I was just curious how some of you handle cancellations.

I'm starting to have a good amount of abundance so this isnt coming from a scarcity mindset. There is a girl Ive been talking to for about a week and a half now and she seems really interested, even text me yesterday to make sure we were still on for tonight and said she was looking forward to it. Then just a little while ago she text and said "you're gonna hate me" her brother was getting evicted today and needed to stay with her so she was cancelling with me for the third time now.

She was concerned that I was mad at her but i just said "No Im not mad its just this is the third cancel so maybe its not meant to be".

I have several other options so its no sweat to cross her off the list but I was kinda wondering if I shouldn't have just to see if it happened sometime in the future. I just feel like Ive wasted effort that I could have been putting into other girls...

All her excuses seemed legit but I question when enough is enough and to just let it go.

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I personally never entirely cross a girl off unless she directly stands me up. if she cancels before im there its ok. but after the 2nd to third time, depending on the girl and reasons etc i wont ask her out again, ill let her make that move and my main focus will definitely move to another girl.

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Girl cancels = ok no problem. Let's meet at my place next time before the date so I don't have to worry about your flaking (teasing way). Then set the date for an evening you don't care about or didn't have plans for. Now she's meeting you at yours.

Yeah she text me back saying "I promise I really want to hang out". So I said "okay I'll leave it in your hands let me know when would be a good day for you and we'll see if we can make it work". She text back "okay I promise I will". I won't be texting her...

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"I didn't fail 10,000 times... I just found 10,000 ways that didn't work"

I usually give it 4 attempts before I forget about them.

I don't have a lot of spare time as I work and am still in high school. So my time is really valuable to me.

I also don't drive, my parents aren't willing to take me places, so getting to the mall on weekends and relying on public transport on Sundays here is a pain in the ass.

So my situation is pretty bad. When I get a car and can drive places things might become better, but still.

Story time:
I remember once, I was on the bus to the mall, I shit you not, I got a text from the chick I was meant to meet as the bus was rolling into the mall. I felt so pissed off. I asked her to arrange a time that was convenient for her and she told me she'd get back to me with a day. She never got back to me.

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Twice.

An interested woman will find 25 hours in a day for you as Dragula says. And it's true.

Sometimes critical shit may pop up. It happens. But it happens rarely. "Dinner with mom", "cousin visiting" and the similar are not critical.

So twice. I don't care if the second time seems genuinely legit. It's still me wasting my time and if her life is that chaotic, maybe she shouldn't be dating in the first place.

Her brother got evicted. Fine. So? Does he need to be babysat, cooked for and fed? I don't see how having a temporary roommate is equivalent to putting your life on hold, so again it boils down to either her finding excuses, or her having a hard time defining her priorities. Whichever it is, it's up to her to get her shit together. You should not be waiting around until she decides to do so.

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I do twice. I don't count legitimate reasons as a flake. Works for me. I don't even register it as a flake any more because I ask about two or three girls for a date on the same day. Whoever says yes first, is getting the date. Whoever confirms first, is getting the date. It's like trials with me, if they all say yes, then they have to go through the confirmation round. Sometimes only one of them confirms and the other two have things that come up. Like I said it works out

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Depends on the girl.

Depends on the situation.

If its a pattern that's not somebody I'd want to spend my time with. My time is valuable and if you don't see that then that's your problem, bye.

I usually do 3 times. After that, I just forget them. Just don't burn bridge aka going out of your way to call her out or insult her. You never know. Somewhere down the road she might just hit you up again. But generally after 3 invites, the ball is in her court. If she contacts me again to reschedule, sure. If not, no problem.

It all comes down to abundance honestly. If you have only one girl to game or date, you're gonna overthinking too much and eventually act needy and fuck it up. Always be talking to at least 2-3 girls per week. That's what works for me.

Also I found that straight sexting increases the chance of flaking. Discreet sexually flirting and innuendos do wonders.

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If she really likes you, she'll want to hang out with you. If a girl ignores me 2 or 3 times, I just forget about them. They love the attention and when they are not getting it, they will chase you for your it.

If I i'm busy with abundance, I don't give her a 2nd try unless it's a reasonable cancellation



- Family member is sick
- work
- Tired
- Busy

These ^ Are all flake excuses.


Cancellations are:

Her - 'Hey, sorry, my friends from outta town have surprised me, can we reschedule?'
Me- 'No worries, thanks for letting me know, have a good night. See you soon'

See the difference?

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Depends on the circumstance.


I'd met a girl from POF the other day in person after talking for 2 days. I was taken aback by her beauty in person, as cute as she was in her photos, she looked even better in person. I felt myself almost instinctively prizing her so I reframed quickly, though the nerves were still a bit frail. I had actually left the meet up thinking she wasn't interested, the reality however was she felt I wasn't interested. Once we got past all the bullshit, I took the lead and scheduled a day date with her for Monday, to which she'd agreed. She also asked if I would go with her today to some animal faire.

This morning she wakes up late after a late night shift (she's a nurse). Tells me w/o acknowledging her invite, that she's going to go to the faire with her girlfriend.

Do I count that as a flake? Not really. It'd take me about 40 minutes to get to her, and she works at 3pm. Again, its how you frame it. As for my plans with her tomorrow, if she does pull-out I will consider that a flake and back off. I've indicated interest, and I know she didn't feel I was interested from our meet the other day, so I am making sure she's aware of it now.

If she doesn't reciprocate OR is one of those girls who expects the guy to bend over backwards and chase, she's not going to get very far with me and fails my qualification.

Point of this is its grey, not black and white. Use your judgment but also listen to what your instincts tell you.

If she's a friend you can give it all kinds of chances. If she's a random from a cold approach maybe one time and a reschedule.

Instead of trashing the number though you can keep it for party invites. She may not be interested in you but you can throw bbqs and keggers and send mass invites to flakey girls. You can have theme party's like all white, all black, Halloween, pirate party, fake mustache party, ugly sweater party, etc. Etc. Just tell them they can Bring +2 and no extra guys you don't know unless they ask. This probably won't result in you getting with that specific girl and lots will still flake but some girls will come and you can try with their friends and hook lots of your buddies up with girls to talk to, it's pretty win/win.