OK I read about oneitus and it not being a good thing, and I guess from a purely pua perspective it isn't, however this doesn't help all those poor souls who have fallen for a particular woman and want to win her over.

So, I propose a thread to help guys who have found someone they really fancy/have fallen in love with, a thread to help them win over this one particular woman.

Of course, on the downside, in my experience, as soon as you start to have serious feelings for a particular woman, especially before you have "got to know them" then things get exponentially harder.

However, there is hope, throughout history men have fallen in love with women and won them over, hollywood is full of movies on the same subject, and we all know art mirrors life.

So, what I propose is people who have found themselves in this situation who have won the woman over put down their ideas, woman who understand the situation, put down their thoughts, experienced pua's make suggestions. (Barring the obvious, "forget it, your obsessing and move on") this is a new challange.

Tin hat on.

As you have probably guessed, I am in this situation.

So, this is how I am approaching it, I will let you know in time how it goes.

Initially I am just building comfort, trying to get to know her better, more importantly, letting her get to know me better, building a relationship, not too close mind. Gradually increasing kino and using some of the techniques on here (and things in life I have learned for myself which in many ways mirror whats on here) to build attraction.

I am taking it slowly, touchy touchy feely monkey. I believe progress is being made, I will update in time.

Ok, stop. Trying to game your one true love will never work and why every1 who knows anything on this forum will laugh and know that its not gonna work. Yes i am a bastard thats gonna tell it to your straight.
IT ISNT GOING TO WORK.
If you think this 1 girl is so brilliant you are screwing up how you attract women. You are:
Making her so high value you will get all nervous and screw up
You WILL come across needy. You cant help it, just by saying to us you love her you feel like you need her, life wont be worth living without her what ever.
You will ignore other girls. This lowers your social proof, the jealousy all women get (and men).
You will become irritating to people who would normally help you. Her girlfriends will get pissed at you going all ga ga when u see her. Your guy friends will get pissed off with the hundred love letters that you have under your bed and most of all, the people on this forum who could teach you how to get any girl you want will get pissed because we know it wont work like that.

Now, before you start insulting me for being so horrid and blunt its not all lost and i am by no means saying there isnt that special girl out there. The problem is you dont want to think of it that way. This idea that one girl is supirior to another is why newbs have a problem gaming hb9+. They think they are more valueable and therefore miss the fundemental things.

I could rant for ages but i wont. Get out and game other women MORE than you game her. Not only will you realise she isnt all that amazing as you think but she will start to wonder why u no longer are stalking her.

If you stop obsessing overe her she will either no longer be creeped out or, if she liked the attention, start trying to work out how to get it back.


/madals

Yes it does. "To get the one girl, you must be able to get ALL the girls."

The classic cure for oneitis is GFTOW (Go Fuck Ten Other Women) for many very good reasons.

If you go fuck ten other women, you'll finally see that your oneitis girl isn't so "special" after all. If you find that you are UNABLE to go fuck ten other women, you should finally understand that the reason behind your oneitis is from having a scarcity mentality, therefore you need to just improve your skill.

There is something special about every woman that makes her a HB10 in her own way. However, as a PUA one should understand that since there are so many beautiful and special women in the world, obsessing over just one is really foolish... especially when you aren't benefiting from doing so.

Also, "pour souls?" This website isn't about victim mentality at all. It's about destroying it and manning up. Man up and take control of your life.

Guys, thanks for the feedback, but I should mention, I am currently in a relationship, and have no problems pulling when I want to, I certainly don't stink of desparation when I am with this girl, however I am very keen on her, and as I say I believe she is the one I could settle down with. I am 40 and have a great deal of experience with women.

I understand what you are saying with regards to higher value etc etc I don't plan on gaming her as such.

My goal is to get with her permanantly, and I believe that you can fancy a particular woman and make it work, it doesn't have to be a numbers game, what I am trying to do is establish a (I don't want to use the word method because it sounds too mechanical, but I can't think of a better word) method for winning that one special person we all so often meet.

So, with all this in mind, I am trying to figure out a way of using some of the tried a tested methods to suceed in a oneitus situation. Call it a challange if you like. I accept I may fail, that's life, but I will deifnately fail if I don't try.

Theres plenty of guys and girls out there with oneitus that may benefit from me suceeding or failing, who I may be able to help.

Any feed back is cool positive or negative, so are ideas.

I've just finished reading The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo (which certainly blew my mind but I won't go into that now) and there's a chapter on 'How to attract women you're already friends with'
In this chapter he explains what the difference is between attracting new women, going on an instant-date and f-close, and attracting women you're already friends with (read: are already in a certain social circle you're involved in aswell)
When attraction women you don't know you're in an open social circle, new people come in it and people dissappear from the social circle all the time. It is a dynamic process and this means making your advances on one woman won't change your status (or what to call it) for the other people in the system. Women in the social circle may leave it the next day and you may never see them again.
This is different in a closed social circle (e.g. your group of friends, collegues from work etc.). There are little dynamics in this system; it's rare that a woman totally dissappears from the system and the influx of new women is way lower than the open social circle. And since these people interact with each other, making advances on one of the many too soon or in a bad way will alter your status in THE WHOLE SOCIAL CIRCLE in a NEGATIVE way.
This being said, makes it easier to understand how to attract women that are already in your social circle. You have plenty of moments to see these girls again, so there's no need to rush things. This doesn't mean you have to be extra careful in your actions, it just means you'll have to progress in your escalation/showing interest more gradually.

I think Chief and Madals have a point where they say oneitis is a bad thing and all and that you shouldn't obsess over one woman because it does make you look needy, but that doesn't mean it can't be done to successfully attract your oneitis!
Hope this helps!

Pc, by Feist

_________________
Girl: 'Aww you're playing me'
Feist: 'If I got a nickle for everytime I heard that...'

No we're talking, thats the sort of thing I mean, thanks feist.

That puts into perspective the way I am trying to handle this situation, slowly slowly catchy monkey, build up rapport, kino, most importantly trust, mutual trust, and honest discretion, if she feels trust and that I can be discreet, then there is a chance of moving forward without either of us risking social ruin within the group dynamic. Indeed if done correctly, our peers need not know anything ever, unless we become an item. That's the theory anyway, now to put it into practice.

Also, I accept the oneitus thing doesn't help, but it's there so I have to deal with it. However if my frame is right and strong enough, it shouldn't effect me.

So, first off, get your frame right.
Build rapport, and trust, create cast iron trust (The stage I am at)
I suspect the next step will be to see her away from the group, but lets get past stage 2 first.