Hey,

This summer a girl started to show a lot of interest in me, flirting a lot, etc, often asking me if we should hang out, etc, I was busy with other things at that time, so we met a few times and it seemed pretty clear she was into me, but nothing happened, except she sitting on my lap, giving me long hugs etc, but eventually I invited her home to my place, and we made out and became quite sexual with our cloths on before she got some last minute resistance or something like that and had to leave, she was involved with her ex still at this point, but then it took another month before we met again, and to begin with she was quite flirty again, but during our hangout she suddenly mentioned that she was not so sure about the fact that we had kissed last time because she still being involved with her ex. She complains a lot about him, and says that the whole thing is doomed to fail. I didn't say anything, just smiled and said it was fun and no problem for me that it happned. Didn't say I wanted it to happen again or that it was okey if it wasn't going to happen. But now I'm getting this sense that she is trying to friendzone me and at the same time keep this destructive relationship with her ex going.

What is the proper way to act in this situation? I'm interested in sleeping with her, but she is not relationship material, and certainly I'm not interested in being friendzoned.

Should I just tell her not to contact me again unless she becomes single or something along those lines?

Some women just go back to their ex's. It was a lot more serious than what you guys had going on.

If you feel yourself being friendzoned, then the best idea would be to not contact her until she re-initiates. I would also ban talk of her ex, that's being an emotional tampon and will see her pussy dry up.

Forget about her.

Meet as many different girls as you can. Just live your life and meet other girls. The more girls you meet, the more confident and comfortable you are, and the less important this one is, to the point where when you see her again, it's just not a big deal at all, Maybe you will eventually hook up with her, but when you do, she'll just be another girl to you.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Which is it? Is it her ex or is she not single?

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It is her ex, so it is kind of strange that she had to point out to me that because she isn't done with him, it isn't right for her to make out with me, when technically they are not in a relationship. Guess I was wondering about how can I make it clear that I'm not interested in being her friend if she is not into having a flirt with me, because she has this really strong focus on me and seems like she is really happy she has found someone like me she can hang out with, but in my energy I'd like to convey that it is not a both and choice for her, it is either she is into a flirt with me or she will loose my presence in her life. Women so often think that well hey if I want to kiss with him I'm glad to have that option but it is also really nice that I can just hang out with him as well, when in fact from my perspective that isn't really the case.

The problem is that you don't have the conviction to do what you need to do. You aren't interested in being her friend, but you want to negotiate and give her a chance to change her mind or realize what she'll be missing before you walk away. Walk the fuck away. Find another girl or more girls. When she does contact you because she misses being around you, then you can tell her that you're not interested in being just friends and walk away again.

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I like the sound of that. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I want that girl, or any girl I'm sexually interested in, to know what her real choices are, ie, have sex with me, or know that if she won't sleep with me I'll go and sleep with someone else and won't pay her much or any attention at all. If they think they can be in charge of the premisses of the relationship, and they think I will give them lots of attention no matter what they decide the premisses are going to be, then they have misunderstood and I need to sharpen up so that they are aware of what their actual choices are.

So last time we hanged out, when we hugged each other goodbye, and I was holding both her hands, standing face to face, she was like asking me pleeeeease come to the improv theather group tomorrow, no, I'm to worn down right now, and she was like well but let us make some art together sooooon, and I was like, "Well, sure," But instead I should have said "I'm not interested in making art with you, but give me a call if you get fed up with your ex " or something along those lines.

Been here.

Make your intentions perfectly clear and direct, to the point where it's almost shocking.

The only reason a woman strays from her ex (mentally and physically) is because she is bored. But...that doesn't mean you're the guy who can fix her boredom. She's testing you.

I usually send this to girls in this situation:

"Hey you, up to anything fun? I'm heading to Bar X at 10 to get crazy. Let's meet up".

No chit chat, nor talking about the weather or art or other bullshit. Direct and to the point.

Note the words "crazy" and "fun". This is all women want in the beginning. And it probably contrasts with all the serious drama texts and mundane shit she gets from her boyfriend.

I've also sent this text to women I've fucked or come close to fucking who are bored with their boyfriends:

"Hey, this is me hitting you up to fuck like crazy".

A woman whom you have a decent connection with will like the thrill of this and completely love your honesty.. Women love to sext. They loved to be surprised and shocked and teased.

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You're not that far off, OP. You ever watch pro poker on tv when a player pushes all of his or her chips in preflop, then immediately stands up waiting to find out what happened? That's you. Now you don't wanna be angry - don't curse, don't yell at her. But next time she tries to invite you to do something like that you tell her straightup: I'm trying to get laid, and it won't happen hanging out with you. You push your chips in, and you may win, you may lose, but at least you can say you tried to make a play.

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These hos ain't loyal

lol, what a drama queen.

She wasn't talking about art.
That's such a weak bitch response, lol. Be glad you didn't say it. The line comes off as a pouty little boy. And it puts all the power in her hands.

Be a man and just hit her up.

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You think if you say this she's going to say " Okay I will " And then when she becomes single she's contact you saying " Hey, Im single now! You ready to bang like we couldn't last time? ".. Like how exactly do you expect that to work? Lol

Whats the relationship now? Are you guys just texting? Are you hanging out? Whats going on? If its just texting, all you have to do is fade out, disappear for a bit, and she'll contact you when she's ready. As long as she has the best of both words( an boyfriend and you as a supportive text buddy to make her feel like she has options) she's never going to leave him, because she has something to balance out the bad relationship. Once that support system goes, she'll have to consider whether or not staying is worth it.

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Just be honest, say that you don't want to be her "plan B". And cut her off. Hard next. This girl probably loves drama anyway, that is why she is with that guy on and off all the time. And she is keeping you in case they don't succeed to be a couple. Now, do you want to be her plan B and do stuff with her while he is banging her whenever he wants?

But be honest, tell her what it is and hard next her. Don't mention sex at all. Just say I don't want to be plan B, goodbye.

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Gosh. I'm like a magnet on these types of women. Thanks for a lot of valuable advice. I think I will just go silent on her. She is too messed up.