I am bugged by this situation:

GF basically tells me she is going to go eat at this sit-down burger place right next to her work with a guy coworker of hers that I have never met before after she gets off work (she is a waitress). I trust that she won't cheat (I do have a mild fear of it, however) and I'm fairly certain that the coworker is aware that she has a BF cuz from what I've seen/heard my GF always tells dudes she has a BF. It is still bugging me though because the guy is probably trying to **** her and sees this eating after work as a "date" opportunity....So I am bugged by the whole thing especially because I have no idea how I'm supposed to react.

When I was on the phone with her I was very unreactive and was actually surprised she would even be open about telling me that, but then the annoyance dawned on me like 5 minutes after hanging up.

On one hand, if I say something she may think it is possessive, and she'll make a naive comment about how he's "just a friend", but we know guys rarely go eat with a girl they aren't trying to ****...there's almost always an angle.

On the other hand, it's bugging me because I wouldn't hangout with a new girl I just met 1on1 out of respect for my GF and our dope ass relationship...it would seem disrespectful and unethical.

What the hell do I even do or how do I react? I know she's not cheating or anything, but it just seriously annoys the **** out of me.

We have an amazing and loving relationship, we have some arguments but resolve them very well and mature, nothing like this has come up since we started dating.

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When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

Well, this sucks, been there.

The answer is to play it cool. Assume you're the catch.

You and I both know these "friends" only want to fuck the girls. It's that simple. They are beta's, male orbiters, whatever.

But over the years I have found that freedom and slight indifference will make you stand out to your girlfriend. If you act like you're fearful of this dude banging your girl, it will have an attraction lowering effect. You're the catch. You have no worries...if she cheats, you'll find better, etc.

However, in your situation I wouldn't appreciate the one on one time. I'm cool with group outings.

I do not act possessive or needy. I simply tell whoever happens to be my gf at the time that I was asked out for a drink from a girl who is "just friends". And I'll up the ante and make it a 9 pm type of thing. This will usually get the girl to freak out, and I'll simply say "hey, I was cool with you and John at the burger place. " This of course will conclude in a talk about boundaries, with her bringing it up. And thus no more one on one time with John.

Girls are emotional beings, and often times logic and explanations are lost on them with matters of the heart.

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Wow, that's pretty genius, should I do that like sometime this week? And so basically just not mention anything at all about it, until she brings up boundaries after I do what you said you have done in the past right?

You think me bringing up boundaries first right away then is a bad idea? Cuz personally, I do not spend time 1on1 with new girls just because I respect our relationship, and so I would expect the same from her, I def feel like it is weird of her to do, she is very naive of the fact that guys don't pursue girls as friends, and when I tried to explain that to her she sounded even stupider about it lmao (as expected).

Everyone else I've asked on other forums is mostly saying to mention it right away.

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When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

Unless she's given you a reason to ever doubt her, you've gotta trust her man.

This looks like your issue, not the relationships don't make it that.

I do think its fine to bring up with her without pointing fingers so that means staying with you and how you feel, not bringing her into it but that you feel a bit anxious about it.

Yea I see what you mean there too, so how would YOU go about talking to her about it? and also,

What do you think of the other guy's little plan? I feel like it's best of both worlds, get to be unreactive-ish and also eventually talk to her about it.

_________________
When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

Don't do what the other guy suggested , tit for tat only breeds insecurity in relationships its only a passive aggressive tactic

Well what's the core need in question here? Security?

I'm curious op... How would you respond if a female coworker suggested grabbing a drink at happy hour next door?

Why don't you ask her how she'd feel if the situation was reversed and it was you going for sit-down lunch with a female coworker?

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Likes attract likes. All comments are geared towards generating lasting attraction for the purpose of a relationship with a well-rounded female (attractive, well educated and cultured, plus knows what she wants in her work and personal life).

make like a banana and split, make like a tree and leave, make like a guy masterbating in reverse and go

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If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

If a female coworker asked me to get drinks I'd say yes, but it doesn't feel like the same thing to me.

I guess you are correct about the one tactic being passive aggressive, it's clever but i don't want to breed insecurity in the relationship.

She ended up texting me a few hours later and saying "Hey I'm not going anywhere with my coworker anymore, do you still want to hangout?".

So I ended up seeing her right after she got off, she met up with me and we fucked.

I won't bring it up for now, unless it becomes an actual problem. I should have set my boundaries earlier on, I never mentioned anything about that sort of shit so I can see why she would assume it's no big deal.

_________________
When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

the seeds have been planted.

beware the ides of march meaning!

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

the seeds have been planted.

beware the ides of march meaning!

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

^^pay no attention to this jagoff he's been on that rock again.

Look man, I'll be honest with you.

I've been that coworker a few times in the past year and a half. It doesn't matter to me if girls have boyfriends as long as I'm interested. And I'm not necessarily looking for relationships.

The thing is this, women are not stupid. They know what's up. If she accepts, at the very least she's curious and is keeping her options open.
And every single time I did have sex with a coworker that was otherwise in a relationship, it was always a less than ideal relationship. They were not particularly happy.

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Look... Why are you being afraid of asking what's up with that. Yes, you should not come across as needy, or possessive, just ask her something in the lines of: "Do I have to worry about that guy?"

And taking a stand is not possessive, if it still bothers you just say that you don't like that she's hanging out with the guy one-on-one after work. And then fuck her brains out. Like someone already said girls are not stupid, don't be surprised when she tells you you're a good guy but she's seeing someone else.

Be a man in relationship and set firm rules.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.