Hey,

About 5 years ago I was a student studying biomedical sciences, but I went into software development as a career.

I just lost my job in software development. My whole social circle was at work and I am isolated.

While job-hunting, I decided to work on my laptop at the med school library.

I'm in my mid 30's and I see a lot of cute 22-28 year old girls there. Some of them check me out, because I'm decent looking and pay close attention to the way I dress. I dress my age, I own it. I look mature and refined.

I am a white male and I prefer white women. The white girls are in always big study groups with dudes involved, whereas the foreign girls are usually by themselves or in groups with other foreign girls.

White women are idealized in almost every culture and they know this.

The flip side is, white men (like me) are also idealized which makes a white man (like me) attractive to a foreign woman. I notice that I get a lot of looks from foreign girls, like light-skinned Middle-Eastern girls.

I don't feel like I would be uncomfortable approaching foreigners, because I get along well with foreigners. If I say something stupid, they usually don't know the difference because they assume it's a cultural thing!! It's true, you can get away with saying dumb shit more often.

So here's my question. I am most attracted to the white women. Is it okay, though, for me to start out on my "training wheels" by approaching foreign women, just to build more social proof than sitting alone?

Is this going to lower my value in the eyes of white women, just because of the stigma about desperate white guys who don't feel "good enough" for a white woman?

Maybe this will raise my value in the eyes of white women, though! Think about it... If I were a white girl, maybe I'd be like "what am I doing wrong?! I'm white. I'm supposed to be the ideal standard of beauty... why is he approaching her and not me?!"

I lost my job, and I just want to be able to sit down and talk with a girl and work on my laptop at the same table as her. Not even necessarily talk that much. Just sit at the same table and work. I prefer to work at the same table as someone else who is also working. Helps me feel less alone.

I'm not even trying to pull anyone at this point. I'm just trying to make friends. Technically I'm not supposed to be in the library since I'm not a student anymore, so I need to make sure the people I sit with are cool with me being there... Pretty sure I can pull this off with foreign women but I want to migrate toward the white women once I feel comfortable.

Any thoughts? I know I'm twisted up inside. Please help.

I'm going to be honest, I started reading this with every intention of supplying advice if I could, but the whole thought process going on there weirded me out. I really don't like to think how any of the women in that library would react if you voiced anything like the above to them!

What country are you in BTW?

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Blog: VitaBrevis Forum: Scotland Lair

What makes you think that foreign women will be more receptive to you? Those girls are human beings, man, not "training wheels" to practice on! The very fact that you think you need to game those foreign girls in order to get white girls just indicates that you put women on a pedestal and therefore are needy.

You sound little desperate, plus don't know if you noticed but you are waaay overthinking.

Your focus shouldn't be on the girls.

Build attractive lifestyle first.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

I can tell that you are somewhat a bit socially underdeveloped and have a lot of ideas that do not necessarily reflect reality.

First off, there's NOTHING wrong with having a preference, but I think your understanding of basic sexual norms is significantly lacking.

You will not automatically attract "foreign" women because you're white, nor will white women magically be afraid to engage because they are "idealized in every culture".

First off, as Cross De Luna said, work on building an attractive lifestyle. Become more social. Begin attending parties and gatherings, HOSTING events, meeting new people. Get your social skills up to par then focus on approaching women.

Where are you from?

If you are in America SMH you are wayyyy behind man. MID 30s? Asking permission to sit at a table with girls in a library on a forum????? JUST LOOKING TO MAKE FRIENDS????

--------------------------> WTTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFF?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm trying to figure out where to start. You must know a lil something because like you said you present yourself well. Of course you're going to stand out at a college if you have a little $ bc most students are in debt!

Why not talk to all of them? Why limit yourself?

Okok. I am messed up. I get that... So is there anyone here who can say "just be cool, you'll be alright. calm down and think about this?"

I'm not like this all of the time, it's just the trauma I've experienced recently has really screwed with my head.

My employer fired me for getting sick. Now I have to go through a lawsuit with one of the largest companies in my area. It's scary.

I'm in bad shape. Let's try to find a silver lining in this....

You got fired and are now in a lawsuit? Who is taking who to court?

Where are you geographically that would help people understand the social dynamics..

This posting is just gross.

Go get counselling.

Well it seems like the viewpoints of the PUA community have changed.

The impression I got from reading Roosh V and watching Mystery videos is that the whole PUA scene is based on manipulation and deception.

Mystery referred to specific women as "pawns" used to get to the "queen" and things like that.

Roosh objectifies women and talks pretty candidly about how foreign women view USA men and vice-versa.

I don't think it's unrealistic to say that white people are idealized. I'm not saying it's right or proper. I'm just saying that commercial culture and Hollywood have made things this way.

Malcom X says, in his own autobiography, that before he converted to Islam he was hung up on white women because he was brainwashed into believing they represented the social ideal.

Then, there are studies of dating preferences and surveys that show, using statistics, that there are certain interracial preferences that are stronger than others.

For example, these studies show that Asian women have a strong preference towards white men. These studies also show that white women are strongly biased against Asian men.

The way I put it sounds bad but I am parroting stuff I read in articles like this:

"All women except black women are most drawn to white men, and men of all races (with one notable exception) prefer Asian women." --> http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/ ... sian-women

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/race- ... 2009-2014/
http://www.theestablishment.co/2015/10/ ... tchmaking/

Writings from a black journalist:
http://gawker.com/the-reality-of-dating ... 1585401039
"Let's be real, blonde hair and blue eyes are fucking attractive and thinking that doesn't mean you're a piece of shit who gives those features inherent value over the features of other races."

Anyways, I understand that my post is offensive. I appreciate the feedback you guys have given me and I'll try to work on my thought process so that I can at least learn from my mistakes here.

I'm not going to give up on trying to improve the way I relate to people. The reason it has taken this long is because I heard the same things you guys are saying way back when I was younger and I just "dropped out" and became a hermit instead of trying to face things head on. I want to change and I am willing to endure a good amount of trauma to overcome the hurdles and obstacles I am facing.

All of the other shit aside.. I never thought I'd hear of a WHITE guy thinking about race when he wants WHITE women.

I guess love is love and race doesn't matter much in the end, but there's still a tendency for me toward white women.

So, you're pointing out how everyone gives a pass to people from other races who want white women, but if I'm white, I get taunted for wanting white women?

I definitely don't think I should be criticized for saying I prefer my own race.

Some psychologists say that we seek out people who resemble our parents, because our parents are the only thing we see for the first 2 years of our lives.

Racism is an issue worldwide and is responsible for most of the violence on this planet, I agree.

But wanting to date within your own race isn't racist, if there's a biological drive towards this.

There are many things in life that are almost a pure 100% mental game. A large part of attracting girls is about your thought process surrounding them. As others pointed out you are just way too much up in your head. Get out of it.

Stop typing on here and go talk to girls IRL in the library.

So, basically you showed some studies that indicated that women of all races are more likely to respond positively to a white male. And you're white. So why exactly do you think that you have to get with foreign women to "impress" white girls? You think just by the fact that they're white, they're somehow any different?

I'm not white -- my skin color is naturally tan -- and the only girls I've ever been with are white. Seriously, stop being a pussy, grow some balls, and approach women you're interested in rather than come up with excuses on what you need to do first. The only thing you should be doing is building a better life for yourself first and foremost, and then approaching women on the side when you spot someone you are interested in.

You may also want to look into online dating.