well, there's a girl i like (i'm not going out with her, i have asked her out but she's not sure, says she doesnt want a boyfriend at this moment in time, so we're ''on the shift'' as it's called here), and she has a habit of talking about lads she's been with and rode (shagged) and i'm getting tired of listening to her bullshit on, even though i do really like her. how do i come back to this? like i only lost my virginity about a month ago and she's 16, and she was my first shag, but she wasn't a virgin before that. how the living fuck do i put a girl like her in her place? how do i get her to stop bullshittin' on about other lads who i really don't give a shit about?! like, whenever i say i don't care she calls me jealous and shit and i don't really know what to say! tips for a newbie anyone?

Tough situation. I don't think there is anything special you can tell her that will make the situation go away. If you are older than her she may be trying to justify herself by proving she can be and is sexual, but its still annoying.

You might be able to come out and just tell her the truth. Tell her that you are not jealous of the other boys you are only concerned about you and her. Thats a AFC responce, but thats the best I could think of. Give it a shot you never know, it could work...

Unfortunately in a situation like this, you really should have put her in her place straight away. If a girl starts to talk about something I don't like, I look her in the eyes, put my hand up and say "Stop. Just stop right there." - I then inform her that I don't want to hear about that, I don't need to hear about it, it's disrespectful and if she wants to spend time talking with me she will show some common courtesy otherwise walk the other way. Your tone of voice is very important. It needs to be soft and smooth so you don't sound angry. Your body body language should also remain slow and soft so as to appear very calm and in control of yourself. You'll do this naturally after a while but it's worthy of pointing out.

I have a reality check for you; people really hate these. Bite me. Up until this point you've been putting up with her shit because you wanna be with her and you're scared to stand up and say anything because it'll scare her away and you won't be in with a chance anymore. This is common and you need to stop this kind of thinking. NOW. You're not gonna like this and I don't care because you need to realise that in her eyes you're acting like a pussy. That's not attractive. You're chasing after her, when she should be the one chasing you. "But Dalziel what if I lose her, I don't know what I'd do without her!" You're doing it wrong. I've heard all this shit before and I know it's hard for new guys to understand, but she is not a beautiful snowflake. There are plenty more girls for you to surround yourself with and that's exactly what you should be doing. If she had any kind of respect for you, she wouldn't talk about that shit. She either knows that it makes you uncomfortable but talks about it anyway because she doesn't respect you, or she's too stupid to see that it makes you uncomfortable. Neither is acceptable, so you need tp put her in her place next time you see her. She can't respect a man who doesn't set boundaries and stand by them.

In your situation, the average guy trying to put her in her place will act angrily or will be visibly upset and let loose all his feelings. He'll tell her he likes her and that it hurts when she does these things, and pretty much try to guilt trip her into going out with him. If you do that, you either lose her altogether or get into a relationship she doesn't want and you are uneasy with. She will constantly test you to see what she can get away with and it'll be bad shit all round. Don't be the average guy. I'm gonna tell you exactly what you need to say and what to do, and wether you stick to it or not is your choice. I can't make you do it.

1. Next time you see her, tell her to sit down so you can talk. Sit in the most comfortable position you can. Lean back against a wall, spread your legs, and use the space around you.

2. Eye contact. DO IT. Look her in the eye while you talk and do not look away before she does. This will keep you dominant in the conversation and will prevent her trying to interrupt you. If she does start to talk over you, put your hand up and stay calm, say "I wasn't finished" then continue. Repeat if necessary.

3. First off, make it clear that you haven't been yourself lately and you don't usually put up with this kind of shit. It's a lie, but she won't know. Tell her that it's not right for her to talk about sleeping with other guys. You don't want to hear about it and shouldn't have to listen to it. Tell her that she knows this aswell, and if she didn't realise what she was doing, it's time you pointed it out for her. Tell her there is a lack of respect on her part and you won't tolerate that kind of behaviour from her anymore.

I will point out that your sudden change in attitude will give her a real jolt and she will be intimidated by it a little. She'll be skeptical of it though and will test you. She may not hang around with you as much as she used to. You might not like this. Deal with it. She wants to see if you'll start chasing her again, so don't fucking do it. At the minute, your actions are telling her that you're willing to chase after someone who doesn't respect you and treats you badly. Basically, you're showing her how weak and easily manipulated you are. No points for guessing what she's gonna think if you start doing that again. Of course then she'll also think that you can't stick to your own rules and won't take anything you say seriously ever again.

Put her in her place, set some rules and stand by them. If she breaks the rules more than once, send her on her way.

no i'm actually 11 months younger than her, but doesn't matter now anyways i actually got so tired of her shit i told her to fuck off, she was driving me up the fuckin wall!!bit ironic that i didn't say anything before, usually i'm not afraid to say what i think! the dumb bitch is only 16 and last week she was bragging about being with a 21 year old at her mates 18th. i just told her that i didn't give a fuck what she had to say about other fellas, not angrily, just very bluntly. suddenly she felt offended so she started shouting at me, even though i'd done nothing wrong, so i just told her to fuck off. can't believe i went for her, the fucking state of the tramp! anywayz i'm relieved to be on the playing field once again , and this time i'll look out for girls that aren't COMPLETE sluts!

I would have simply told her that I don't want to her about other people she's been with and she's not gonna be hearing about other people I'm with. It's common courtesy and she needs to understand that. It has very little to do with jealousy, it is merely an unpleasant situation and I don't want to deal with it.

Do all that while delivering it in the manner that Dalziel laid out and she will probably feel a bit uncomfortable and meek at first, but you show her that it's not a big deal by just moving on to other things and not dwelling on it. If she brings it up again, I wouldn't say anymore than one word like, "hey" and give her a serious look and body language to remind her that she's crossing the line.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Heres what you do. You first grab your balls because she obviously has them. Then tell her you don't want to hear her crap. Then find some other girl to go out with. Because its obvious she isn't going to do anything with you. I know you have feelings for this girl, but your not doing your self any good by staying with her and just hoping she comes around.

This is all good advice - I'd say exactly the same.

Your second post with the response you gave her was a bit too extreme - sounds like it turned into a slanging match with you telling her to f-off, etc.

Being the alpha male is about controlling the situation. Dalziel and Smarts both have the right attitude - standing your ground, being assertive but not forcing the conversation is definitely the way to go. She starts screaming at you, that's her problem - don't respond to it at all, just walk away. Remember, she will be the one looking like an idiot if she can't take the truth without screaming the house down. Sounds to me like to me although she's 16 in the body, more like 10 in the brain!

One more thing, speaking of age, it seems just a little too much to soon (or young) for sexual relations for her really (and for you that matter if you're 11 months her junior), especially based on her reactions, etc. But hey, that's just me...

Get the fuck out of friend zone. Start kinoing the hell out of the girl. Throw indirect sexual iois at her. Iod her. Show her you're the alpha that she has to earn to be with.