Here's the situation.

I met this girl last winter. She was crazy into me but I was still getting over my last heartbreak and I didn't give her too much attention during the first few weeks after we met. When I finally gave in, after a few dates , I started catching the feels. My mindset being what it was at the time, depressed, anxious and coming off a bad relationship, I started being insecure and jealous about another guy in her friend circle that was clearly into her. I basically told her I'd rather not pursue anything and wanted to just forget about her. I regretted it, of course, but she had already gone cold, I tried getting back in touch but she was flaky so I decided to go no contact and delete her off social media and block her number. (Yes I can be a little intense but I thought it was over for good)


After a few weeks of no contact she texted me one night telling me she went to my workplace and was sad I wasn't there. We met up and she was really sad, telling me I was an asshole for deleting her off social media and what not, telling me she cared a lot about me and was just scared off by the way I acted. She slept over and was extremely affectionate. When I woke up next to her I thought things would be fine but the next day when I messaged her seemed cold again and said she was embarrassed and didn't remember what she said the night before because she was drunk. She also said she ''did not know what she wanted''.
I told her she probably should just delete my phone number to avoid any confusion since I know for sure that I want to spend time with her and I once again deleted her from social media.


4-5 months went by and I still couldn't get her off my head. Last week I just sent a quick text saying I hoped she had a great summer and that I was still thinking about her. She answered promptly and said she was really happy I texted her, asked about my summer. We went back and forth for 2 hours. She said she wanted to forget about what happened before and said she would be really happy to meet up with me. 3-4 days later I texted her and she agreed to meet for a few minutes before heading home because she was coming home from work and was close to where I was. It was a platonic meeting but it felt nice seeing her again. Later that night she texted me saying she was really happy that she got to saw me. I asked her out for the next day and she said she had a birthday party, couldn't promise anything but it might end early, so I got the vibe that she might come over after. She also said that if she couldn't make it we would make it up later anyways.


The next day she texted me around midnight, saying she couldn't really excuse herself since her best girlfriend (her roommate) wasn't feeling well so we exchanged texts for a few minutes and that was it.
Now it's been two days and we haven't texted. I'm wondering if I should just let her reach out or ask her out again, or try to plan another date. When we started talking last winter, she would constantly messaging me. Is she just not that into me this time around or do I need to make it up to her for being a cunt?
I know that I went from hero to zero in a matter of days the last time with my beta behavior, she probably lost attraction really quick but it was really high in the first place so I'm thinking I can probably salvage this, what do you guys think? Is it a lost cause or is this worth pursuing? What's my best course of action?

Were you meeting other women during those 4-5 months?
Probably is a lost cause.

Either way you can simply ask her out again and if she says no forget about her and move on with your life.
Just don't hold your breath.

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I know you came here to ask about this girl, but I couldn't help but notice that within all this time you spent taking time off, and reconnecting with this girl over and over that you haven't grown. You still repeating the same behaviors and thought forms you were repeating then... What have you been doing all of this time? This is a pick up artist forum. Have you been actively out the house approaching, meeting and dating new women?

I get it.. This is the girl you didn't get to "close" with and when you don't close it has tendency to stay on your mind, but you have to learn to let that go. But to address your point, focus on other things and let the girl come to you at this point. Chasing will only produce more of the same. She knows you're there, if she's interested she'll come for you.

Give this a read: pua-lounge/topic190620.html

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I did meet other women, a substantial amount in fact, but I rarely meet someone I truly feel a strong connection with.

I want to ask her out again. She's been REALLY responsive the first two times I've texted her, but it used to be that she would constantly message me, and message me first. So after she couldn't make it last saturday I did not write to her again and she hasn't either.

I did not fuck her that night, no. Probably a big mistake but it is what it is, I wasn't expecting her to hit me up like that after I deleted her off everything, she was drunk as hell, I don't know why I didn't actually but It probably didn't help, I'm well aware.

This "I had her and did nothing" is like starting fires then coming here asking us how to put them out.

I mean.. wouldn't it be better for everyone if you had not started it in the first place? Or in other words, if you had taken the opportunity when you should have?

Anyway, I stand by what I initially said. Meet other women, throw this girl a bone one more time, and take the end result at face value.

And stop the hesitation.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

If you did not at least kiss the girl, then your entire post, and your actions (within the context of this girl) are a complete waste of time and meaningless.


Send her a text right now:

"Hey, Jess I'm heading to Bar X, at 8, you're welcome to join".

If she says no, say "cool". If she says yes, make a move that night.

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Wtf man, you always have some thread about NOT doing something with a chick. What are you so afraid of?

Oh of course we did kiss passionately and cuddle. I was so anxious about the whole ordeal though that I decided against having sex. I remember feeling like I was going to puke while she was on her way to my place. She was crying and feeling like shit so I did not push it. Like I said I recognize this is a mistake.

I know she was leaving town for 10 days so I offered to plan something for when she comes back. She sent a detailed text message with all her agenda saying she would have a lot of free time when she comes back.
Then we texted back and forth and I teased her and probably went too far and insulted her. Oh well haha.

I know I need to work on myself, I shouldn't even be here, I hate picking up girls actually, I just want one I can have a strong connection with. I have 3-4 girls gravitating around me right now, almost begging to be fucked, and I can't bring myself to do it because I don't give a fuck about them. I might have low testosterone or something lol.

I know, it is pathetic. Looking at my post history is pretty cringey. I've been at it for almost 10 years with the insecurity and the pussyfooting and the neediness and the creepiness. I just don't know any better. I completely lose my cool when I catch feelings for a girl, it's actually insane. I can seduce almost any girl I want on any given night, but the follow up is always bullshit. I'm sorry you guys, I'll try to work on myself before coming back here with the same issues everytime.

Here's a little feedback..

After a few days I texted her asking when she'd be free so we could hang out..

She was going away for a week for work so we made plans for when she came back.. We texted once or twice while she was away and that was it, a few snapchats here and there.. When she came back it was her birthday a few days after and she actually messaged me on a saturday night around 11pm with an address to her new apartment, telling me she was having a little party. We hit it off from that night on. She introduced me to some friends, we went to the bar, she got jealous when a girl came up to me..

She told everyone I was her ''man'' she also told me privately that she thought we weren't compatible for a relationship but she was still attracted to me and still wanted to see if it could lead us anywhere. From that day on, things went back like they were the first time. Her texting me constantly, we would see each other around twice a week because she was really busy. I was so anxious the whole time because I didn't want to fuck things up, it was actually making me feel nauseous whenever we'd have a date.

Fast forwards two weeks ago, she was telling me how she wanted to be my girlfriend. I was ecstatic. She was always reffering the future, making plans, sending heart emojis all over the place. It felt amazing.

And then last wednesday she came over, wanted to go to the movies, and I was feeling like shit and really anxious so I tried telling her I didn't feel like going to the movies. She ended up being really pissed off and cold and when I walked her back home, we didn't say a word. I felt like she wanted to initiate a fight for some reason. The next day she didn't text, she used to text me first everyday. I texted her telling her I felt like there was something not right about the night before and that I was feeling like crap because of it. She told me I was making her nervous by thinking there was something off and to just let it go..

She left for the weekend to go see some girlfriends in another town, and we didn't text at all. I thought I should let her breathe a little. She texted me on sunday and said : ''two days without news, I hope everything okay but I guess theres something wrong''... I thought she was missing me so I replied that nothing was wrong, that I was just letting her breathe. Asked her if she wanted to hang out this week, that I would make it up for the movies and she said tommorow she was free and would text me.

She texted me around 5 saying she would be there around 6. When she came, something was off, she had a really long face. And then the bomb : I came here to talk to you.


Holy shit, it felt like she put a knife through my heart... She gave me the usual bullshit, told me were incompatible and our personalities didn't match.. I'm fucking heartbroken, again.

I thought this time it would be different, but I still acted like a cunt, she told me she wanted me to text her and that she was always the one initiating, I was so insecure that I needed her texts to reassure me, so I never did.. I also got really petty when things didn't go my way, and once or twice I went cold and stopped replying to her texts.. I was trying to make life easier for her and be a good boyfriend so things would work out but my insecurities and my anxiety got the best of me, and I lost the girl of my dreams once again.

I don't think I will get a third chance.. It has been a week and a half and I haven't heard from her.. I know she checks my snapchat stories religiously, and I've had a few with really hot girls, but I don't think she's sweating it too much.

I feel like shit.

I've made this point many times on.this forum. Women tend to get over things faster than men. Men tend to get neurotic and obsessive over little things.

Basically, she was ove the bad vibes from that night, but you kept bringing her back there. This goes against the fundamental rule of "be fun". Not a dopey clown, but fun. Women want to be around men who spark positive emotions. Having "talks" or asking what's wrong all the time creates a self fulfilling prophecy...you create what you fear..

Men who continually make this mistake rather than living in the moment will keep losing women they really like.

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This does make a lot of sense.. I took this girl for granted and thought she was hooked, since she asked to be my girlfriend and be exclusive and was all over me with the hearts and stuff.

I basically had a really bad vibe and I felt the need to express it when she was cold over text. It was my mistake.. It's hard to believe that this lead to her losing all attraction just like that, but I guess it is what it is. She asked me during the ''breakup'' talk why I didn't text her after that all weekend.. Should I have messaged her? I thought it would be better to let her come forward since I obviously felt that I turned her off from that text message before she left.

I've only scanned, but you texted for two hours and unless I'm mistaken, didn't even try to set a date?

"It's been a while. I'd love to catch up, when are you free?"

Depending on yes or no, you either arrange a date or reply with something along the lines of "Alright, that's a shame but get in touch if you change your mind" - easy.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.