Hey guys, had a first date tonight with a conservative 24 yr old HB87 Asian girl. I'm 35 yr white male, avg. handsome with a very good job.

1. The girl showed up to date even though she said she felt not well but didn't want to cancel on me, we had great conversation over a drink and when I told her we should go she suggested "where to next?" (had done the cube, thumb war, etc.)
2. Tried to hold her hand to next place and she wasn't into it, didn't know me well enough and it felt weird she said
3. Next bar 3 drinks in, she really opened up to me and told me about her family, how she gets attached easily and heart has been broken. Her heart is guarded. Her last date was a disaster bc the guy was asking her about her fav sexual position etc. and he was so awkward.-----The eye contact and leaning over the table was amazing on her part, I felt like the ioi's were great. Suggested she join me for a soul.rock concert saturday and played the music, she said was more into hard rock and never answered if she wanted to come.
4. Walked her back to her car and I said are you finally going to hold my hand? in a cocky funny way and she said just bc other girls do stupid stuff when they are drunk, I don't in a polite away. She gave me a ride to my car.
5. Texted her when I got home saying good to meet you and something interesting about you. NO RESPONSE for 2 hrs. then "Home safe nice to meet you too!"

WTF? did I do wrong or is he playing hard to get? All the other girls in the past hold my hand no problem. So confused, thought it went so well, she stayed till I wanted to leave and the eye contact was amazing. Why 2 hrs to write me back?

**Where do I go from here? Is she just a slow mover and I need to go slow too?

Dating 4 girls right now but I like her the best so far. But obviously she isn't high on the sex driven online wriggle questions. Maybe I just ran into a prude?

It doesn't really read like you escalated, as nowhere does it mention a kiss or anything.

Ok, understand. After she didn't want to hold my hand I couldn't see how attempting to kiss her was going to go well??


Last 3 first dates with other girls, I kissed them at the end. This one seemed extra conservative. Of course I like her more the the others.

From experience you were just a bit too pushy. Conservative Asians need more time and are less comfortable with physical escalation. Sometimes it took me a whole month of dating before I feel them comfortable enough for a first kiss. On top of that, for some of them, holding hands is strongly connoted with being in a relationship. The last Asian I dated, we held hands after kissing.

So follow the usual rule: gently escalate with kino, if she doesn't seem comfortable with something take two steps back, and try again later, not too quickly otherwise you'll come off as pushy. Instead of holding hands, try putting your arm around her shoulders, or sniffing her hair (easy routine: "what's that smell? does it come from you? *snif snif* hey your hair smell so nice!"). Support that with psychological comfort escalation, with emphasis on being nice and caring, without sacrificing your self-respect.

About your 5): texting her right away is too soon for me, I'd wait the next day. That she waited 2 hours is irrelevant (maybe she needed to take a shower and feed the dog and do some laundry). She replied to you, that's a good sign. Now wait at least half a week before next text, and don't suggest a second date before a few texts have been exchanged.

One last thing: if she's like girls I dated in the past, expect her to expect a serious LTR, maybe marriage too. Yeah, I had experiences where the Asian girl told me even before we started that she wanted a boyfriend who would be ready to marry her.

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We do what we have to do in order to do what we want to do.

Gamey AF.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

What you do that's normally successful doesn't mean it will work on every single girl. Don't start panicking. Go with the flow and see how it plays out.

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Thanks guys. Yep, def gamey AF. I’ve been out of PU for over 5 yrs as I was dating a girl long term. Recently went through a break-up. Getting my self back out there to date and have some fun. Stumbling through a few things, but I’m trying. I’d rather fail then not try. Pulled two girls home in the past month from the first night, not even a date.

I’ve never dated an Asian. I’m learning it might take a slower approach to kino escalation then what worked on previous girls. I really like the idea of one step forward and two back if it does not work. I had no idea hand holding was such a big deal to some.

Was really surprised I put an offer out for a fun concert saturday during the last drink and she didn’t commit to it. She likes a little different music, but come on, who doesn’t like a good live concert? I guess it was too soon (another mistake?)

Yep, def shouldn’t have texted when I got home. Stupid me . You really think half a week is not too long? Lots of other content I read tell me the following day to set up a definite date for the next week.

I’m fine with another relationship at this point. I’m 35, getting old. Time for me to find a good girl and settle down. Thought that was the last one until we broke up. Loved practicing PU in my late 20’s but think I am more of a relationship guy as I get older. I’d like to utilize my rough PU skills for find one.

Don't go in anticipating any outcome at all. Just chillax. Relationships.....if you lay them it will come.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Nope. And when I said "at least" that means even a week would be ok. Especially given that she pushed you back a couple of times. But given her text (short and polite) and her refusing your concert I wouldn't bet much on her.

And if you're in looking for a LTR, I'd suggest (haven't tested this advice but at least that's how I would do) you mention that to the dates that look promising. Something like "I've had my share of fun, now I'm looking for something serious. Doesn't mean I'm gonna settle with the first one who comes up, but if I feel the vibe is there that's definitely gonna be something on my mind"

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We do what we have to do in order to do what we want to do.