Hey, this gonna be a hell of a long and I would appreaciate it if you would read it all through.

I'm 14 years old and I'm from Sweden. I live in a small place, not as small where everyone knows everyone, but fairly small. About 7-8.000 people lives here, I think.

I'm gonna' be straight with you all now. I SUCK at meeting girls. I suck at talking to girls. I suck at everything you can suck at when it comes to girls. No, sorry, I'm lying. I suck at everything that I DON'T want to suck when it comes to girls.

I'm not ugly. I'm good looking, I've got good hygiene and I'm eating healthy. I'm good at sports [brag ] and I'm actually in a talent competition with young footballers(soccer, americans)[/brag ] and I'm decent on alot of other sports that contains a ball too. What I fail at is communication though. Not just with girls, but with everyone.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome which basically make you are useless at social interactions, if I understand it all right. I guess there is some on this forum diagnosed with this aswell, and if I get some comments of them that would be great.

I read alot of the posts of these forums and I must admit alot of it was really great information. I also watched a couple of videos posted here on the forums.

So I decided today to go to a friend that lives about 20-30 minutes on the way, and asking every bypassing person what the time was. I did this tapping thing I saw on a video last night. I got no idea if it's all fake or if it's working, but whatever, I just did it. I felt all good but just when I got out of the door I felt... shit... Yeah, shit. I felt SHIT because I can't ask humans what the time is. That's pathetic. Yes, that's easy to say now, when I'm sitting here hid behind the computer where no-one expect people across the globe can see what I'm writing.

I have a problem with stutter. Actually I don't know if it's a stutter, I know EXACTLY what to say, and I have repeated it for myself alot of times before. I can feel that I can't say something before I've said it. It's like my mouth stops working. Nothing comes out of it. Anyway, I walked past this construction-bulding-thing and saw this man wearing these stuff you put over your ears to protect them from loud noises, these kinda put me off a bit. I was thinking "maybe if he doesn't hear me..." and then woops I got this feeling again, my mouth just stopped, I could feel that I couldn't say what I wanted to say, even though it was only "Hi, do you know what the time is?" So I bailed out, I just walked past him. What a fucking coward you are, I said to myself. I continued walking and saw I was walking towards this girl I remember going to school with when I was about 7-8, speaking your language perhaps she's a HB7, quite popular, I think. When I saw her, I felt yeah this is the perfect test, I'm gonna' ask her. If I could turn off my head for 5 seconds, this would be the time, because the time it took for me to reach her and for her to reach me was about 5-10 seconds. And by that time my head had already said "no, what if you fuck up and start stuttering, you will be laughed at by all of her friends".

Yeah, besides that I will start in her school after the summer. That's a little reason why I'm posting here. I want to make a good impression in that school, since I've fucked up in all other schools.

Going back to what I was writing about though, I bailed out this one too, and walked past her, I glanced at her while doing so and I could see she was looking back aswell. Walking abit more I came into a forrest, I saw a man walking with a dog and decided to ask him. This time I did it (yay, i managed to speak to another human being, i'm cool, k) "Hi, d-do you know what the time is?" He replied and I said "Okay, thanks". The next person I walked past was also a man, I managed to ask him the same question, "Hey, do you know what the time is?" He replied and I replied back.

So I guess I was okay in the end, I spoke to 2 more than I would have done normally. I'm not happy with myself though, I should have done more. I feel now though that I probably went a little too fast forward, I went from 0 to 2. 0 being speaking nothing to 2 being saying "Hi, do you know what the time is?" I should have gone from 0 to 1. 1 being just "Hi". That's what I am planning tommorow. I will say "Hi" to every person I bypass.

Summing up a bit I just want to tell you that I don't want to be this guy that gets all the girls. Sure, I would like to have alot of girls, but I feel that right now that this step is too far. In this new school I would just like to be accepted and be an okay guy, I don't want to be any extra than the other guys in school. I just want to be able to have a conversation with a female without feeling that I'm just speaking to her because the end though is that want to be her boyfriend, that just makes me nervous.

Around my male friends I'm alright. I usally get the others to laugh. Sometimes it feels like I'm speaking to much though. I don't know why, it's just weird feeling.

You can laugh your asses of how much you want, seriously I do not care. The reason I'm posting this here is because I would never be able to say this to anyone I know in real life. I know that here someone will always read it and that I'm probably also gonna get a reply aswell, hopefully one that would help me.

Summing up(2) I want to know how to act and what to do in this new school I will go to. How I will act when I enter the class room for the first time, etc etc. What to do if I see a girl by her locker? Should I try to make contact, etc. Everything would be helpfull information.

Yeah, if you managed to read through all this WALL of text and reply... I'd be very happy.

// Lopezzz

You're already aknowledging it, you'e half way there
1. You're Sweedish!
2. Just 'brag` like you've done on here

Yeah, I guess I'll get alot of girls if I keep on going with the football and get to be a professional player...

^^

Hey man! you need start thinking more positively. I have a stutter too. It only comes out when I'm nervous. I have found though that if I give myself positive reinforcement before hand I do a lot better.

For example, I used to hate speaking in class. I would usually never raise my hand, and then when I did have to speak I would always think "don't stutter, you're going to stutter, don't do it." And lo and behold, I stuttered.

Now, I think positively before I speak. I tell myself "I'm a fluent speaker. I speak fluently and effectively infront of large audiences." And I fare a lot better. A LOT better. I can now say my name, and I usually volunteer more when I'm in class.

So the moral of the story is. Think positively! Your subconscious brain does not process a negetive. So you have to tell it positive things so it knows what to do.

_________________
Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

Check out the thread in my signature below.

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

Thanks for the replies.

I got another question.
When I'm just walking and I see a pretty girl and I will walk past her I would know how I shall look, what I shall look like, how I should walk etc etc. I don't need / want to start a conversation with her.

Right now I'm just not looking at her and walking past her ignoring her.

i was a failure myself
welcome.


your not the worst guy around. your quite lucky

some people are ugly, some people have no athletic talent. some people have things they can never change. there are some deaf puas around.

just as the phrase "there is always someone better than you" there is, "there is always someone worser than you"

im not saying that you said your the worsest.


as for your questoins.
it seems you just want to be known to the school as a new kid who is average.
if your in middle school, people will be concerned on who you are.
if your in highschool. most wont care.

make friends with everyone in your classes.
talk to every person, preferably the ones who arent popular.
youll end up making friends and they will talk to you.

and for passing a girl walking by
have a strong posture
give a posture saying "i dont care what your thinking about me"
back straight, walk slower.

if she looks at you, say hi
she might say hi back, then it ends there.

Thanks, those words are really motivating. I'm not shy on the football pitch you know, the football pitch feels like my home. I'd like to have everything outside the pitch feel as my home too.

I read somewhere "everyone is just a guest in your world" somewhere, a quote. It's really helpful. I think I'll work from there. Everyone is in my HOME. You should be looking UP to me. I'm God.

Ok I'm overexaggerating.

But you get the point.

Should I look at the girl at all? Or should I just look at something in the distance and give this posture? If I can see through the side of my eye that she's looking at me, should I then look at her and say "hi"? It can feel a bit awkward I think just to watch around, then suddenly just turning to her saying hi, since I've acted like I have ignored her before.

Dude i stutter when i get nervous too, its no big deal! What have learnt is if im stuttering or i get tounge tied i just pause, take a breath and continue..... When you pause it will feel like ages but its really only like a second. In regards to what you just told us about your sport etc that is perfect DHV material! In reagards to eye contact, you should always hold eye contact as it shows confidence.... If you feel awkward looking at her eyes look at her forehead.

I haven't got a problem with looking people in the eyes when I'm talking to them.

Sorry i misread your post.

No problem. The first bit of your post was good information. Pause a second then continue speaking.

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