hi everyone, bobby, newbie from london here, was in LTR for a few years but now back to work, and i'm after some advice from your good selves.

saturday night on the way back from a gig (i play bass so i was carrying it, which was a good ice-breaker) to cut a long story short i number closed (that the right expression?) with a HB7 i met on the nightbus.

texted her about 5pm on the sunday night with:

"hey it's bobby with the cumbersome bass from the bus. pleasure to meet you, how're you doing?" (or something like that).

she replies at 2pm tuesday (so nearly 48 hrs later) with "hello, i'm good thanks. ridiculously busy though and have been working long hours. rubbish hope you're well!"


so... is this an obviously disinterested girl, obvously interested, or is further investigation required? note there was no question for me to answer in her text so i don't have an obvious retort...

also, how long to wait before i reply to this?

ta!

let her know that your doing something like your on your way home from being with mates or something dont let on that youve set aside time to text her, and further investigation required!!

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Don't Hate The Player, Hate the Game...

You should have called her the first time, it was tooo easy for her to not respond to your SMS earlier and so she finally got around to it 2 days later! Next time call the first time, or maybe send her a short and funny SMS only RIGHT after seeing her (but you're probably better to call the next day).

By the sounds of it, she is losing interest quick, though it might be salvagable. You NEED to get her on the phone and setup a first meeting. THIS IS A MUST. Keep the conversation to a minimum, you don't want to reveal too much about yourself (because you want to leave her wanting to LEARN more about you when she actually meets you)

Why not use the fact that you play base to your advantage? CALL her (NOT text) and say something to the effect of...

"Hey, I'm playing a gig at (venue) Tuesday night and it's going to be a TON of fun! Come see us jam! What are you going to be wearing I need to make sure we don't wear the same outfit."

This way you are already doing something fun and exciting, if she wants to be fun she'll come out. You are giving her a command "Come see us" and yet it's non threatening since you are saying "us" rather then "me". Then you assume the close with "What are you going to be wearing..." of course she's coming, you are a HIGH VALUE male who is a ROCK STAR (Insert genre of music). She's lucky you are inviting her! It's also a little cocky funny.

If she doesn't answer leave it as a message on her voice mail. A lot of people don't leave messages but I don't buy into that. You can totally DHV with a voice mail, just be brief, to the point, and practice it a few times before calling so it sounds smooth and like it's no big deal. You invite people to your shows all the time!

Bottom line, you need to set up a day 2. Without any details it's hard to tell if you have enough comfort for a direct invitation so this is a nice way to build more attraction and comfort.

Good luck! If she flakes on you no big deal, there are millions of other HB's out there

Yeh try Zigman's idea.. if you're doing gigs often then its the perfect way to invite her out and DHV yourself when you're playing!! let me us know how it goes..

thanks for the tips lads.

unfortunately i've not got another gig lined up for a month, which is too far off, so i don't think i can use zigman's otherwise excellent advice.

bit more info on the pick-up:

1. 1:30am noticed her at the bus stop (alone)
2. went right up and asked if my bus had come past recently (it hadn't, but she said 'i get that one too')
3. i said 'ok well i can get another one round the corner which takes me quite close to home as well so let's see who gets back to x 1st - bet i beat you!' and walked off
4. did i hell have any intention of getting another bus - i walk into the night up to the next bus stop on her route.
5. 15 mins later the bus comes and sure enough she's on the bottom deck, and immediately she opens with 'so you didnt go for the other bus?' and i feed the story about how 2 went passed me on my way, so had to get her one after all.
6. 'so i won then', she says. and i'm like 'yeh whatever' in a faux pissed off but smiling way. i shut up and look out the window.
7. then she starts asking about the band etc etc, finishes up with 'what's your name?' at which point i thought 'ok if she wants my name she's also got to want to give me her number'. which she did.


so basically i think comfort's already there, and cos of no gigs lined up, i simply replied 'glad to see my spelling's up to scratch (in the initial text i made a joke about not being able to spell her name, but turns out i did get it right). fancy a drink in x this week?'


no reply as yet but it's only been 2 hours. could i have done better in the circumstances d'ya think? whatever happens i'm not going to lose sleep over it... got to get in the 'game' mindset!

mate, you should've called (already mentioned) it takes a bit more to call a girl than the easy way of textin' show your confidence with a quick call sayin hey great talkin to you on the bus, shouldn't leave it to see you on it next time. we should get together on (day) for more of a chat

somethin to that effect, short and sweet