responding to "I have a boyfriend"



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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:16 pm 
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Ok I'm gonna be asking out a girl who already has a boyfriend. She has never mentioned to me that she has a boyfriend and the only reason I know that is via facebook (says she's in a relationship). How should I respond to "I have a boyfriend" reply when I ask her out?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:30 am 
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women put that they are in a relationship all the time on facebook and myspace and it doesn't mean they are.
Ask her to do something that you need her help with like picking out a present for your niece at the mall or something. That way she just thinks you guys are going as friends.
Or if you know she is really into you, the conversation might go like this after you invite her out-
her- "I have a boyfriend"
you- "So"
her- "he'll get mad at me"
you- "he doesn't let you hang out with friends?"
her- "I can't"
you- "You can bring him too, but if he starts to annoy me we'll have to leave him in the car" (Basically don't except no for an answer).
her- "haha ok I'll go"
you- "good I"ll pick you up at 7"


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:55 am 
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i said i'm not looking for a girl friend before and that worked pretty good


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:02 am 
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I like that Mrbeefy

- Whoa, whoa, whoa... Im sorry but i dont swing that way.

-I didnt ask if you had a boyfriend, I asked what time you wanted to go get some coffee.

-So how long have you had this problem?

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:30 am 
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I went by McAllister’s around 9 to get some sweet tea and talk to this girl (who last year I had gone on a date with but had failed to k-close). She was mopping the floor near the exit while I was leaving. I approached with a “what up” and she responded the same before repeating the old catchphrase of “whatzzzz up!” in a mumbling/goofy fashion as she kept her attention on mopping the floor. I think she was kind of embarrassed at this reference.

I asked her what she had been up to and she replied that she had been in Florida the past couple of days with friends. She went into some details about the event – being with friends and their connections to staying at certain places. She even mentioned one of the girls by name. Emphasizing the importance of her friends? She does come across as being dominated by her friends it seems.

She then suddenly inserted that she had just got my text message from the day before. Oh yeah I forgot about that, I told her as if I'm care free and have bad memory. If I’m not mistaken she started to focus more on me than work now. I told her I’d been busy moving in. Where at? Oh at _____. Apartment or house? Apartment. She then explained she’s living at a house on such and such street.

I asked her what she was doing later that night. She said in a disappointing tone and look that she was getting off at 11 but would be up doing something afterwards. Around this time she was close to me and I took a step behind her and pointed out the window to this abandoned but still neon-lighted bar across the street. After answering what the place use to be (a gay bar), I told her two houses down is where my fraternity brothers live and that we’re throwing a party that night there. Then I told her I was throwing a kegger the next night at my place and she responded very cheerfully something about everyone is throwing a party that night and she’s going to be back in her hometown. I believe I reassured her about stopping by and that we should do something sometime and started walking towards the door.

I don’t remember if I had hugged her during this conversation (as I had when I had seen her two weeks before – she was the one who goes for the hug now) and she had this physical stance of being disappointed and abandoned when she asked if I was leaving. Yeah I told her, I’m gonna leave her to her chores I said as I motioned towards the mop and bucket. Too bad the fraternity ended up changing venues that night and I texted her later at 11:00 saying that we had moved the party to our frat house (a 5-10 minute walk in opposite direction). She didn’t reply.

I was meaning to ask her out obviously but I thought it would be best to first get her to a party and then asking her out. Plus she kind of looked stressed.

Should I call her in # days? Wait until the next time I'm in McAllister's? Or what?

I feel like at times I was coming across nervous during the conversation with her. Later that night I was getting two other girls laughing their asses off (and getting them comfortable) without trying. I need to somehow be the same guy around the mop girl without coming across as an asshole.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:54 am 
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"want another one?"

"wow... we just met one minute ago and you're already telling me your problems"


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 11:39 am 
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i said i'm not looking for a girl friend before and that worked pretty good
Yeah I like that one too.

My standard responses are simple:
"So?"
"And?"
"I don't care."

Lines like "So how long have you had this problem?" and "Yeah, me too. Anyways..." basically say the same thing, just with humor. I just don't care about coming off as funny or C&F 100% of the time.

If I know the guy, though, I DO care. Bros before hos.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 11:58 am 
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Website: http://www.myspace.com/bigjamiemac
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Location: anderson,indiana
hb I have a boyfriend

pua Awww how cute so you circled yes when he rote you the love note?thats to cute...


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:49 pm 
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Be pre-emptive with girls who you think would be the type to say "I have a boyfriend".

All the above responses (all of them) are excellent responses wel done authors.

However if you take the wind from their sails to begin with. Here is a Milton Erikson (heavy influence on John Grinder and Richard Bandler) opener.
sees a young blossoming girl in a flowery dress
Milton- "Who do you belong to?"
Her- "My father" (or modern responses "Non-one! no-one owns me*"
* if she says this- she cannot use the boyfriend excuse- if so say "I thought no-one owned you."
Either way say- "Well your mine now!"


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:18 pm 
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Quote:
women put that they are in a relationship all the time on facebook and myspace and it doesn't mean they are.
Ask her to do something that you need her help with like picking out a present for your niece at the mall or something. That way she just thinks you guys are going as friends.
Or if you know she is really into you, the conversation might go like this after you invite her out-
her- "I have a boyfriend"
you- "So"
her- "he'll get mad at me"
you- "he doesn't let you hang out with friends?"
her- "I can't"
you- "You can bring him too, but if he starts to annoy me we'll have to leave him in the car" (Basically don't except no for an answer).
her- "haha ok I'll go"
you- "good I"ll pick you up at 7"

This sends off a LJBF vibe and that is not his motive. And you do NOT want to invite the boyfriend on your "date." ...even if that is the only way to get her there. I like the "I wasn't asking if you had a boyfriend, I was asking what time you wanted to get coffee." Or the "so....i don't care." It doesn't let her use her boyfriend as an excuse for not going.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:39 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
i said i'm not looking for a girl friend before and that worked pretty good
Yeah I like that one too.

My standard responses are simple:
"So?"
"And?"
"I don't care."

Lines like "So how long have you had this problem?" and "Yeah, me too. Anyways..." basically say the same thing, just with humor. I just don't care about coming off as funny or C&F 100% of the time.

If I know the guy, though, I DO care. Bros before hos.
"Yeah, me too"...:lmao: 8)
Love it!

_________________
Be half man, and half amazing.- Neo

"A real PUA will make every women he encounters feel like she experience something once in a lifetime."- White_Rose


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 11:36 pm 
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Location: New York City
HB: "I have a BF"
WR: "Hey, slow down there kid. Don't you want to go out first before we become an item?"

Ok, never tried this one before, but I'll see how it works next time. To the rest of you guys GREAT LINES! Keep up the good work.

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Anyone can walk into a bar and pick up a random girl.
The trick is to make the experience unforgettable to her.
A real PUA will make every women he encounters feel like she experience something once in a lifetime.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:09 am 
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play it casual.
Be like, "I totally now what you mean, i have a wife and 2 kids at home"

Or

"Hey I just want to take you out, its not like were getting married. geez, easy speedracer"

and when you hang out with her, pretend like she doesnt have a boyfriend, use bf destroyers every time he comes up, and use compliance tests as your trying to escalate.

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--Brad


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:22 am 
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yo i went through the same thing... but the girl ended up dumping the bf and fucking me... so he's a lil advice.

See i just wanted to fuck her. regardless of if she cares about me, i could give two shits. I let her contact me, never did i start the thread.

Just think about it like this, do u really wanna start a relationship with someone who cheats on her bf. i didn't want a relationship


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