I Got Friend Zoned.



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 Post subject: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 4:40 pm 
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Damn I got ripped for this. You guys got it. I'm falling back on oh gurl, the classic friend zone story. I fucked up, and I'm embarrassed about it. I don't know if we will ever be friends again. EDIT: SHE JUST WENT BACK TO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS NORMAL.
I pulled a bunch of moves trying to be her friend first and it just didn't work out. Thanks for all your feed back, its nice to have other perspectives. I originally had a a lengthy story but I left out a lot of details to keep it more PG 13 and to not incriminate myself, and I felt the responses were misguided but legit in their analysis. People I kept posted on every lil thing praised/scolded me for moves I would make that got ripped to shreds on here without the full context, but I realized I have created a pattern that I can break to get my dumb ass out of this friend zone. So thanks to all for your honest input I truly appreciate it.

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Last edited by coolhomieo on Mon Oct 03, 2016 1:33 am, edited 7 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 4:57 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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The problem was that you didn't try anything with her. You just sat around hoping that she would pick up on your hints that you were throwing out. She knew exactly how you felt but since you didn't act, she was free to enjoy the attention and gifts you gave her.

I'm willing to bet that she actually did like you early on, but over time it wore off.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 5:06 pm 
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Ouch man, what are you thinking, buying her gifts will get her into her pants? You spent too much time together without making a move. Don't ever be that person unless you just want to be friends.

Its not like you ruined any chances, but most likely she has a guy she is seeing or something now so it might take some time to get out of the friend zone. Anyways, you could always agree with just be friends get her out again and start making moves and escalate., maybe start hitting on girls while you are out with her, maybe that will help to.

But ya, not much else to do, you can invite her out for some drinks and see where that goes. Or drop all contact for awhile and start again fresh after reading some books.


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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 5:14 pm 
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Ouch man, what are you thinking, buying her gifts will get her into her pants? You spent too much time together without making a move. Don't ever be that person unless you just want to be friends.

Its not like you ruined any chances, but most likely she has a guy she is seeing or something now so it might take some time to get out of the friend zone. Anyways, you could always agree with just be friends get her out again and start making moves and escalate., maybe start hitting on girls while you are out with her, maybe that will help to.

But ya, not much else to do, you can invite her out for some drinks and see where that goes. Or drop all contact for awhile and start again fresh after reading some books.
I mean I didn't shower her with gifts. Over a years time I maybe gave her three items. But I think ur right prolly got a a new guy or some shit happening Ima jus back off and see what happens.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 7:13 pm 
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Quote:
So I met this girl through a group a friends, she keeps to herself a lot and doesn't really have many friends at all and is proud to admit that. In about a month or so of seeing her through the group I ended up getting her phone number under the pretenses of seeing Kobe Bryant play a bit later in the year. It's January when these plans are made. The game isn't until April, so between that time I would hit her up once a week and even got her something for Valentines day. I picked her up from her house and said "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY" and gave her a pink camo shirt. Didn't get FriendZoned, so I'm thinking okay I'm on the right track. I even found out that she doesn't rock with pink like that so I turned around and got her a lil soccer jersey of her nationality, and when she got it she was noticeably surprised. She said "How did you know where I'm from?". She forgot that she told me a while before that, but the jersey ended up being to big, go figure....

So for months after that I would only hang with her around the group aside from the rare meet up at school or the one time she went to the mall with me. At this point I would pick her up from her house to drop her off to hang with he group, and it got to the point where all the guys in the group would say she's my GF right in front of her. The comments always were ignored by me and her every time though, so up until late May early June she had hit me up one day asking me to pick her up from work. Mind you I live less than a mile from where she works, and less than 4 miles from where she lives. So I GLADLY took the the responsibility of picking her up from work for like 89% of the summer. Each time I had her I would smoke with her to hang with a her bit longer. Sometimes I would even pay for her food at times, so I prolly got about 45mins-1.30hrs extra after work just to pick her brain, and she REALLLY opened up to me in time sharing intimate details about her family and work and anything remedial.
So the summer goes by we seem to be getting closer and closer, like she would offer to buy my food n shit like that. The spending on each other never went past like food or simple gifts for birthdays (hers). I gave a iron pressed beaded logo of her city, to which she snapchatted me "thanks" with it in the picture. She even wore it ONCE. Never saw it again tho. I also have given jogger pants I bought online that were to small for me (years old clothes I never wore), and she wears em all the time. Even teased me bout how they fit her and I'm a man and blah blah you know.

So everything going smooth, she's hitting me up to hang out for lunch, when the house is empty for anything really, but I never made an overt move on her like that for her to just turn me down, but I have thrown lil jabs out to see and I was not turned down. I have even witnessed her turn guys down, I have heard stories on how she turned guys down that were using the same things I was doing to get her attention through texts. She even said she can tell when a guy likes her, so you know WOMEN are covert with their advances so I took that as a good sign to stick around. Recently she got a car to go to work she's young 20 yrs old from her mom and didn't need me for rides no more, but we would still hang out after she got off work like it was part of our schedule. Till out of the WHOLE COLOR OF BLUE she sends me a text EARLY in the morning. "Hey you do know we won't ever be anything other than just friends.. I just wanted to make sure you know bc I don't want you thinking I'm leading you on in any other way." I didn't make a big deal out of it. I just asked her where is this coming from? What did I do? She said she has lost friends in the past cuz of it and wanted to be clear, and that I didn't do anything. She even agreed to tell me the same thing in person, only thing is she coudn't/didn't want to answer the question I had. "Why didn't you tell me a long time ago?" cause it's almost been a year, and she is KNOWN for friendzoning ppl fast. She just shrugged and didn't answer and said there's nothing to talk about and that she was clear in what she said......I just feel like she could have told me a long time ago, or gave me a signal to make a move, because I promise I was waiting on one, but I swear she never gave me a chance. So maybe it was it exactly what it was. Just a friend....
5 years youve been on this forum, and this is the shit happening to you. Hard luck, but this is what happens when you fail to improve yourself and put in the real work to get better with women.


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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 8:07 pm 
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[/quote]

5 years youve been on this forum, and this is the shit happening to you. Hard luck, but this is what happens when you fail to improve yourself and put in the real work to get better with women.[/quote]


I was a very very young man when I first joined and have made tremendous strides, I think she just wasn't that into me from the beginning the more that I think about it. We are real cool, and that's saying something because I'm one of her very few friends. I just found it odd how we both knew I was in the friendzone but she felt the need to make it known, and not only that, but she made it a permanent thing.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 8:29 pm 
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Quote:
5 years youve been on this forum, and this is the shit happening to you. Hard luck, but this is what happens when you fail to improve yourself and put in the real work to get better with women.[/quote]


I was a very very young man when I first joined and have made tremendous strides, I think she just wasn't that into me from the beginning the more that I think about it. We are real cool, and that's saying something because I'm one of her very few friends. I just found it odd how we both knew I was in the friendzone but she felt the need to make it known, and not only that, but she made it a permanent thing.[/quote]


What tremendous strides? You met a chick, and didnt even make a move. You have looked at things such as her wearing something you bought her ONCE. What the hell. I wouldnt even expect this from a 16 year old, 2 weeks after finding this forum. You have no excuses. You failed to apply ANYTHING you can read here, you failed to put effort into actually improving yourself. A guy who puts a month of effort, doesnt look at a chick liking his post as some sign. And a guy who actually reads anything here, knows not to wait a month, damn a year to make a move. This one incident, is just a sign of someone who is clueless with women. Every sentence made me cringe. You really think meeting a chick and liking her instagram photos is something to do? Buying gifts for Vday and bday is something to do? My advice, slap yourself, and put in the work. Because how good must your dating prospects, success, and confidence be if these are the moves you made?


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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 8:47 pm 
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Quote:
So I met this girl through a group a friends, first time I seen her I paid her no mind (because I assumed she was somoneone GF) but some hours went by and I figured out she was single. So I got her ask her name n age and her instagram. Might have been that day or the next I ended up liking about 5 of her pics on instagram.



Lame.


Quote:
I ended up getting her phone number under the pretenses of seeing Kobe Bryant play a bit later in the year. It's January when these plans are made. The game isn't until April, so between that time I would hit her up once a week and even got her something for Valentines day.
WTF?



You made a date with her four months out, and then got her a Valentine's day present without even kissing her?

I'm going to be brutally honest: This is weak ass chode behavior and completely unacceptable. I say this only to help you.

Quote:
I picked her up from her house and said "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY" and gave her a pink camo shirt. Didn't get FriendZoned, so I'm thinking okay I'm on the right track.
This is horrible.
Quote:
I even found out that she doesn't rock with pink like that so I turned around and got her a lil soccer jersey of her nationality, and when she got it she was noticeably surprised. She said "How did you know where I'm from?". She forgot that she told me a while before that, but the jersey ended up being to big, go figure....
WTF?



Quote:
So I GLADLY took the the responsibility of picking her up from work for like 89% of the summer.
Okay, I think we might be entering troll territory here.
Quote:
"Hey you do know we won't ever be anything other than just friends.. I just wanted to make sure you know bc I don't want you thinking I'm leading you on in any other way." I didn't make a big deal out of it.
This is a cool girl. Most will keep leading you on for their own attention. Be grateful for her honesty, she's doing you a favor.



Quote:
I just asked her where is this coming from? What did I do? She said she has lost friends in the past cuz of it and wanted to be clear, and that I didn't do anything. She even agreed to tell me the same thing in person, only thing is she coudn't/didn't want to answer the question I had. "Why didn't you tell me a long time ago?" cause it's almost been a year, and she is KNOWN for friendzoning ppl fast.
So you got "lucky" because she didn't friendzone you as fast as others? haha, what a terrible mentality to have.

Quote:
She just shrugged and didn't answer and said there's nothing to talk about and that she was clear in what she said......I just feel like she could have told me a long time ago, or gave me a signal to make a move, because I promise I was waiting on one, but I swear she never gave me a chance. So maybe it was it exactly what it was. Just a friend....

It's over. You have no hope, ever, of being physical with this girl.

Had you at least had oral sex with her and she said this, you might have a chance.

It is extremely important, as a man, to lead and escalate with a woman as fast as possible within context. Your failure to lead and dominate has caused a lot of pain.

This entire post, your entire plan is a complete waste of time. Move on, game other woman and learn as much as you can from this.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 8:52 pm 
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You are all probably right. I don't agree with everything you guys have said for I did leave out a lot of things but I failed horribly. I needed to hear that thanks for all of ur input I need some more major self improvement because I thought I had come a long way but I still got a long way to go.

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Don't light the dynamite, then get mad at the explosion.....WHAT DID YOU EXPECT??


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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:05 pm 
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Don't take the honest feedback as you needing "major improvement" all around. My comments only apply to this very specific situation you posted about.

You could/might have tremendous qualities, but still suck with women. A lot of men are like that.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:25 pm 
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Quote:
Don't take the honest feedback as you needing "major improvement" all around. My comments only apply to this very specific situation you posted about.

You could/might have tremendous qualities, but still suck with women. A lot of men are like that.
I don't suck with women. I have had slow cookers like this before that just took a long time for a move to be made, but I did make covert moves that she noticed. I never like asked her to suck my dick or went for cheap ass/boob grabs, but she knew what was up, there was no hiding it. So she had to have just been using me and started to feel bad about it.

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Don't light the dynamite, then get mad at the explosion.....WHAT DID YOU EXPECT??


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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:37 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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Quote:
Quote:
Don't take the honest feedback as you needing "major improvement" all around. My comments only apply to this very specific situation you posted about.

You could/might have tremendous qualities, but still suck with women. A lot of men are like that.
I don't suck with women. I have had slow cookers like this before that just took a long time for a move to be made, but I did make covert moves that she noticed. I never like asked her to suck my dick or went for cheap ass/boob grabs, but she knew what was up, there was no hiding it. So she had to have just been using me and started to feel bad about it.
I think you may be in denial. Slow cookers, covert moves, and blaming her for using you are all excuses for your inability to make the necessary effort for seduction. You can't expect positive results if you're waiting for her to say it's okay for you to pursue something more than friendship.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:45 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Don't take the honest feedback as you needing "major improvement" all around. My comments only apply to this very specific situation you posted about.

You could/might have tremendous qualities, but still suck with women. A lot of men are like that.
I don't suck with women. I have had slow cookers like this before that just took a long time for a move to be made, but I did make covert moves that she noticed. I never like asked her to suck my dick or went for cheap ass/boob grabs, but she knew what was up, there was no hiding it. So she had to have just been using me and started to feel bad about it.
I think you may be in denial. Slow cookers, covert moves, and blaming her for using you are all excuses for your inability to make the necessary effort for seduction. You can't expect positive results if you're waiting for her to say it's okay for you to pursue something more than friendship.
I know I can't wait for her to SAY OKAY COME GET IT, but I know signals and vibes as good as the next man, and the only play I believe I left on the field was when she brought up how she dropped the blunt between her boobs, but I maybe in denial IDK man this friendzone message came out of no where to me, like I said before I knew my position for I had aimed to get to her friendzone because she doesn't have many at all. So I took her emotional information and what not as interest because she is so private, but I was just someone she trusted enough to tell her problems to.

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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:57 pm 
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It could be a lot of things I really shouldn't have posted this here, for the context just isn't all the way there after re-reading, and these responses are 100% justified, but I think that is because I omitted so much info that would make my cringe worthy moves make more sense. I have yet to really receive a decent answer as to why the aburpt direct "we just friends" message when it seemed like things were escalating with each interaction. I left out all the petty sexual flirts and what not IDK if that would change ur responses or not but I'm really just taken back by all this I feel like she don't even wanna be involved with me any more because I did something to offend her.

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Don't light the dynamite, then get mad at the explosion.....WHAT DID YOU EXPECT??


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 Post subject: Re: I Got Friend Zoned.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 10:40 pm 
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Quote:

I don't suck with women.
You sucked with that woman, and that's all we have to go by.

Quote:
I have had slow cookers like this before that just took a long time for a move to be made
That's weak. The sooner you move on from this mentality, the better you will do.


Quote:
but I did make covert moves that she noticed.
Covert moves are what get you friend zoned. Like what just happened.

Quote:
I never like asked her to suck my dick or went for cheap ass/boob grabs
Why would these be your only options? Why not go in for a passionate kiss?

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