Met this chic seemed to hit it off well we talk in person every now and then and make a lot of physical contact, hugging, toucbing, so I decided to ask her out.

She said yes and she answered the phone to confirm an hour before we were supposed to go out last niggt fhat we're still going out.

Then when it was time to meet up she didnt answer the phone and flaked.

I wasnt going to text her the next day i was going to cut my losses and move onbut I seconded guess my gut and texted her.

I texted her late the next day around 2pm and told her i just woke up how was her night. And she immediately replied back and said sorry about last night she was in the shower.

At this point i wasnt going to reply but i did again lol. I told her it was cool she didnt need to explain herself and again she immediately replied and told me she just wanted to make sure i know. I just said I appreciate it and left it at that.

Thoughts?

GFTOW

Ouch.

Have some respect for yourself.

LOL.
Send this right now:

You: "Hey, I just got a really nice bonus check from work. I'm looking to spend some cash. Let's hit up (insert name of fancy, most expensive restaurant in town here) and then do some shopping. Wednesday at 7."

Call to confirm one hour before, then never show.

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Lol I actually did somethi ng like that once to a chic that was an hour away. But only cause she was after my money and she was just shady overall.

Im going to continue talking to this girl but im going to see another girl that I already lay with now tonight.

Did you miss the part where Arch said don't show up? I find that to be petty, especially for someone who keeps referring to himself as a bull elk, but that's just me.

The bull elk always has time for immature pettiness.

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It's a tactic.

See other women though, of course.

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Usually tactics have a goal. What does this tactic attempt to accomplish outside of revenge for her flaking?

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It's to educate, I know where Arch is coming from. It's setting a tone of "Don't fuck me around, or I will fuck you around". Some women do what this chic did to test compliance to see how a guy reacts. Similar to ignoring a chick for a while because they wernt dancing to your beat, then they hit you up a month or so later when you refuse to play their silly games. It shows you're not a push over and trying to walk all over you has concequences. Some chicks love this and then will start chasing and dancing to your beat.

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What was the actual date supposed to be, and how was it set up? I ask because it sounds like you didnt make firm plans and prob did a "tag along" or "I'm going to X, you should come" "date" invite. If you make FIRM actual date plans, you dont ask her 2pm the next day after she set you up, "how was your night." Same way a job interviewer isnt going to hit you up the next day after missing your interview asking "how was your day." And "I was in the shower" doesnt sound like a chick giving you a reason for a legit date flake. If it was a legit clear date she flaked on, either next her or give another go. But this "act like she didnt flake" thing just always sounds silly. If you're going to contact a chick after she wastes your time, dont pretend like your time wasnt wasted. If you're direct with the date invite, be direct with the flake.

As to the revenge stuff, I dont see point in that either. She flakes on you, you flake on her. Now neither of you are going to trust the other will show up. Maybe if someone can say the next step to have the actual date it would make sense, but until then I have no idea what this does.

You see how this is all bullshit, right? Once the establishment of playing games begins, there is no end. A chick that hits you up a month later after you played games with her is going to continue to play games with you. Plus, you are putting the way a man thinks on a woman. "There, I've shown her by playing her game and now she will never do it again." No, women will adapt to the man. If he refuses to play games, she will either move on or conform to his lead.

To say that a woman will hit you up later because you did this is reaching. I've been flaked on, never reached out to the girl afterwards and have been hit up later. I can easily say that women love it when a man doesn't chase her and causes her to chase instead. Or I can say that a woman will see that I don't play games and looks at me as being more attractive than the other guys out there. Or it can be a lot more simple than those two reaches...she just thought about me and in that moment contacted me again. It's not that I had done some silly tactic outside of presenting myself well.

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Disagree. Early courtship is fun, and often full of games. That doesn't mean it can't change.

If you're seeing other women, it's not a problem. And if she's hitting you back, she's probably coming over.

[/quote]
Plus, you are putting the way a man thinks on a woman. "There, I've shown her by playing her game and now she will never do it again." No, women will adapt to the man. If he refuses to play games, she will either move on or conform to his lead. [/quote]

Remember, he hasn't slept with her or had any physical contact. This has to be established before she adapts. The goal is to have great sex. she'll follow after that if you're not a nut job.
This is true, too. But this woman's excuse was especially lame, lol.

It is silly, But it's also fun. This isn't life and death. Games are part of early courtship. Some women are divas, and this works on them. Others it won't.

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Early courtship is fun but that doesn't mean it has to be full of games. The problem that you are creating here is advocating games now but planning to stop them in the future. Most guys lose their women early on because they aren't consistent. If you allow a girl to flake on you but act okay with it now...in the future when she flakes on you and things are serious, you've all of a sudden become controlling (from most women's point of view) and you've changed. You used to be fun but now you're not. It is a problem but you just can't see it because you have an "appease her early on or she'll run" mentality.If she's not adapting before she's only attracted to the physical at most. If you're likable she's going to adapt to you before that.Doesn't mean you need to respond to the excuse, or even worse, start doing petty shit. If a girl flakes on you and you don't reach out to her afterwards, she's going to know why. If she flakes and you do some petty shit, she's going to know why and it's more likely she's going to hold it against you in the future than it is for her to be attracted to you because you set a tone of "don't fuck around" by inviting her out and then flaking on her.If it's fun to you, I suppose but you quoted Pilgrim's answer on why you do this and it doesn't match as fun but as to more proving a point to her. Now that you admit that the response is silly, you justify it by saying it's fun. It's a petty revenge tactic and you were advising the OP to just get back at her. Some guys like shit like that, but it's a waste of time.

I do different things for fun that don't require getting back at a woman for shit women do. And again, just because a woman is a diva it doesn't mean that this is a technique for divas. It's more of a reason for her to persist in trying to stay a diva.

I have women that try immature games with me all of the time. I don't give them the time of day once it becomes apparent. I even tell them that I don't play games afterwards and experience has taught me that they conform. You should know this better than anyone, Arch, since you're older. A woman will try to live up to you when she respects you as a man. If you are playing games that women play she will respect you less as a man. It's a simple masculine/feminine roles.

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Nah. Women don't even remember that shit early on. They are very much masters of the moment...which is why guys who get hung up on small details get labeled as neurotic and dumped.



How is this a problem?


I think that takes a little time.

This is true. But in this particular case, I know the type. And it can be fun. Her "I was in the shower" answer was absurd, lol.


All depends on the girl. And a girl who says "sorry, I was in the shower" after blowing off a date is the type of girl this works on.

Is the OP better off just ignoring her and meeting other women? Probably. But he has nothing to lose at this point. Why not keep bouncing numbers?



It depends on the woman. It's not revenge, it's setting a new tone. I do not recommend it most of the time. But in this instance, I do.
That's awkward.

When a woman tells me that, I run away. It's usually because she wants to get married right away, and has been recently dumped or blown off.

that's true.

I disagree. Most women I've been with have looked at the early courtship maneuvers as me simply having higher standards than the men they usually date. And eventually, they admire it.

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