hey guys, here's my deal. I used to work with this chick, for like a year. i got fired in may and she's been cheating on her man with me since then. she acts like she's my girl, in public nd at her or my house. its messed up tho because I know - and she knows - about her man. she's been with him for 4 years and its fucked up because no matter what I say, how i act, or what i do i can't get rid of him. i can't get her to change her mind. it really drives me crazy sometimes u kno.. is there anythin you guys think I could do to help her make the transition from him to me?

Normally, I really don't do a lot of stuff telling guys about how to get that one special girl. You've been trying for a year so a lot of stuff the guys are going to suggest is going to be variations of things you might have done before.

Honestly, I feel that the only way you're going to get her to leave is to take away the one thing she desires. YOU. If she truly desires you then taking yourself out of her picture is going to have to make her decide.

It may not be the course you wanted to go. I'm sure there are some safer methods out there, but none as powerful as the take away. She doesn't leave him, because you are going to stick around and she knows it.

You're going to appeal to her sense of loss by telling her to choose and then do a freeze out. Don't call her, don't talk to her for several days if you speak daily, which I'm guessing you do, or close to it.

You'll either have her or you won't. However, you'll know where she ultimately stands and you'll clear your mind of this problem.

BEST OF LUCK

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

J is spot on here. It's a tough thing to do, because you don't want to lose her, but as Mystery said, "You have to be willing to lose the girl in order to get her". If things aren't going the way you want, then you're getting the short end of the stick and you either have to get her to change by showing her you are willing to leave, or by finding another girl that won't treat you like that if that doesn't work.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye