Trouble getting laid once she's back at my place



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:56 am 
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I reached new lows, or perhaps new highs, recently and put my past year's dating life into a spread sheet. I learned a lot, chief among them is that I didn't bang 55% of chicks who went back to my apartment on the 1st date. Of that 55%, 40% of them were literally laying on my bed (clothed) and watching netflix with me.

Of course, women aren't always gonna want to screw on the 1st date. Sometimes they really try to not screw for the pure reason that they see potential in me as a long term relationship. But isn't my failure rate kind of high, considering they were back at my place and all? What can I do to get my first date lay rate up?

Here's my over all strategy once she's back at my place: If there's a lot of tension on the date, I will just start making out with her as soon as we're in my apartment. If there's not that much tension, then I bring out the wine and power up netflix. Work some kino in, make out with her, see if things escalate. If not, there's always next time. Am I missing anything here?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:36 pm 
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Hey, firstly, this is a sticking point :)
Quote:
Of that 55%, 40% of them were literally laying on my bed (clothed) and watching netflix with me.
They are waiting for you to do something.
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Of course, women aren't always gonna want to screw on the 1st date.
Only if you make them feel like it's a bad thing.

Or they have their period.
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Sometimes they really try to not screw for the pure reason that they see potential in me as a long term relationship.
The last two serious girlfriends I had couldn't wait to fuck my brains out, both on the first date.

This is something women who fuck around a lot say when they meet a guy who seems nice, cause they are used to one night stands and think if they fuck him to quick he will run away.

Going into this with a mindset of "I want a relationship", very common in the online dating world, is a recipe for pain. An exclusive loving relationship is something that grows organically, mutually and slowly, not something you peg on a guy or girl after one date. (As I'm learning from Arch lately in his replies)
Quote:
But isn't my failure rate kind of high, considering they were back at my place and all? What can I do to get my first date lay rate up?
Yes. Anything other than sitting and watching Netflix and waiting for something to happen.

If all else fails: naked man.
Quote:
Here's my over all strategy once she's back at my place: If there's a lot of tension on the date, I will just start making out with her as soon as we're in my apartment. If there's not that much tension, then I bring out the wine and power up netflix. Work some kino in, make out with her, see if things escalate.
I'm gonna hazard a guess that the ones that you go at it with when you arrive are in the 45% of girls you sleep with. So build more tension with them before you bring them back.

Wine is fine. Why are you watching television? What does TV make you want to do? Sleeeeeeeeeep. It also distracts the focus from you, we, us to the TV. You will talk less and have less connection. It's also boring as fuck. Make a movie, don't watch one (and I'm not saying a porno!) just make her night fun so she wants to come back.
Quote:
If not, there's always next time. Am I missing anything here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BTeWyRTF60


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 3:43 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Of that 55%, 40% of them were literally laying on my bed (clothed) and watching netflix with me.
They are waiting for you to do something.
I assure you, my failure with those ones is not for lack of effort. If we end up clothed and watching netflix, I always try escalating. Kissing and/or carressing didn't lead to anything with them.
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Sometimes they really try to not screw for the pure reason that they see potential in me as a long term relationship.
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The last two serious girlfriends I had couldn't wait to fuck my brains out, both on the first date.
This is a good point because it also applies to me. Could be that the 55% I fail with just aren't that into me in the first place.
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But isn't my failure rate kind of high, considering they were back at my place and all? What can I do to get my first date lay rate up?
Quote:
Yes. Anything other than sitting and watching Netflix and waiting for something to happen.

If all else fails: naked man.
What are some examples of "anything other than sitting and watching netflix"? And what do you mean by "naked man"?
Quote:
Here's my over all strategy once she's back at my place: If there's a lot of tension on the date, I will just start making out with her as soon as we're in my apartment. If there's not that much tension, then I bring out the wine and power up netflix. Work some kino in, make out with her, see if things escalate.
Quote:
I'm gonna hazard a guess that the ones that you go at it with when you arrive are in the 45% of girls you sleep with. So build more tension with them before you bring them back.

Wine is fine. Why are you watching television? What does TV make you want to do? Sleeeeeeeeeep. It also distracts the focus from you, we, us to the TV. You will talk less and have less connection. It's also boring as fuck. Make a movie, don't watch one (and I'm not saying a porno!) just make her night fun so she wants to come back.
Right, so tv is bad, and I should make a movie? You mean just pull out my phone and start recording her? My ex used to do that to me and I would get annoyed lol. Any other ideas?
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If not, there's always next time. Am I missing anything here?
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lol nice vid


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:42 pm 
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Going into this with a mindset of "I want a relationship", very common in the online dating world, is a recipe for pain.
lol! spot on.
Quote:
An exclusive loving relationship is something that grows organically, mutually and slowly, not something you peg on a guy or girl after one date. (As I'm learning from Arch lately in his replies)
Yes, exactly. This is how socially valuable people operate in early courtship. Most men don't get it, because they don't have the abundance of most women.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:48 pm 
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Of course, women aren't always gonna want to screw on the 1st date. Sometimes they really try to not screw for the pure reason that they see potential in me as a long term relationship.
Nope.

I was staying at a hotel when I met my current gf (just moved into town). Hung with her at a bar for 45 minutes on our first date, then invited her back. We didn't have intercourse, but she did go down on me.

It's been almost two years now with her, which has been a blast.

My longest relationships all came from first date sex.


Quote:
Here's my over all strategy once she's back at my place: If there's a lot of tension on the date, I will just start making out with her as soon as we're in my apartment.
Nice.

Quote:
If there's not that much tension, then I bring out the wine and power up netflix. Work some kino in, make out with her, see if things escalate. If not, there's always next time. Am I missing anything here?

I wouldn't worry about the pre-kiss KINO. Hand holding, arm around the shoulder is relationship KINO. And it has the high odds of being awkward because of that.

I'm really big on being congruent with your desires. You don't want to watch a movie with her, you want her in bed. So why bullshit yourself, and her? Get inside your place, offer a drink, and then just go for the kiss. Don't even turn on the TV.

also, how's your gym/weights game?

Studies indicate muscular men have higher chances of first night sex:

http://elliotthulse.com/average-guys-bu ... uscle-sex/
Quote:
The research by Frederick et al shows that guys with the right muscular build get more girls, they have more one night stand’s, and they even have sex with more women that are currently in relationships with other guys.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:41 am 
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The research by Frederick et al shows that guys with the right muscular build get more girls, they have more one-night stand’s, and they even have sex with more women that are currently in relationships with other guys.

Can't we just say this is optional? I am thin and don't really have an issue with one night stands. Muscles don't hurt but send the wrong message to newbies who will think it is a requirement. Not saying I disagree as I am restarting the gym myself (for health reasons). Just my two cents.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:45 am 
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The research by Frederick et al shows that guys with the right muscular build get more girls, they have more one-night stand’s, and they even have sex with more women that are currently in relationships with other guys.
Can't we just say this is optional? I am thin and don't really have an issue with one night stands. Muscles don't hurt but send the wrong message to newbies who will think it is a requirement. Not saying I disagree as I am restarting the gym myself (for health reasons). Just my two cents.



As for the OP, ditch the Netflix. Invest in other things that require some kind of mental stimulation. Unless the girl is clearly DTF, I wouldn't bother laying down until I know it is time. I usually start making out in the living room and then transition it to the bedroom. I know when it is the time when she starts moaning. I can then say, let's go somewhere more comfortable. By this time she is horny and I don't get the LMR. All they say is let me head to the bathroom and when she comes back, I look at her and turn off the lights.

She knows what is up by then.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:36 am 
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Can't we just say this is optional? I am thin and don't really have an issue with one night stands.

Sure, everything is optional. Exercise is optional to the fat slobs who will never see another beautiful woman kiss them after high school.

Quote:

Muscles don't hurt but send the wrong message to newbies who will think it is a requirement. Not saying I disagree as I am restarting the gym myself (for health reasons). Just my two cents.
It's not required at all. As a man, you should do what makes you happy. However, I have been the thin track runner, and the bigger muscular guy, and chunky for a year (lol).

I got laid a lot as the thin guy with beautiful women. I get laid a lot as the muscular guy with beautiful women. I banged 5's when I was fat for a year.

But the science, and my experience indicates that first night sex odds rise when you are muscular, as the study indicates. The OP asked why his "same night" sex numbers aren't as good as he wants, and the muscle study is a helpful tool for him to look at, just in case.

Also, as you get more fit, the women will do more and more of the approaching.

When you get a moment, peruse youtube and watch the skinny/chicken armed pickup artists yapping like hens to the girls they're trying to seduce. They look like court jesters trying to please the queen.

When you reach a certain level of fitness and emotional-centeredness, that GOES AWAY. The women do that TO YOU.

Bottom line, do what works for you, and don't feel bad about not being 100% in all areas. but remember, when you make incremental improvements in all facets of your life, you become more socially valuable.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:55 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Can't we just say this is optional? I am thin and don't really have an issue with one night stands.

Sure, everything is optional. Exercise is optional to the fat slobs who will never see another beautiful woman kiss them after high school.

Quote:

Muscles don't hurt but send the wrong message to newbies who will think it is a requirement. Not saying I disagree as I am restarting the gym myself (for health reasons). Just my two cents.
It's not required at all. As a man, you should do what makes you happy. However, I have been the thin track runner, and the bigger muscular guy, and chunky for a year (lol).

I got laid a lot as the thin guy with beautiful women. I get laid a lot as the muscular guy with beautiful women. I banged 5's when I was fat for a year.

But the science, and my experience indicates that first night sex odds rise when you are muscular, as the study indicates. The OP asked why his "same night" sex numbers aren't as good as he wants, and the muscle study is a helpful tool for him to look at, just in case.

Also, as you get more fit, the women will do more and more of the approaching.

When you get a moment, peruse youtube and watch the skinny/chicken armed pickup artists yapping like hens to the girls they're trying to seduce. They look like court jesters trying to please the queen.

When you reach a certain level of fitness and emotional-centeredness, that GOES AWAY. The women do that TO YOU.

Bottom line, do what works for you, and don't feel bad about not being 100% in all areas. but remember, when you make incremental improvements in all facets of your life, you become more socially valuable.
But the Gym and being in shape is largely down to self esteem, which comes with being happy with the way you look and feel. The muscle thing helps yes, but not going to matter a jot if you are in a bad state of mind.


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