Need some Advice.



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 Post subject: Need some Advice.
PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 11:58 pm 
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Alright I got put into the friend zone the dreaded friend zone by my oneitis. Fair enough she told me she wanted to be friends I told her I already have friends and that I wasn't looking for more of them. This is where it gets complicated... A few days after she starts texting me wondering where we are at... I need advice if there is any possible for this problem lol.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:50 am 
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I'd have to know a little more about the your unique situation to be certain but it sounds like by texting you at all it sounds like a shit test. A hot girl expects a typical response from her men and it sounds like you offset it by standing your ground and making your intentions clear to her - good job!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:34 pm 
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Well I have pretty much known this girl since before I knew about "the game" I met her on myspace and she's and HB10 we talked a lot and finally hung out the first night she was totally in to me and I her (obviously) so then we hung out a couple of times but it was always with her friends there we'd meet at a club or whatever... I won one of her friends over (her bigger friend) but the other one was pretty skeptical of me. I made a move and she told me she wanted to be friends... At that point I said ah well thats fine but I don't need friends then she kinda got mad and told me I was being shady and I just basically told her it is what it is... So I stopped talking to her and that was that she starts texting me the other day saying things like "if Im still allowed to text you" and shit like that... I'm pretty much confused I like the girl no doubt but should I just say f-ck it and let her go or is she just testing me to see how I respond to certain things.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:58 pm 
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Hot girls get accustomed to a certain reality and begin expecting men to respond to them a certain way (pussy whipped). She knows from experience what games work with typical guys and what kind of power she has over the male gender.

As for her friends - girls use their friends as sources of comfort and security (very few hot girls are independent and stand on their own emotionally) so if she was particularly insistent on being with her friends she was probably not comfortable or attracted enough to be with you on her own.

About the shady remark - she could have meant that you were making her feel like a sex object she interpreted your comments as an indirect way of saying you wanted her body. Also, girls are world class body language readers so you might want to question whether you might have been incongruent when you were with her (like when you told her you didn't need more friends were you real and confident or were you sort of cowering when you said it?) because girls can spot incongruence from a mile away. It sounds like she was skeptical of you and you verified her suspicions when you made a move.

She is definitley still into you and was acting from a typical hot girl perspective. I've played this game many times myself and talked over email to many guys who deal with similar situations. She was trying to get a rise out of you and see if you would run to her and try to win her back like a typical beta.

If she truly disliked you and had lost interest she wouldn't have given a second thought to texting you and saying "If I'm still allowed to text you" and that shit but I wouldn't give up on her. It actually sounds like her LJBF itself was somewhat of a shit test. Just be careful not to fall into the trap many guys do of beginning to appear needy and make sure you stand your ground with her because it sounds like egardless of where you stand with her you left (telling her you had enough friends) her by standing your ground with her which gave her a hint that you were diffferent from most guys and knows she's playing the check-in game to see if her suspicions were accurate. Given the circumstances I would 100% incourage you to go for it.

- Chris 8)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:25 pm 
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Thanks a ton for the advice I feel the same way you have put things.. But from this point I basically stopped talking to her last night again after she had text me a few times... Should I wait until she texts me again or should I say something to her... Basically this is how the converstation went yesterday...

HB10: How was the fights last night (st pierre/serra2) anyways Or can I not talk 2 u?

Me: mm I was pretty drunk I think they were pretty good

HB10: That sucks.

Me: Why would you not be able to text me?

HB10: You said you didn't want to be my friend.

Me: I know I did.

HB10: So thats why I thought I couldn't talk to you.

Me: I wouldn't figure you would want to.

HB10: Of course I do. I just dun want to bug you after all u said.

Me: I don't like the situation anymore than you do.

HB10: Can we just stop talking about this, or was there stuff left unsaid?

Me: I don't know you tell me.

HB10: Guess im just confused bout what we are.

Me: I didn't think we were anything at this point.

HB10: cool.

Me: I don't think its cool exactly but I don't kno whow else to be about it.

HB10: Its not cool. I dont know either to tell you the truth.

Thats the entire conversation I had with her yesterday I pretty much fell asleep after she said that... So I don't know if I should just wait to see if she says something again or say something to her... Kinda a tricky deal.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:28 am 
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You are right this indeed a tricky deal - lot of subtleties and girl coded messages. Sounds like some underlying sexual tension too. Play the jealousy card if you can - it would be very powerful in this situation and It's probably your best shot. You need to show her that your as over her as she claims to be of you (even if you are not) and that you're putting her in the friends zone, being a man and moving on (even if you fake it). Next time you two commuincate try treating her like an unattractive girl - like she has no sexual value for you.

You're giving her a situation she is not used to and unsure how to handle. Keep in mind hot girls want what's off limits to them. ;)

This line intrigues me:

She brought the topic up with "after all u said" and then when you responded asked "Can we just stop talking about this" which sounds like confused emotions to me.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:38 am 
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I agree, she does not know how to handle the situation. Personally i would still hang out with her in clubs. Meet her there with another girl, or after you say hey approach other girls. I see feelings from her in the conversation. As stated earlier play hard to get. Dont blow her off completely.

Just act like you have options. Keep your body language strong and dont play into her games. Shes into you only because she inititated the conversation, she wants you around and is possible keeping you around for validation, knowing she has options. Just dont let her get the upper hand. Keep your game tight and dont give in.

~ Mystic

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:57 am 
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You got it 100% man, everything you said - keep her in your life but show her that if she's going to pass you over that your more than happy to persue other women as there is nothing between you.

Guys often forget that girls know how to use push-pull extrememly well. They know how to string guys along and they know they are hot. Being different from all the AFCs is the key - as she already feelings for you on some level pull her strings the right way and she will feel that emotional shift you are looking for.

Keep it up man I really like what you're doing - it's what this community and body of knowledge is all about!

- Chris 8)


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:05 am 
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Thanks a ton for the advice fellas... I think I'm gonna let it cool off for a few days and if she doesn't say anything to me I will initiate the conversation and treat her like an ugly girl... Just one last question though how do I do that without going too far overboard?

Should I still ask her to hang out and what not?... Ok thats two lol

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:27 am 
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You have a pretty solid understanding of the fundamentals of attraction. You know more than you give yourself credit for and I'm certain you will have a solid idea of how to treat her appropriatley for building attraction and will do very well. just stick to your intution and go with that and keep in mind the following:

1) She's attractive and she is used to certain behavior patterns from guys.

2) Don't make her your appear to be your top priority - show her that your more than willing to just walk away and find other girls.

3) You're not after her approval and you are an alpha male who makes his own decisions who doesn't sit around and wait or play games. If you kiss close another girl in front of her it will send a powerful message. (I have used the same trick to have LJBFs with sexual tension running into my arms - it's never failed me yet)

- Chris 8)


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:19 pm 
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I agree with chris!

Im not sure about treating her like the ugly girl, that can put your mental game to put off the wrong body language.

Act like everythings cool, back off a few days and see what she says. Invite her to join you at the club this weekend and use her as social proof when you first walk in, then approach other girls. She will get the hint she is losing a great guy. Act like your not intrested in her, treat her like the little sister. She will start to wonder why you dont treat her like the other guys that give her attention.

Dont worry about the outcome, cause if nothing else you have a girl to use as social proof and an unkown pivot!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:28 am 
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Awesome advice guys thanks a ton I will be using this stuff... I will keep you posted on the outcome!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:44 am 
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I'm really looking forward to hearing your outcome Vizion. I'm curious to hear exactly what kind of unique events unfold.

Mystic - I really liked your idea of using her as social proof and approaching other girls to make her feel like she is losing an awesome guy. It gives him every possible chance to DHV and have her clamoring trying to qualify herself to him. What a brilliant way to completly turn the tables and get the situation under his control.


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