So, I have this friend - no REALLY. I'm not too proud to admit when I have a problem, but this genuinely is a friend of mine. Pure AFC - lovely guy, just way programmed to be nice to girls. He's been chasing this one chick for about 3 months now, and she's been seeing someone else who has now moved to the other side of the world for good.

So we have a situation where the ex is no actual threat, but is very much on her mind. I need some kind of ex destroyer for him to use tonight because unless he can build attraction immediately he's going to become the go-to guy for when she wants to talk about how emo she is feeling, etc. and he will totally fulfil that role, he's got form. I told him he needed to focus on someone else but we've all had a touch of oneitis and sleeping with 12 other girls just ain't happening for this guy. He's entirely cynical about Game. any help would be much appreciated

You're doing the man a great service. Hopefully people on this forum do the same for you. I don't have an 'ex-destroyer' but here's some general good advice you can give him. Feel free to dissagree, we're all here to learn.

I think the main thing he needs to do is stop putting women on a pedistal. You don't see girls pittifully trying to please every man they meet. That would be madness. It would be great... but it would be madness. Chaos, really. No. Girls are human beings, they can take being made fun of. Tell him to first get over trying to be a knight in shining armour. Chivalry is only effective in small doses. Tell him he needs to keep her on her toes, not make her feel safe in the comfort of his fluffly, loving, safe, suffocating arms.

I would advise against any direct moves showing his intent. In fact I would advise he make himself seem unavailable. Not to turn his back on her, but to talk and socialise with idealy other girls, otherwise with other people generally. He needs to have a good time, keep busy. Basically he needs to be 'preoccupied' rather than obviously 'available'.

It's a thin line, though. He doesn't want to shut her out so that she looks for someone else. He needs to shift her focus towards him and build attraction when they are together, being preoccupied is only a part of that... and I think someone else should give advice on the more precise aspects of that because I am not a PUA, at least I don't have a tried and tested system to explain. I just use charisma and humor and conciously try and make fun of/share a laugh with girls as much as possible.

Avoid deep conversations until the mood is right is a good rule. But don't live by it because not all girls are the same.