I recently met a girl through some mutual friends and acquaintances. Needless to say, she's the queen bee of the group and is usually the center of attention. We initially hit it off pretty well, she gave me her number and we've been texting on and off over the last couple of days. She's pretty sarcastic in person and there's a lot of teasing when we're talking in person.

However, I might have been too sarcastic and negged her a bit too much and made her quite angry. Our initial texts were super sarcastic and funny but here's the excerpt of our last few texts.

Her: Can't find you on Instagram!
Me: Good luck finding me.
[A few hours later]
Her: Add me on Insta!!
Me: Wow it took you 8 hours of you stalking me and you still can't find my Instagram.
Me: I'm actually thinking about whether I'm out of your league or not and idk if I want to add you.
[I should have added a "haha" to show objective sarcasm but was too busy with work]
Her: I just want to tag you in some pics smh.
[Assumed she was being sarcastic with the "smh"]
Me: Ok that's good because I don't like being tagged.
[A few hours later/after work]
Me: What's your instagram?
Her: FIND OUT! :angry face:

My idea now is just to say that I was being sarcastic and ask her to send me her Instagram link. Since she's the queen bee of a social group which I enjoy being apart of, I'd like to limit damage and get back to a more fun vibe. Any advice?

Sounds like she flipped your own shit on you and beat you alpha female to alpha male.

You should've just gave her the instagram when she asked she clearly had interest in you. If she is as Queen Bee as you said. If you wanted to throw in one neg fine , but give her the instagram.

She has options and you haven't conveyed enough to get her to Chase.

Next step is waiting a bit and give her your instagram followed by a quirky line.

Then wait it out a bit.

How about freezing her out for a bit since I don't want to enable this sort of behavior? I can easily call her out, tease her for being angry over nothing and add her, but I don't like being bossed around.

So...in all this texting after getting her number, you didn't ask her out...and instead you're talking about adding on social media? Jesus, man.


You, right now via text:

"It's Netflix and drinks night at my place, 9. Come by when you're free and I'll show you my instagram."


Get to the fucking point with 9 and 10 queen bees.

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That was earlier in the piece. We made plans to see each other this weekend.

Group date or one on one?

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Group but fairly sure I can steer it to one-on-one. I also want to keep my options open in case I vibe with one of her cuter friends. Hence, why I do not want to burn bridges with her and leave things on a more positive note.

The smell of fear is strong in this one. Numerous texts with no date set up, fearful of "stirring up the pond".

Women don't care if you stir up the pond. And if you fuck the "queen bee", you can fuck all of them.


Learn to value your time by being direct and to the point with women, and never fear fallout (except for work environments).

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It is really tough to get laid if you are constantly hedging your bets.

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These hos ain't loyal

Definitely good point. I'm spending too much energy on strategically trying to maneuver. Just going to be direct and go with my gut.

Is it a possibility that she's just giving you the same shit you gave her? You joked around and took it far, but she responds on your level and you get scared.

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