hey guys, I have read a lot of great posts on here and just to clarify I have always been the typical nice guy, but lately I have been trying to change that to me being the prize attitude instead of following the thinking that the girl is the prize. But because i have had this nice guy, girl is the prize mentality for so long, im 22, i find myself reverting to it many times... any advice on what i can actively do to get rid of this old way of thinking ?

"Nice guys finish last"

That is just one of the greatest quotes in the world, because is absolutely true ,but anyway how can you get rid of the nice guy attitude ?

First of all learning the fact that a woman is searching for a man not another best friend, like most nice guys act. Don't be the guy giving advices to the girl, tell her to ask advices to her girl friends not you.

Alpha Male attitude:

"There is a lack of real Men in this world" < Read this again...

A lack of Men? We are talking about attitudes, each day we have more nice guys, guys that do whatever the girl wants and are controlled by a girl.

A Woman needs someone to guide her.

Alpha Male Attitude, Make your own decisions, act as a man, have your own opinion and ideas.

Become a man, learn and understand that you don't have to be the nice guy to get laid, become the alpha male, How ? Leading, acting having your own thought, opinions and when you don't like something you say it.

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hey pal.

I know i sound like a broken record, but it is affective, (effective? gah i gotta work on that lol)

Anyway,

One day when you have nothing better to do I reccomend going to a public place (mall, some sort of casual event with lots of people) and go talk to every single woman and ask for directions to something. Or make it a minor mission to make them smile.

The point of this does lots of things but I'll mention how it helps me out (i can't speak on behalf of everyone, since we're all different)

1) it makes you realize that despite how a woman looks, they are a lot more normal then you think. Tends to bring them down to your level when it comes down to you and approaching your target and not getting nervous.
2) good practice! nothing better then honing your ability to communicate with the opposite sex! Hell I have a riot just goin out and meeting new people.
3) learn to have fun! a big thing about this whole game is that guys tend to make it a big thing all in the wrong way! Sure it can be an interesting, seductive (in more meaning then one) community to get into but don't over hype yourself!

Cause you'll start to over analyze and complicate a very natural process. don't you agree that doing something based on passion and desire is more performable then say something you are nervous about? Perspective is key mon frere!

Well that's just my 2 cents,

booyakasha

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It's not that I am conceded, I am merely convinced.

I personally think any nice guy situation is really a demonstrating higher value problem. I don't think you have internalized that fact that you are a prize and as a result conveyed that to women you come into interaction with.

My suggestion would be to forget "conveying" that your not a nice guy and create a mental game that unconciously projects your higher value.

If it were me, I would be telling myself that "I am the shit" as many times a day as I could. Then I would list the reasons "I am the shit," (i.e. you're smart, or have a good job, I am have skills a, b, and c). After daily repititions of telling yourself this and focusing on your strengths you will begin to internalize it. When you approach people (whether it be women or your boss), you will unconsciously have this belief that you are the shit and this confident attitude will project itself.

Last note, the difference to me between cocky and confident is that cocky is nothing but exaggerated outward show used to hide someone's lack of who they are and what their strengths are. Confidence on the other hand is sublte outward show that someone believes in themself to handle any situation that may come their way because they have a deep understanding of who they are as a person and what their strengths are.

I hope this can give you some guidance in your problem.[/i]

lol chill i love that

"If it were me, I would be telling myself that "I am the shit" as many times a day as I could."


hahaha so good!


that's what it's all about man

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It's not that I am conceded, I am merely convinced.

hey chill, that is some excellent advice. I think u nailed what my question was and i will def. try that "i am the shit" and positive qualities about myself, because i do have plenty i just happen to dwell too much on the negatives... that is probably part of what is stopping me, but great post, thanks dude.

hey new, i can't stress enough unless you have the people skills that it plain comes down to practice makes perfect

give the mall thing a try, maybe go to a mall you don't normally go to. but made the world of difference for me

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It's not that I am conceded, I am merely convinced.

Dude..do this..get a random chick date her for few times when she considers you her biyfriend cheat on here =) no more mr.nice guy after that.

B

Disagree with you BiN.

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Facebook: xf_pua@hotmail.com

Mate disagree all you want shit does'nt change anyway

Woff

I think there are many other ways to get rid of the nice guy attitude than cheating on your girlfriend.


Just my 2 cents about your comment.

_________________


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New TWITTER account: http://twitter.com/xfman1

Facebook: xf_pua@hotmail.com

I think the best advice i read from all this was

"One day when you have nothing better to do I recommend going to a public place (mall, some sort of casual event with lots of people) and go talk to every single woman and ask for directions to something. Or make it a minor mission to make them smile. "

Best advice. I don't really think saying 'your the shit' helps. Because you don't believe it. You can affirm it to yourself, but deep down you wont believe it. Affirmations or NLP as people like to call it, works fantastic if your the more imaginative type of person. Maybe a reader or writer. Having sounds and visual things in your mind and taking them out of your body well i dunno. Its not really what worked for me. It was out there and i heard alot of great reviews of people who it worked for tremendously, and they had alot of success with it. But my question to all of them is.. to what end? to what end can you imagine a fantasy?

In my opinion the best way to affirm something is not to use affirmations, but to rather go out there and do approaches. For something as trivial as asking directions, itll be perfect. Or if you work at the front door in a restaurant, greeting people as they walk in, and once in a while having the guts to make a offhanded remark and get something going helps alot too. If anyones willing to put themselves in a casual job, that might be a nice thing to do. Anything that interacts with people, bar tending, working in a restaurant, serving drinks, glass holders, anything like that. You can even take it a bit more extreme and do security, traffic controller, police, to working in a clothes store, retail, so on so forth..

I believe that NLP has alot of good to offer. But generally i believe more strongly in going out there. You have too. No other way around it in my views.

Another thing id quickly like to share is the energy we have as guys. I figured this out recently! lets say you do alot of great approaches, or you do alot of active interaction. And than you won't have a problem approaching anyone. But lets say after that for 2 days you stay at home. You will automatically notice your fear and uncertainty come back. You can't get rid of first minute resistance. You can understand it, and i mean really understand it, so much that next time your like ' oh thats first minute resistance, i know it, its okay to feel this, its just another one of those guy things i have, so ill put that asside and open '.

Thanks to Chill1113 and Bose!

- Impact

PS: To get rid of being a nice guy you have to learn to be a man. To be a man, you need to learn how to walk, talk, you need inner understanding, and be able to offer value to every interaction you make. Than you'll turn into a gentleman. You don' t need to be a alpha bad ass every time, just need to be yourself and let her revolve around you, and genuinly understand her as the female she is.

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

Impact-

I am definitely not advocating NLP or the a Dr. Phil type affirmation type strategy. Quite the contrary I am advocating developing beliefs that are based on truths. If you are not the shit, then you really shouldn't say you are the shit. BUT I suspect that 95% of us on here have qualities and skills that make us the shit.

It seems to me that our society, parents, teachers, and peers are quick to point out the negative in situations, people, and life in general while rarely acknowledging the positive. Naturally we seem to do the same thing when we think about ourselves. Think about it- point out your weaknesses to others and you are considered being modest and honest with others. Point out what your strengths are and you always have to begin the sentence with "I don't mean to boast or brag, but I'm good at..."

Am I making sense. The whole thing about saying you are the shit is to counterbalance all the negative messages we hear day in and day out from ourselves and society. Honestly we all have something we are good at and chances are most of us focus on what we are not good at versus what we are good at. Start focusing on your strengths and it won't be long before you actually believe you are the shit.

I hope this helps.

Yeah your making perfect sense, i just don't agree it will do anything.

But hey, theres 2 different points of view right there! At least theres a choice to choose between one or the other, or take the good things form both!

- Impact

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

it really depends on what you are looking for in a woman. this idea that all women are the same is full of crap. if all men aren't the same then isn't it rediculous to assume that all women are. there is no single blueprint for hooking up with women. have you ever met christian girls? it doesn't matter how much game that you have...Mystery himself couldn't hook up with a dedicated Christian girl...and I am sure that he wouldn't even want to put himself through the trouble.

First things first...KNOW YOURSELF. Second...KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IN A WOMAN.

Without knowing those two things...it doesn't matter how many David D books you read or CDs that you listen to. By knowing yourself and knowing what you want...you will be capable of mapping a plan. You will have a better idea of where to go to look for girls, and what to say to them.

YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Many men have SERIOUS issues realizing that they are special and worthy of attention from women. I have more going for me than about 99.9% of the population right now...and yet just a few years ago...I put women on a pedistle. That's just madness...practically NO woman has what I have going for me...I am the prize. and it doesn't matter how hot the woman is. It is all about confidence...it doesn't matter what you say to women...and it how you say it. Seriously...how can you make a woman happy if you aren't happy with yourself? Trick her with game? Nah...just learn how to be happy with yourself.

The bottom line...women are looking for nice guys...just NOT WUSSES. they are looking for MEN. They want men to respect them, to make them laugh, to feel excitement. can you do all those things while being a nice guy? absolutely...just don't be a girl.