Hope everyone is well here boys and girls. Trying to keep this one short but need to add a bit of background.
Alright so couple of months ago I met some chick. Because there is a slight age difference between the two of us ~5 years …early 20s on my side, I wasn’t really interested in anything as I was also involved with a girl at that time…whos out of the picture now.
Anyways we kept bumping into each other and eventually became friends…went out a few times, I know she was looking for a pull but turned her down…don’t judge. So few months down the line, we pretty much are close friends now. We talk about everything there is to talk about on a daily basis, and I’m starting to regret putting her in the friendzone (big surprise) or whatever you want to call it, since we get along very well. It actually has come to the point where I can’t stand to hear it when she tells me that she pulled some dude etc. so clearly the entire thing is getting a bit unhealthy and I’m getting sick of it.

I haven’t told her how I feel about her by now (guess that could be a starting point) but I don’t want to risk losing that friendship or her, as we get along so well and I could imagine this going further… which doesn’t happen too often to me, since I usually don’t let girls get that close to me. Again don’t judge.
So how does one go to recover from that? Just get slushed and hook her, or any other ideas?

Turned out to be a bit longer then expected.
But if anyone actually made it this far, shot for the read, and hoping for some advice here.

Shot.

Start treating her not like a friend ?

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ok,loose her as a friend,does she sees you as a man or merely a friend?if pulling her is what you want,then do it,is it man to woman when you talk to her,or friend to friend?

Stop.

Wanting to bang a friend = fine. Liking a friend as more than a friend = fine. Feeling some kind of way when a chick who is not with you bangs some dude = crazy, and needy. It's not the situation...its YOU. You're needy already and possessive over a chick thats not yours to even be possessive of. You can make a move and get her. Or you can stop hanging out with her or whatever. But you'll still be needy and you'll still have a tendency to get way too serious way too early. Maybe you can get her, but whats next? If when she hasnt even fucked you you're feeling jealousy, what happens when she's your gf and she doesnt text back for a couple hrs or goes out with friends. Kill the neediness first.

I dont know to be honest. We didnt hang out much lately, since I was on holidays, and so was she, so mostly just texting which can sometimes make it a bit difficult to judge.
But since I noticed that I do in fact want more, I also started to sexualize our conversations a bit more etc. and she definitely picked up on it. However the fact that she told me that while drunk she made out with some dude, makes me think that she does after all only see us as friends now.

She isn't your girl. She can do whatever she wants. And she does see you as a friend.

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This is where it all started from:
Lesson learnt? Chase more women and really get involved with pick up. Stop dabbling and earn your reps.

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Yeah I have to agree with you to a certain point. But its a fucked up situation as well, at least for me. I never really talked this much to a girl outside of a relationship, and then about stuff I probably wouldnt even talk to most people about. But dont get me wrong, I'm not being possessive or anything, since like you already said there is nothing defined here. I just dont know how to phrase it differently. But I dont have a problem with her or myself still hooking up. Just discussing it, is what I'm over with...but maybe that was because I was a bit high at the time. Anyways possessive no, needy maybe a little...gotta admit. But that is nothing I can just switch off.

Blunt but honest af. Was hoping youd come across this topic Dragula. Well like I said we both haven't seen each other in a relatively long time, so in person wasn't possible. She is coming back this week, and we already made plans now, which is why I wanted to think this one through.
And no, she didnt throw me that curve ball to keep me in the friendzone. Like I said, I put her there, and we often used to talk about those kind of topics, so its nothing unusual. Those conversations went both ways.

But fuck I get your guys points. Not a problem I usually had with a casual exercise buddy etc.

I don't buy this, and it comes off as some kind of ego preservation rationalization.

When a man friend zone's a girl, it completely fucks her mentally, because it almost never happens to attractive women (8,9,10's). This causes women to chase or be very receptive to physicality.

From what you described in most of this thread, you're chasing her.

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Quoted for truth. This happens when the girl wants to ride your cock and you turn her down. The chasing though stops at a certain point.

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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

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I've had several female friends that I turned down as prospective dating partners ('friend zoned').

I also had one of them, who is a close friend now, tell me she gave up on having anything sexual with me after 5 months because she was dropping hints and I wasn't responsive to them so she assumed a lack of interest. We did end up sleeping together for a time, but I stopped that as I saw the complications that'd pose for the friendship once either of us got involved with another.

This whole friend zone thing is not black and white, its grey.

If a girl is attracted to you, acting as a friend won't necessarily turn her off from you so long as she sees some value in you. I've had girls where for weeks I made 0 overtures toward and then boom, we end up fucking.

In my estimation the friend zone happens when a woman no longer FEELS desired by a man she's even mildly or remotely interested in.

It's a woman's feeling desired thats the biggest turn-on for her. Once that flame dies it very difficult for it to be lit again. Certainly not impossible, however.

I would certainly re-evaluate your behavior around her, and engage in some more flirting, touching etc, push the envelop a bit. It is quite possible she's just waiting for you to man-up and make a move. At least this way u'll find out.

This, it's that simple.

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Go out with her and up the ante - flirting, touching and ultimately go for a kiss. Make some sexually charged remarks about her during that time (body parts, clothing, etc.)

You said you talk about anything with her? How intimate have your conversations been? Have either of you opened up emotionally to one another? Whatever the case is, try to go even further in being open emotionally, flirty, etc. You need to make that date night with her when you're going to make your move feel different from your previous ones.

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Likes attract likes. All comments are geared towards generating lasting attraction for the purpose of a relationship with a well-rounded female (attractive, well educated and cultured, plus knows what she wants in her work and personal life).

You only regret putting her in the friend zone now, because you don't have any other high quality prospects that you are dealing with.

If you were to meet a girl today who you found more attractive that you were also more emotionally connected with you would quickly be reminded of why you put this girl in the friend zone is the first place. I'd say preserve the friendship and put your focus on actually meeting quality women. After all, thats what the basis of this forum is all about.

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