Quick history: I met this woman on a dating website and we’ve been seeing each other in person for a little over a month. She’s 29 and I’m 30. We’ve been on four dates and had sex twice. She’s an adventurous person and loves to travel, but I’m a homebody (she knew this even before our first date). She said she understands my introversion, but she’s looking for a guy who she can eventually do things like traveling with and she said I should get out of my comfort zone and try new things. I told her I’m willing to do that.

On our fourth date, we had lunch, then dessert, coffee, went to the movie theater, then sat in my car talking and sometimes kissing. Throughout the entire date, she was on her cell phone a lot and she was usually more focused on her phone than on me. If she was on her cell phone while I was talking to her, she’d be staring at her screen when talking to me. She wasn’t physically affectionate from the moment I met with her and when I arrived at her place, she wasn’t even ready yet and had me wait for around five minutes (on previous dates, she was already waiting outside). She did get more affectionate as time went on, but not like on previous dates.

The day after the date, she started acting distant. She told me that she gets bored if she just goes out for food and movies and she wants to do more exciting and interesting things. I told her that I never go out and do interesting things, so I’m kind of clueless about what to do, but I’ll put forth an effort, and she said it’s not that hard to find interesting things to do. She did mention that I should invite her over when my father isn’t home. I live with my father and she feels awkward about coming over if he’s home and she feels awkward about inviting me over because she lives with her parents. We had sex at my place both times, and we had to be really quiet because my father was home and she said she doesn’t like sneaking around like she’s in high school.

Last Friday, I told her my father won’t be home at night but she said she’s on her period and I told her that I’d rather not have period sex. At night, I invited her over but she didn’t want to come over because she said she didn’t feel comfortable knowing that my father could come home at any time (he did the last time we had sex). It seems like she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore (she was extremely affectionate and needy before). It seems like she’s only interested in sex at this point.

Is the reason that she lost interest in a relationship because she feels like I’m not able to plan exciting dates with her?

Is this situation salvageable? What should I do at this point to keep her interested enough in me to continue wanting to have sex with me? Do I just text her about once a week letting her know that my father isn’t home and ask if she wants to come over? What should I avoid doing?

Sorry man, you're a 30 yr old homebody who lives with his dad. Not a lot of women are going to stick around for long. Enjoy the moment i guess

Being 30 and living at home can be a big turn off. You can get laid, as you obviously have, but you have "short term" written all over you. I suspect her reaction to you is primal. She's 29 so likely looking for a lifetime mate i.e a man that can support her, marry her, procreate with her. Doesn't matter if you want to be that guy or not, her attraction is somewhat based on you being a viable partner and obviously you look like a loser if you're 30 and living at home. She may not even consciously be thinking of you in a marriage minded since, but trust me a lot of her attraction is based on your success at the moment.

Having said all that, she still seems somewhat interested in fucking you. Soooooo I have a fantastastic idea. Why don't you just rent a motel/hotel when its time to have sex? Problem solved. I suspect you'll have a diff reaction if you offer this alternative. You're trying to bring her back to your place when clearly she has issues with it. And if a chick is uncomfortable she's likely going to be turned off. So, before you go any further or solicit any other advice, I would just get a room. If she agrees, then see her a few times at the hotel then re-evaluate the situation.

Keep in mind. She told you she's bored by the normal dates...you might want to be robust enough in your game to do some type of rock climbing, bowling, type of shit. There's plenty of post on here about activity dates that frankly you should be able to do. I'll stop there. Offer to get a room and then see how it goes.

Uh, why not take her home at this point?
Translation: "you're boring me to death, why all the fucking preamble, let's just get right to having crazy sex and partying."

Women don't want balloon rides and five location dates. They want to catch a buzz and have you rip their pants down and have your way with them as soon as you walk in the door. They want passion, like the romance book covers. They want a strong male leader who will take them out of the mundane with his charm wit, and passion.

Wake up, man. The excitement and "interesting" comes from within you, by dominating and leading in the bedroom, and using shocking honesty to keep a woman on her toes emotionally.

Wow, that is not hot AT ALL.
This woman likes you, so she's trying to help you. Most women would walk away on this situation.

Another huge turn off for women.

My experience has been that women are extremely sexual pre-period, and during, and love nothing more than to have a man inside them.

I don't want to offend you, but you sound like a complete pussy. You live with your dad at 30, and you're afraid of the female body.

Toughen up, man. Hit the gym, go for hikes, start doing man stuff and get off the fucking couch.


OMG! She's only interested in sex? How horrible, lol.

You have yourself a real woman here, man. She knows what she wants. Most relationships with independent, strong women are all about sex at first. It's how 9's and 10's filter out the sad men. These women are secure enough in themselves to let the relationship unfold organically, first with great sex, then an emotional connection, and then an exclusive talk.



You're not in a relationship. You have a fuck buddy. When you prove yourself to be good enough in bed, emotionally centered,and having ambition/leading, she'll have a relationship talk with you.


You need to move the fuck out of your dad's house. I don't care if it's a shitty studio. Act like a man.

This woman has the patience of a saint. She likes you, and is giving you chances.

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