Hi Guys,

I'm new on this forum. I joined to get some help regarding this girl I like at work. So here's the background story..

She joined work around 6 months ago. She's gorgeous basically every guy at work would love to date her but most of them are either married or older. I liked her from the very beginning. So I started befriending her to know her more. I started chit chatting her here and there. Last month I asked her if I could take her out and she initially said she wouldn't mind and she gave me her #. So I called her the next day to see if she was free, she responded by asking me what my intentions are and I told her that I want to get to know her more and hopefully it could lead to more in future. She said that she isn't sure because of 2 reasons; first she doesn't want relationship at work (she's afraid of all the rumors at work) and second she wants to concentrate on work. So she wouldn't wanna date right now. So I told her I respect her decision. I was still initiating small talks at work to show nothing has changed. So few weeks ago I asked her again I told her that I don't want work to be the deciding factor in my pursue of her but she said she is firm on her decision. She said she would be fine with being just friends but I told her that I wanted more than just friends. I told her I don't want to be in friendzone (I have had bad experience in the past being in friendzone).

I still try to talk to her here and there.. but man honestly I really like her. Could anybody help me? propose any ideas on how I may be able to ask her out and change her mind. I'm a genuine guy.. Not really looking to play or anything.. I just really like her..

Move

On

Learn to respect someone's wishes and the fact that they're not interested.

Especially at work.

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Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Maximize the time you have put in already and see if she can hook you up with some hot friends.

She was pretty clear.

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There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You: "My intentions are to have fun".

What the fuck is this beta shit?
BOOM.

That's what you get for acting like you want a relationship right away.

Sad behavior.

Why would you have serious talk with her when you haven't even kissed her?

Nice job friend-zoning yourself.


God damn this is pathetic.

NEVER have Debbie DOwner serious talks with a woman you haven't even kissed.

The girl gave your her number, perhaps wanted to be your fuck buddy, and you blew it with this emotional bullshit.

There's a saying in the writing world that applies to game, too. It's called "show, don't tell".

you attract women early on by being fun and in the moment, not talking about relationships before a kiss. Do you know what I do to women who do this to me?

I friend-zone them.


You deserve it.
She wanted a hook-up, a bad boy, and you presented yourself as a the classic nice-guy ass kisser.

You're done.

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A woman giving you her number doesn't always mean she wants a hookup, a bad boy, or anything at all from you.

She likely did it out of politeness as they work together.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Agreed. Especially on this woman. If it were just a regular girl that the OP met on the street, it would have been easy to ignore his text/call. This one actually tried to diffuse the situation by talking about not wanting rumors going around. If she wanted the bad boy or a hookup, she wouldn't care about rumors.

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Always assume attraction and act like a dominant male, even if the odds are low. How a girl feels in the cold light of an office will be different with how she feels alone in her apartment.

The OP acted like a bitch.

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Not true at all, especially in the workplace.

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The OP did assume attraction. It would be hard not to when he got her number with the explicit reason for taking her out. This girl, like you even explained in another post, falls into one of those girls that didn't want to reject him to his face although she knew he wanted to take him out. She just simply shut him down.

No need to say he acted like a bitch. He asked her out. She asked his intention and he was honest about it. Most guys would try to disguise their intention by saying something like "to have a good time." He was completely, some might say brutally, honest and direct which is better than most guys. The OP didn't do anything wrong except wanting to keep pushing things.

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You have to stop looking at bartenders thinking that they represent the average career minded women.

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You have to stop banging 5's, lol.


Science and attraction supersede human materialism and careers.

It's just a stronger pull.

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You have to start banging women, lol.

You like to say science a lot without backing it up. In real life, women care about their image in the workplace especially if they are on a career path. If you think that values don't play into attraction, you're out of your mind.

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Yeah I agree. Most likely she's just being nice to me and not trying to create an awkward situation at work. Thanks for responding.