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Long story short, I was talking to this girl on the phone, and basically I had a lot of problems, she's a friend of mine.
Like making conversation was fine I knew how to keep the conversation going, but like I had a lot of problems. I sometimes interrupted her, like sometimes I thought she would be done talking so I would ask her a question or tell a related experience I had but she wasn't actually done, so I didn't know when to start talking. Another thing was, I would always say, "you know" and "Um" and what not. I sometimes talked a little too fast, she had to ask me to repeat some stuff I said, as I would not actually take a breath and just try to spew everything out.
Is there a way to improve this? Thanks.
To get ride of the "ums" and "you knows" you need to do one simple thing. Eliminate them from your vocabulary. Don't use them at work, at home, or in your head. "Um" is a word that they call a gap filler, which means you are not done talking yet and need a second to put together the rest of what your going to say. Rather than saying "um" just take a break and breathe. The one downside to that is the fact that she might think you are done talking and begin to talk herself, but you can just play that off with "thanks for cutting me off..." or something like that.
As far as the breathing part, you should try to breathe regularly. Chances are when you talk to her your adrenaline starts pumping and you need more oxygen and your movement (also speech) are accellerated. To her this is a sign that you are uncomfortable and or stress. Next time before you call take 5 deep breaths in through your nose (breathe in as deep as you can), then hold it in for about 10 seconds and finally slowly exhale through your mouth. That should help a bit with the breathing part.
-Smarts
CHAT
