Whilst I can hold eye contact pretty well when in a conversation, I have trouble holding it when innocently just walking past someone or when about to approach. For the record, it doesn't make a difference when walking past a male or a female or if I know them or not.

It seems that at soon as I lock eyes with someone, there's an automatic reaction of looking away and even turning or dipping my head. I've been trying to improve this for weeks now and it's still the same and makes me look and feel pretty stupid and timid.

Any suggestions on how this can be improved? Or any exercises you can suggest I carry out to sort the problem out? Thanks

You're just not confident. Simple as that. Practice looking at one person a day in the eye you don't know. Then two, then three, and then it becomes like drinking water. Rome wasn't build in a day, and your eye contact won't be either. I used to have the same problem back in my young days, nowadays, I say hi or compliment.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

I'd suggest set a limit of 1 second for 2 people the first day. Then 2 seconds for 4 people, etc.

Also, if you're REALLY having trouble, try focusing on the bridge of their nose or the gap in between their eyebrows, it'll look to them like you're looking in their eyes.

_________________
"The strong did what they could and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides

This is quite a struggle for me, too. Just really force it. When someone is talking to you, force eye contact 80% of the time, then when you're talking to them, force eye contact 60% of the time. It sounds more complicated than it is, and eventually becomes habitual.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Thanks for the advice guys. I'll work on completing the tasks right away.

Practising the suggested is a good thing.
But I think another thing is a problem. Generally in life, you can't keep eye contact with the superior, it would be rude or might produce consequences you wouldn't like. You can do it with an "equal" person.
So I think you should build your personality [edit: and your social position], and the eye contact will come through it. To feel more confident like the "assertive" guy told you (thus meeting less the superior). You are probably in early twenties or younger, so you have plenty of time for that.
I don't say I'm sure about you, I'm just trying to point to something, and you can think about it and see if that might be the problem.

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

Keep it up, you'll get over the instinct of looking away. It's pretty much a trained reflex to look away when you lock eyes with someone you're not very comfortable with.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Thanks for the input, but to be honest, I don't think this is my problem. I would never assume a stranger as being superior or inferior. Don't even think I believe in people being superior or inferior in general either. Would have to agree with others that it's a confidence issue.
Thanks. Been working on what I can today but not many opportunities as of yet. Still early though so other opportunities will hopefully come along.

This is probably a stupid question, but regarding the advice given of trying to improve daily, if I start to feel more comfortable with it, should I increase the amount by more than what was originally suggested?

Increase the amount of what? Just make eye contact with more or less every person you walk by on the street. The vast majority will look away within two seconds. Make it your target to always let them be the ones to break it.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Was going by previous posts suggesting to try one person the first day, two the second and continue with that trend. Or to try hold it for a 2 seconds with 2 people and increase both each day.

OK, I didn’t explain it well I think (maybe the superior/inferior are not good terms)… Neither do I. And I never let anyone to be either of the two with me. As human beings, we are all of the same value, we all have certain qualities etc. etc…
BUT…
There are some imaginary rules in the society that we all subconsciously accept. There IS a social scale.
If you accidentally looked in the eyes some kid in the street would you have Would you feel timid? I don’t think so, because on this imaginary “social scale” you are the superior one.
I am not trying to persuade you that I’m right, I just want to explain what I really meant with that “superior/inferior” thing.

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

Thanks for explaining as I did misinterpret your comment and I agree with what you say. It's deffinately something I need to improve on.

In your previous comment, you also say that I need to build my personality and social position. Would you have any suggestions on how you would do that? I'm have been thinking of getting the 'Models by Mark Manson' book as it seems to have excellent reviews and I haven't read anything apart from The Game.

OK, when you say it like this I really feel you did not understand it the right way...

You cannot say "It's deffinately something I need to improve on." as if it is a skill, playing cards, or anything small in your life.
Building personality and social position is not something you do once and there you are.
You read, you play sports, you talk to people (interesting people you have things to learn from - I always liked people smarter than me)… It is difficult to explain in details – mostly, interacting with all sorts of people and different places (bars, cafés, pool halls etc.) Me myself I liked to talk to beggars or what society often calls “losers” (I don’t find a better word) … (my girlfriend finds it weird - but I thought one can get a different perspective) but to tell honestly, after many years, you can not learn much from them.

Going up the social scale – I think you should understand that…

I’m sorry, I’ve been drinking tonight so my language and my thoughts are not quite precise, but I hope you understand me. If not, tell me and I will explain it more tomorrow.

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

No, not the books, you live a life. It is a bit difficult to explain and I could make myself a fool here... (but I'm drunk so who cares).
Are you on the same social level as any Hollywood star?
I suppose not. So let's say that is the top (being a star). Your position is the bottom. (yes as humans we're all equal but our society doesn't care - which I'm OK with) So... your way is going up, as far as you can get...

edit: and I broke my 6 years old rule of not writing on any social media drunk...

_________________
At elske Een er for lidt; at elske Alle er Overfladiskhed; at kjende sig selv og elske saa mange som muligt [...] det er Nydelse, det er at leve.
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

Having been trying to actually approach women these last few weeks or have you just been running around playing the eye contact game?

When you actually start consistently approaching, holding eye contact will become easier because its more easier to hold eye contact than it is to approach. When you beat the game on hard money, easy mode becomes a breeze. Go in the approach. With confidence in approaching, confidence in all of its prior stages will increase as well.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com