I Need to Salvage This



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 Post subject: I Need to Salvage This
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:57 pm 
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Hey guys, excuse me if this thread doesn't belong here. I was skimming through other threads looking for help in a similar situation, but didn't find enough so I made my own. Sorry for the length, but I'm adding some details to answer questions I might get. I'm not totally clueless with women, but I feel like I should have better game.

I used to work with this girl. She had a boyfriend, but I could tell she was interested in me. We're friends on some social media. She's single now and I messaged her to catch up. I asked her out after a couple days and she was down. I asked for her number and I got it. I scheduled a date a few days in advance and she was all for it. Her responses were pretty quick (I sometimes responded quickly - I know, that's problem #1)

I tried to confirm the date with her the day before. Her responses took longer than normal (I know, I'm being a bitch thinking about it). I went to bed and woke up to a text from the night before asking to reschedule with an emoji. I asked what happened and she said she "threw up" because she "barely ate anything yesterday and felt sick and nauseous". So you know, typical flake BS. I asked her when she wanted to reschedule (mistake?) and she said "hmmm not sure".

I wasn't in the mood and I said "ok, so you don't want to anymore. It's fine". I thought it was done. I was ready to move on like usual and not get a response from her, but I got one pretty fast saying she does, but she's "busy a lot". She works and goes to school, I guess it's legit. She said maybe we can go Friday (it was Wednesday). I wanted to leave her hanging, so I didn't respond. A few hours later she texts again saying, "nevermind, I can't on friday". I was planning on saying I was busy Friday (which I actually was), but since that was out of the picture, I just said "ok". She apologized and I didn't say anything for the rest of the night.

In the morning I thought I did the right thing by leaving her hanging, but then I thought I might look like I got pissed at her for cancelling which I know is a big turn-off, so I texted her saying, "sorry, had a busy night with the show (she knows im in a band that was playing a show). Don't worry about it, things happen"
She said "It's okay".

Alright, work with me here. I've got a couple other girls I'm talking to right now, but I'm really not that into em. I want this one. We've all been there; that one we really want to win over. So do I wait for her to contact me? She's younger, so she might be nervous to text me? Should I wait a few days, play it cool and schedule another date?

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:04 pm 
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Does she know you guys are supposed to be going out on a date or does she think you guys are just catching up on old times?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:08 pm 
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Does she know you guys are supposed to be going out on a date or does she think you guys are just catching up on old times?
I'm sure she knows I'm interested in her.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:13 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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Somethings missing in the story.

Ages?

How many times did you plaster her with messages prior to the flake?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:21 pm 
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Quote:
Somethings missing in the story.

Ages?

How many times did you plaster her with messages prior to the flake?
she's 19/20? I'm 22.

You mean when i was trying to confirm? I responded accordingly
I was picking her up (she has no car)

me: where am i picking you up?
her: my house
me: where's that
her: it's near (landmark)
me: ok, so are you going to give me your address or should i just drive by all the houses and guess which one is yours?

The next text I got was the one I saw when I woke up, asking to reschedule and you know the rest. I thought something was up since she was making it difficult, so that's why I said I was ready to move on, but she was still texting so I thought it was fixable


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:23 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Does she know you guys are supposed to be going out on a date or does she think you guys are just catching up on old times?
I'm sure she knows I'm interested in her.
This isn't answering the question.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:26 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Does she know you guys are supposed to be going out on a date or does she think you guys are just catching up on old times?
I'm sure she knows I'm interested in her.
This isn't answering the question.
I never used the word "date" but I didn't say something like "gee golly, we should catch up some time". I think I said "hang out". I guess I should have said "date"?


Last edited by BK_Charvel on Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:28 pm 
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Quote:
How many times did you plaster her with messages prior to the flake?
she's 19/20? I'm 22.

You mean when i was trying to confirm? I responded accordingly
I was picking her up (she has no car)

me: where am i picking you up?
her: my house
me: where's that
her: it's near (landmark)


hahaha, that's actually funny.

Just lay back and don't do anything for a while. She got cold feet. Obviously she likes you.

You need to chill and just keep this fun. It's not a serious thing. I've been there, in these kinds of situations where you really want a girl, and it infects your tone/communication. Channel that shit and play it cool.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:33 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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Quote:
Quote:
Somethings missing in the story.

Ages?

How many times did you plaster her with messages prior to the flake?
she's 19/20? I'm 22.

You mean when i was trying to confirm? I responded accordingly
I was picking her up (she has no car)

me: where am i picking you up?
her: my house
me: where's that
her: it's near (landmark)
me: ok, so are you going to give me your address or should i just drive by all the houses and guess which one is yours?

The next text I got was the one I saw when I woke up, asking to reschedule and you know the rest. I thought something was up since she was making it difficult, so that's why I said I was ready to move on, but she was still texting so I thought it was fixable
I mean while building comfort and attraction.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:36 pm 
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I mean while building comfort and attraction.
Maybe about 3-4 days of texting. Back and forth hours apart from each other


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:41 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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I never used the word "date" but I didn't say something like "gee golly, we should catch up some time". I think I said "hang out". I guess I should have said "date"?
So how come you're sure she knows you're interested? If you're a guy that just wants to "catch up" or "hang out", then you can be put on the back burner. If she knows that you're interested in her and she's actually interested in you...it's not likely that she would keep pushing back the date if it's true that she is not telling the truth on why she flaked on the original date.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:46 pm 
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Quote:
So how come you're sure she knows you're interested? If you're a guy that just wants to "catch up" or "hang out", then you can be put on the back burner. If she knows that you're interested in her and she's actually interested in you...it's not likely that she would keep pushing back the date if it's true that she is not telling the truth on why she flaked on the original date.
Huh, so you're saying it doesn't matter if she's actually into me because she doesn't know that I'm into her. So if I decide to contact her again, make it clearer that I want more.

She did say she was surprised that I asked her to get together. Surprised in a good way.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:49 pm 
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I think your moving to slow, you are nice-ing her to death, and there is no excitement. Have you escalated sexually at all?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:50 pm 
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Quote:
Huh, so you're saying it doesn't matter if she's actually into me because she doesn't know that I'm into her. So if I decide to contact her again, make it clearer that I want more.
Stop fucking around via text and arrange a meet up next time you hear from her. She likes you.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:58 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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Quote:
I think your moving to slow, you are nice-ing her to death, and there is no excitement. Have you escalated sexually at all?
I think everyone here is trying to point this out to you.

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