Hey
There is this really fascinating woman I added on facebook 1 year ago but then forgot about. She lives in a city 5 hours away from me. She is very beautiful and looks like some kind of modern ninja being into both art/photography, yoga and martial arts. Became aware of her again today, but instead of trying to chat with her I wanted to ask you guys first on any tips on how to develop a connection with her that would eventually lead to a meeting?

In all my experience this is a lost cause... have you actually met her in person?

Even when you have a lot going for you 5 hours is so far away... How logistically are you going to be able to see her?

Also, esp if she is attractive, attempting to court over facebook is going to be hard. Any decent looking woman gets absolutely blown up on social media accounts. I'm talking like, so many messages they will barely see you unless you stand so far out from everyone else (like drive a Ferrari, or are a medical doctor).

You can certainly try, but you really have to stand out somehow. Are you into martial arts photography or yoga?

Never met her in person. But, I'm a yoga teacher myself. I also have some albums on facebook where I publish artistic photo's and drawings I do. I was a buddhist meditation monk for 2 years, and now I'm studying gestalttherapy, so I identify with her "ninja artistic" vibe. Perhaps just try to strike up a conversation with her on some of these topics?

What about something along these lines "Hey, you seem like a really fascinating character, and I really admire your sense of aestetics, can I show you some of my art from my instagram account and get your opinion?"

Or, "wow, you look like a similar type of person as my self, what is your discipline and spiritual orientation? I was a buddhist meditation monk but then blablablabla......"

Yes, those are interesting ins rather than "hey you're cute"

See if you get a response with either of those, build rapport, then try to get a meet!

Jesus christ.

Instead of stalking Facebook unicorns in different zip codes, go to a bar and pick up a six and get the "I haven't been laid in a while" smell off you, and then game other women.

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Is it easier to pick up less attractive women in your opinion? I know landwhales will settle for most guys, but a six may still have options.

Yes.

And I have literally heard attractive women talk about the "he hasn't got laid in a long time" smell/vibe on guys who haven't gotten laid in a long time, lol. I've noticed it too-it's this uptight, nice-guy quiet air of desperation.

The OP is much better served getting his ass outside to a bar or someplace else, meeting a woman he can actually seduce, and get that desperate vibe off him. Because yeah, chasing a Facebook stranger who lives five hours away means you aren't getting laid on the regular.

a man uses these experiences to improve his mental and physical game, to the point he has options, creates abundance, and doesn't have to chase women outside his zip code.

Men who get laid don't need to drive out of their county to have sex with women.

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But she could be 'the one'

Hehe....

Getting laid isn't my problem. Well, it has been 13 months since last time. I could get laid yesterday with a six, but didn't feel fair since she is an old friend. But whether or not I've been in a period of frequently getting laid or not, the problem has remained the same: oneitis and friendzone with the women that I actually genuinely like.

But it happens pretty often that I get a crush on someone, so fortunately it will only take one woman to break that spell. And usually, at least to me it seems, that that chemistry causing the crush in me is something that is mutual between us, it is in the air between us, but then I become so thrown of balance by the emotions it stirs up in me, so I become the underdog and she loose her attraction for me and I end up in friendzone.

Yes, getting laid IS your problem, or you wouldn't be trying to pick up women out of your zip code, or on Facebook.

A man with abundance does not need to drive out of his county to get laid, lol.


Yeah, I could smell this shit on you from your first post, my friend. And I gave you the advice I did because that's what it's going to take.
Yep! I talk a lot about how important it is for a man to remain emotionally-centered. This is comprised of over-texting, over-contact in general, hyper, un-confident voice, fidgety posture, etc.

Here's the thing: the more you learn to control your emotions, the better you get with women. when you combine being an emotionally-centered, chill, fun man with fitness, cool hobbies, career goals, and a kick ass work ethic in the bedroom, women will never dump you.

But in order for you to get there, you need EXPERIENCE with women. 6's or not. Hook up with 6's. Hit the gym like a son of a bitch. Work on your career goals. Get that "I get fucked a lot" vibe on you, and eventually, when you do hook up wit ha 9/10, you'll be fit, great in bed and centered. And she won't bail on you.

Watch movies with Clint Eastwood, or Californication on Netflix (Hank Moody). These dudes...they're just doing their own thing, like bull elk. Clint has girls in his apartment building just knocking on his door. Women just come right up to Hank. This is my life, man. Build that presence, that mental demeanor, along with physicality.

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

You can control your emotions. Walk outside and get laid.

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These hos ain't loyal

Sounds fun! Career goals, fitness and cool hobbies are in place. Sexual skills are not so bad, either. My ex and I used to practice tantric love-making a lot, and did a few workshops together with some famous tantra teachers, and I have had two more tantric lovers since we broke up. However, attracting and seducing new women is a huge problem, even though I'm a very social guy. Or actually attracting doesn't seem to be so much a problem either, but it is the seducing part that is the HUUUUGE problem. For now I say as they say in AA admitting you have a problem is first step And yeah, it will probably take some work to get this to flow again, but a lot of other things in my life is falling into place so I also hope for some synergetic effect now that career goals and purpose has been getting clearer.

Nice.

the thing about sex is, you're only as good as how much you do it. It has to be once a week to keep those skills sharp.
I read this as you talk too much. Just a vibe.

I get it. The women like you, but you freeze up or lose focus during the seduction attempts. This is where you have to worry less about what to say, and just say what you're thinking.

I went to a bar the other night to watch a Cubs game. A ridiculously hot bartender I've flirted with before is working. She's pouring a beer from a tap, has her back to me, then twists her head and smiles at me and says "hi" way over the top, lol, while her ass is facing me. She had her hair braided, too.

What was I thinking in that moment? How bad I wanted her.

So what do I do? Do I sit there and think, "how can I impress this woman?" "What is my strategy for her?" "What can I do to make her like me?"

No. I'm just congruent with my desires.

When some of the customers clear out, I say "hey, how are things?". She says "awesome!" While making long, direct eye contact and blushing. She's also playing with one of her braids. She says she's been taking classes again. I ask her if she's still seeing a guy she'd been with. She says "yeah, we're getting married in five months." I say "too bad".

her jaw drops, and her face turns red.

While I knocked her off the pedestal, I say "call me if it doesn't work out."

She just says "Arch....fuck."

You don't need to play 12 dimensional chess, man. What you're thinking, right then and there is the shocking, playful honesty that accelerates seduction. You're both adults. Get to the point in a fun, playful way that builds tension.


Yes, synergistic effect is awesome.

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Totally! Then I get sucked into intellectually stimulating conversation, talk waaaaay too much, and forget all about seduction. It is like the comfort of bonding with a woman I like makes me temporarily forget I actually had great attraction for her. There is a lot of psychological shit there as to why revealing my sexual interest in her seems so frightening to me, but I'm working at it from a lot of different angels now.