the date try to get back to a 5. If this makes no sence tell me, i have a tendancy to ramble...