| So last night I'm out at a salsa club. I'm macking on a hottie I met through friends months ago and who happened to wander into the club tonight throwing off massive IOIs. Can't stop sweating after all the dancing, so I leave her for a while and wander out onto the patio to attempt to stop sweating, but no dice, it's just as hot outside. Immediately run into this guy I know leaning on the railing. I sigh and inwardly roll my eyes, but what can I do, I have to talk to him. He's short and not all that great looking (a 5 or so) and gives off this kinda desperate, skeezy vibe. He's not my favorite person 'cause he tried repeatedly (with zero success) to swipe one of my pickups recently, but I talk to him anyway because right now I'd rather sweat outside than inside.
We make small talk for a coupla minutes. I try to hold an actual conversation with him, but he keeps getting ridiculously distracted and actually not hearing questions I'm asking him because he's salivating over every piece of tail in the joint. Each time I have to re-get his attention, he apologizes, grins nastily, shakes his head, and says he's distracted by all the fine women. I nod a little and agree or something. Two girls walk out, a blonde (9) and a brunette (7). They pass us without looking over, walk out to the very end of the patio, and sit down at a table fanning themselves and lighting cigarettes. He won't stop staring. Then he won't stop talking about them. I look to them. I look to him. I look to them. Back to him. I consider. I sigh a little. "Okay," I say, "Here's the thing. I'm already workin on two girls back inside and don't really have any interest here, but if you wanna talk to them I'll go over with you and help wing for a minute, then dip out." He said okay. I glanced back over at them, wondering how I'd open, and suddenly the Cupid Shuffle blared from inside. They leapt up and the brunette began trying to show the blonde, with no luck, how to do the steps. Fate had served them up on a platter. Game on.
I grab my glass and strut over (followed by skeezyguy), bursting with bravado, and cheerfully drop an immediate neg on both of them for their moves. Blondie explains that her friend's trying to teach her the dance. Brunette chirps that she saw me inside and I'm a great dancer ("Yes I am," I replied), and asked me to help show Blondie. I fold skeezyguy in, introducing him and saying that he's much a better dancer than I, and he'd probably show them better. But then he shrugs and says, "I don't know this dance." SIGH. Okay--so I walk them through it. Skeezyguy kinda is a better dancer than me in some ways...but ironically we do the Cupid Shuffle for like five minutes and he's the only one who can't seem to pick it up, so it's like big-time DLV right off the bat, meanwhile I'm running banter with them the whole time because he's not even talking.
Song ends, they sit back down, we lean on a table across from them, 'cause it's the only available seating. He whispered to me during the Shuffle lesson that the brunette was a really good dancer, so after the song I focused on Blondie so he could chat up Brunette. Except he's not saying much at all, and only really talks when I throw the focus over to him. And when I do that, he fumbles. They're barely looking at him; they're both talking to ME. I make my responses to Brunette as spare as possible and continue to focus on the hot blonde. She's wearing a short skirt and conspicuously crosses her leg, a phenomenal display of perfect flesh stretching all the way up her thigh and beyond. She grins at me a little. Okay, so I'm getting into it now. I neg her and then make her laugh, hard.
Brunette doesn't like that I'm ignoring her, and suddenly busts out with a long string of big IOIs one right after the other. "I'm sorry," she breaks in, "I never got your name." She holds out her hand and introduces herself. Her friend follows suit. (I'd specifically never asked their names because I thought Skeeze should and could at LEAST accomplish that much on his own.) I introduce myself, and Brunette shakes my hand very warmly and purrs, "It is a distinct pleasure to meet you." Lord, his target AND the friend are jumping me, and I'm TRYING to help him, and I'm really at a loss now. I turn and gesture to him and say, "I think I might've said already, can't remember, but this is _________." "Right, hi," they say, and shake his hand again. I should add that I also never once touched either of them because I didn't wanna start kino in a set I didn't plan to stay in.
He pipes up and tells Brunette she's a pretty good dancer and asks where she learned. She immediately turns to me and says, "THIS one's a great dancer! Where'd YOU learn?" Still at a loss, I answer her question. Skeeze asks her again. She answers him fully, but it's just an answer, nothing more. I turn to Blondie, an awful dancer for sure, and deadpan with total conviction, "And where'd you learn?" She bursts out laughing and says, "You know damn well I can't dance!" I said, "Well, yeah, but I thought I'd make you feel like part of the group. I try to be polite here and there." She laughed again. Brunette took a slow drag from her cigarette, leaned back, and looked me up and down. "You are too funny," she said very coolly, her lips curling at the ends. "I like you." I smirked and gave a shrug that said, 'Well, that was inevitable.' "I like me too," I said. The chick was gaming me! Blondie was trying to game me too but actually, amazingly enough, seemed a little intimidated and hung back occasionally. They asked lots of questions about me and volunteered lots of information. Then the brunette tilts her head and without the slightest bit of shame, goes, "So where's your girlfriend? ...Do you have one?" I was like aw, FUCK. I shrugged and said, "No...I'm seeing a few girls, but I don't have a girlfriend." She raised an eyebrow. "'Seeing a few girls?' Is that true?" "Yeah..." I said. "I'm a bit of a whore." She cackled and hi-fived me. "Yay for whoring?" I asked. The blonde looked scandalized. I quickly said, "I was calling myself a whore, not her!" and she laughed.
My goal had been to walk over, break the ice with good cheer, pull a "Have you met Ted," fold him into the set, then dip and get back to my inside game, but he'd said like six words to them in ten or fifteen minutes and they were both focusing on me, and because the responsibility for keeping everything in the air had now fallen entirely on me, I couldn't leave or he'd just be standing there like an idiot. I quickly weighed my options and, realizing he was never gonna step up, I broke a rule and switched to the brunette, what the hell. I don't think Blondie's at ALL used to being ignored, and now she was being actively ignored by two guys at the same time, one with major DHV and even one who seemed quietly desperate. Normally I would've stuck with the blonde, but I was more interested in a dance partner at the time.
Brunette and I got a lot of back-and-forth in but suddenly my favorite song came on and I jumped to my feet and said my song was on and I had to run. Brunette leapt up too and said, "OMG, this is MY song!" I said "Come on!" and we both dashed for the door. Somehow another guy (doesn't pick girls up really, just loves to dance) intercepted her along the way, which he's done to me several times and REALLY pissed me off that time. So yeah, the set broke up very suddenly, but I didn't really care. The smart thing, I now realize, would've been to go back for one-on-one with the blonde, since Skeeze faded off someplace else, but I was more concerned with finding a partner for the song and was okay with letting the set go.
Found my original target outside smoking, so she wasn't available to dance at the moment. Eventually grabbed another friend, which was cool since the target came in, saw me getting down, and was very impressed. Unfortunately before I was able to get to her again some other guy came up and locked her for the rest of the night. Oh well, I had her going earlier in the night and I know she wants to see me again. The guy who locked her kissed her hand in this really creepy way when she left lol...gotta remember never to do that.
Tail-end of the night, Blonde and Brunette pass me at the bar. "I thought you left," I said. "We thought YOU left," they say. "You owe me a dance," I tell Brunette. "Deal," she says, and we approach the floor. The DJ announces it's the last song of the night. Before I know it, Skeeze has beelined up to us and grabbed Brunette's hand. "Er," I say, intervening, "we're about to dance." She looks at me, then back to him, and nods. "Oh," he says, and turns with resignation to the blonde, whose face withers. Blondie actually looks at me, stamps her little foot and pouts! "Aww! You know, I'm not THAT bad, you don't have to run from me," she yells at me, tousling her hair a little. Sexy as hell...I coulda torn her apart right there. Again, hindsight, I realize I should've appeared to be very kind and gracious by passing Brunette over to Skeeze (knowing full well I could've gotten her number anyway after the music ended) and macked on Blondie, who was obviously dying for me to touch her. But as I was only half-invested in the whole deal anyway and mostly just wanted to dance at the time, I kept Brunette and left Skeeze, somewhat as a punishment for wasting so much of my time and being a doof, to struggle with Blondie for the last song.
When the lights came up, I number-closed Brunette while Blondie smoldered nearby. Skeeze didn't even make an effort with her, but she didn't seem to like him much anyway. He stood by me smiling way too big while I said good night to them. Brunette hugged me, kissed my cheek, and said again that it was a distinct pleasure. I went to shake Blondie's hand and she went in for a very tight hug and a much wetter kiss and said she hoped to see me again. As soon as they left, Skeeze turned to me with that shit-eating grin, elbowed me, chuckled, and said, "Hahahaha hey, I gotta get that number, man!" He said it as if it were a joke, but I knew he wasn't kidding. Yeah, right. I turned and walked away.
Now, yes, I *did* end up getting something out of this (potentially two somethings--they're basically in town for three weeks and want to have a REALLY good time before they go...I mean, hallelujah much??), but I also lost a LOT of game time with my hot original target, whom I've wanted for months and was finally showing lots of interest, all because I was trying to help this guy who's always trying to pick up chicks but turned out to be a complete buffoon about it.
Is there a way to either A) really help out more, or B) get out of it more easily when you pull an impromptu wing session and realize the other guy is a total fuck-up and you're just wasting time?
Last edited by Goldeneye on Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:39 am, edited 4 times in total.
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CHAT
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