hey guys. here's my situation. i've known this girl for a year, i worked with her and she was the first person i met there. we were really good friends, but after a year, i got fired. next thing i know, she calls me up and we hook up. she told me she likes staying this way with me and she acts like my girlfriend in public and everything. the only problem is that she has a boyfriend. it doesn't bother her at all, she says she still wants to be this way with me. the only problem is that they've been together for three years and sometimes when were at her place, her boyfriend will call her and we have to cut it short. in other words, it looks like she's now ready to give up on him, but they do have arguments every now and then that she tells me makes her cry. what can I do, if anything, to maybe make her see that her boyfriend is not right for her, that im really what she wants ? even if it takes a few weeks, im willing to do that u kno?

When I first met my ex (the longest and most important relationship I've had so far), she had a fella that she didnt really wanna be with any more (same situation as your girl, arguements etc). I had it extra tough because when she met him she was with another guy that she didnt want to be with, so by the time I came around she was all like "I just want a break from men". She's no slut, far from it. Its just that the guy she was with before me she was with for like 2 or 3 years, and the guy before that she was with for a year or 2. Anyway, I chased this girl for about 10 months, I was so loved up with her. But what I found worked for me was to send her a really sweet message when you know she could possibly be with her man. I did the whole romantic thing like cook her a nice dinner, buy her flowers, all that shit (probably kinda AFC shit but this was like 7 years ago when I didnt know about the game). But yeah amongst other things make sure you send a message so her man finds it. Let him know you're around through her. Make him feel jealous because that way, and this is exactly what happened with me, he went through her phone and found my messages and confronted her. The fact he went through her phone began a downward spiral of mistrust and made him question her all the time and invade her privacy, which in turn drove her away from him.
You've also gotta let her know she's got something better then her current guy (i.e you). Be spontanious, show her a good time, do things with her that her man isnt doing. Dont ever speak of him, if she talks about him in a bad way e.g. she says "we've been argueing again", ask her what about and what ever the answer is just frown as though it sounds radiculous and say "thats pathetic, I cant believe you're argueing about that". Make him look foolish. But dont stay on the subject long, put her in a negative mindset about her guy then change the subject so that she feels positive again and its because of you.

Some might disagree with all this. Its not a tactic, its just how I got with my ex.

I am sorry bro I have no clue what to do. I guess you have thought about the basic stuff like talk to her about it and convince her that she should brake up with him and come to you etc?

A friend has been in a similar situation, but that worked out by she figured out (with some help from friends etc) that she didn't love him and just was with him because he was in the military and cool and had money to buy her things and stuff.

I guess you could sabotage their relationship by telling him, but that would hurt your realtionship with the girl, so Don't go for that IMO.

You could game her so hard she gets so into you she wants to brake up with him, but it feels you already done that?

Maybe she is just afraid she will be alone if she brakes up with him, maybe tell her that you are there for her if she wants to do that etc? It is kinda hard to give advices with just knowing the situation based on 5 lines of text. I am just throwing you ideas that you then can disgard if you wish =)

Hope it works out the best for everybody though!

Aaah!! There is an increasing amount of bad advice being given on this forum!!

Whatever you do, DON'T TRY AND CONVINCE HER TO BREAK UP WITH HIM FOR YOU. That will only make her defensive of him and drive her away from you.

First things first. you say you two have hooked up. What EXACTLY do you mean by that. Are you sleeping with her? Have you even properly kissed her?

It sounds to me as though a lot of this might be a misunderstanding on your part as to what she wants....it's easy to misread the signs when you care about somebody a lot...

this is good, i've thought about trying this.
actually supa, did your girl live with her man? mine does... now that's a tough situation to work around, any advices?