She says, "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:25 pm 
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I met this girl at an internship the other night (Monday) and we got along super well; she told me she liked me a lot! So, at the end of the night, I asked for her number, which she gave to me gladly. Then, later in the week, I asked her out and she said yes. I texted, ”I am going to a show; you should tag along" to which she said, “yes”.

That Friday, we go to the show, it was great. I introduced her to people, hopefully raising my value. Then, we go to a bar and chatted away the night. It was too public to escalate with touching too much, but there was plenty of safe contact. At the end of the date, I give her a hug. It seemed too soon and out of place to go for the kiss, so I didn't. I said we should hang out again and she enthusiastically said “yes”.

Today (Sunday) we start texting again and after some fun texts, she drops this:
"And next show is on me please! Might not have to be said but I'm not looking to date anyone right now being new here I really want/value wonderful like minded friends. I haven't had such inspired conversation in the longest! Please disregard the caveat if it doesn't apply, I just have found myself in tricky situations before and so just like to put that out there. :)"

I thought about responding with something like, “So, you want to skip the dating and get right to the physical? Okay, I usually don’t move that fast, but I guess I ‘m open. ;)” Some kind of funny type response, but I am very unsure about this move or anything else I have thought of so far. The clock is ticking and I need to respond to this, right? And soon?

So lost. Thanks in advance!

WerewolfMage


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:31 pm 
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Quote:
I thought about responding with something like, “So, you want to skip the dating and get right to the physical? Okay, I usually don’t move that fast, but I guess I ‘m open. ;)” Some kind of funny type response, but I am very unsure about this move or anything else I have thought of so far. The clock is ticking and I need to respond to this, right? And soon?
'
Text her that if it makes you feel better. You had oppurtunity to make a move, and all I see are excuses. Just saying, you obviously wanted a friend, now she's that.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:37 pm 
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Text her that if it makes you feel better. You had oppurtunity to make a move, and all I see are excuses. Just saying, you obviously wanted a friend, now she's that.
So, you think it's a lost cause? Is there any chance? I really like this girl and I did not want a friend; I want her. I hate this.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:43 pm 
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What's with all the chit chat lately ? You guys forget it's 2016 and girls are still horny and ready to be docked down by the right man probably on the first date. I see no plan to isolate this broad but I do see plenty of "safe contact" crap lol come on guys, get those peckers moving

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:44 pm 
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Quote:
That Friday, we go to the show, it was great. I introduced her to people, hopefully raising my value.

Ugh. You're the prize, man. What did she do to raise HER value?



Quote:
Then, we go to a bar and chatted away the night. It was too public to escalate with touching too much, but there was plenty of safe contact. At the end of the date, I give her a hug.

Jesus christ.
Quote:
It seemed too soon and out of place to go for the kiss, so I didn't.
Kill me.

Quote:
Today (Sunday) we start texting again and after some fun texts
Translation: I bored her with texting when I should have escalated the last night.


Quote:
"And next show is on me please! Might not have to be said but I'm not looking to date anyone right now being new here I really want/value wonderful like minded friends. I haven't had such inspired conversation in the longest! Please disregard the caveat if it doesn't apply, I just have found myself in tricky situations before and so just like to put that out there. :)"
Friend-zoned because you didn't act like a man and escalate on the first date. This sends a series of signals to a woman about the kind of man you are.


Quote:
I thought about responding with something like, “So, you want to skip the dating and get right to the physical? Okay, I usually don’t move that fast, but I guess I ‘m open. ;)” Some kind of funny type response, but I am very unsure about this move or anything else I have thought of so far. The clock is ticking and I need to respond to this, right? And soon?

So lost. Thanks in advance!
your response:

"I'm just about fun right now, so it's all good. I'll be at Bar X tonight at 9, you're welcome to join me."

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:48 pm 
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Thanks for the tough love. I needed to hear all of this, seriously.

I am new to the game after a long break. I basically suck; I'm a safe ass AFC. Booooring.
I know I blew it with this girl which totally sucks but I am learning my lesson.
I hate myself right now.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:18 pm 
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Thanks for the tough love. I needed to hear all of this, seriously.

I am new to the game after a long break. I basically suck; I'm a safe ass AFC. Booooring.
I know I blew it with this girl which totally sucks but I am learning my lesson.
I hate myself right now.
Plenty more girls out there, many will be hotter than this girl. As long as you learn from your mistakes, that's the main thing.

No point hating yourself, you'll forget about this girl as soon as you get another one.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:21 pm 
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I know I blew it with this girl which totally sucks but I am learning my lesson.
I hate myself right now.

It's not over yet. She said she didn't want to "date". Sometimes that's a girl's friendly way of saying she might be down for FWB if you can handle her sexually and lead like a man.



Your response:

"I'm just about fun right now, so it's all good. And yeah, the conversation was great. I'll be at Bar X tonight at 9, you're welcome to join me."

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:31 pm 
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Plenty more girls out there, many will be hotter than this girl. As long as you learn from your mistakes, that's the main thing.

No point hating yourself, you'll forget about this girl as soon as you get another one.

Yeah, just emotional; I'll be fine.

On the date, I was so focussed on proving my value, I implied that she was pre-approved. I needed to make her qualify herself to me. This is so painfully clear now.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:41 pm 
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Pay attention to actions and not words (with the exception of "no means no"). Women are creatures of the moment and because she isn't looking for anything now doesn't mean she will pass on what she perceives as good.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:19 am 
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Pay attention to actions and not words (with the exception of "no means no"). Women are creatures of the moment and because she isn't looking for anything now doesn't mean she will pass on what she perceives as good.
Exactly this.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:15 pm 
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I'm not looking to date anyone right now being new here I really want/value wonderful like minded friends.
Translation;

"I thought you were cute, so I gambled and went out with you, turns out you were just a little boy, so I'm letting you down easy so you won't cry. I really want/value a MAN that will take me, push my ankles up to my ears and pound me like a jack hammer."

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:40 pm 
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Update: She asked me to hang out again and go see another show.
It seems like another chance, but I have no idea how to handle this. I want to escalate and establish kino, but I am worried about being creepy. I know I need her to qualify herself, but other than that, I am lost. Any help is very appreciated...


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 8:02 pm 
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Dude.

She contacted YOU to hang out. You don't need to do anything except go for the kiss BEFORE the movie.

Get the kino shit out of your head, it's nonsense.

Also, it's not creepy to respectfully go for what you want and be congruent with your desires. What's creepy to women is hiding your intentions.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 8:37 pm 
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My sticking point is: She says she doesn't want to date anyone, but I'm supposed to go for a kiss?! haha

Let me be clear: I think you're right; I just don't know how to do it.

Thanks, btw.


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