Hi there,
I'm new here so would like to say a few things to introduce myself and explain my situation. I think I might be a little bit unique amongst the posters here, but whatever, I have a long way to go and I know it. To make things short I'm a 23 year old who has suffered with social anxiety for many years. I very rarely leave the house, perhaps only to visit my grandma. Since discovering this pick up thing and deciding to try it out I've therefore started by practicing on family members, as they are the little social contact I have. I try some of the techniques i've read on my little sister when I see her around the house, only problem is I get extremely nervous even practicing on her, and start to tremble and lose my voice. Would it be better for me to start gaming her via aim then work my way towards real life interactions? Another major set back as been with amogging. I've tried several times to do this on my dad, for example, patting him on the back and calling him 'little buddy' but I don't think it makes anyone respect me more, in fact he seems like he's starting to get annoyed with the whole thing.

What you have to do is leave the house more often (like everyday).If you have AA towards girls then don't try your routines right away.First go out and talk normal to every girl you see. it does not matter who. after you get more confident then you can start trying your routiens.Also follow the 3 second rule.

Sounds like you lack a social life altogether. I suggest trying to build a circle of friends first, and then try to game some girls. Social anxiety is a difficult thing to get over, but it's like any other fear...you can desensitize yourself with gradual exposure to it.

Phobias have an extremely well established and successful SPAM method via Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Basically, the phobic person is taught to recognize the cycle of fear and how his phobia comes about. This is then followed by a systematic desenstization to the stimulus.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systematic_desensitization

Basically you will gradually increase your exposure to social situations, stopping at the point where it is uncomfortable, but not unbearable (remember there is a big difference)--followed by relaxation exercises to associate the stimulus with relaxation.


Once you have become more comfortable, set about building yourself a supportive and positive social circle. This is important because it will provide the people you can rely on and do things with. You can learn a lot from group interactions from your social circle as well.

Lastly, look at every social gathering you get into as a mini-field experiment. Try and recognize patterns in behaviors and test your theories--practice at least one thing every time you go out. Maybe you will learn about body language...start being aware of what other people's body language is. Gradually you will become aware of these little social cues consciously, and eventually they will become unconscious habits (scanning for body language, controlling the frame, etc.).

One site I recommend is http://www.succeedsocially.com. All free, and has some great tips on how to break out of your shell. I also recommend Goodbye to Shy by Leil Lowndes. It is absolute basics, but if you are really having trouble, it should help.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

I suggest you get the book "Awaken the Giant Within".


Here are some tips you need to follow:

1) Stop practicing on your family. Don't do it.
2) Get out and socialize. People will not bite you. Speak to any and everybody. The gas station clerk, the cashier at the grocery store, the person behind you in line. Doesn't matter what you talk about, just talk about anything. Weather/time/sports.


There is a guy we are working with right now who pretty much fit your same description. It's hard to change a person who's been like this his whole life, but he's made major strides. Most of this is inner game issues and lack of social contact.

If you don't get out now and do this, you will be doomed forever. I kid you not. I mean professionally and personally. It's key to be able to interact with other human beings and you need to get that concept down. You need to do that first and foremost.

It won't be long now.