Hi,

Been seeing this girl lately, have had sex 3 times now but she's really "different" (for lack of a better word) compared to other girls during sex, im wondering whats going on here

Some cliffs about the girl

- Not very experienced at sex
- Never had sex sober before meeting me (Think more than just alcohol here)
- Has had 6 different sexual partners, all one night stands
- Said that she regretted having sex with most of those partners the day after


So i had sex with her completely sober a couple days ago, keep in mind i wasn't doing anything weird, we just had a good time, went back home, gave her a massage, normal foreplay/kissing etc.

So the things that happened

- When having sex with her one moment she is just moaning normally, and then all of the sudden she says "no... No... No!" followed by normal moaning and after that "no.. no.. *shouts my name* stop! ok stop please* "come lets just lay here for a second and relax"

When i asked her whats going on she said that there's nothing wrong with what im doing she just is really nervous and that its all new to her (having sex sober and with someone she actually likes)

So after that we continue and while having sex she says "omg, stop stop, im having tingles all over my body, on my face on my hands etc. is this normal?" I just responded yeah just relax and enjoy, don't worry everything is fine. she also said she felt like she needs to pee when im fucking her, and we keep going and then after a while she always gets to the point where she wants me to stop and just lay next to her again

Now keep in mind im not forcing her or anything, she wants to have sex too

Now i wanted to get her to sit on top of me but she didn't want that at all, she panicked really bad when i told her to sit on top of me and said "No no please no, i cant i cant i don't know how to do that i don't know how to have sex" and she started crying a bit ..

Im asking her whats wrong and she said "I just don't know how to have sex and i can't" etc.. ..

Anyway to make a long story short i told her everything can be learned and that there's no need to rush things, i wanted to go down on her after this to see if she would be into that but she didn't want to because she thought it was dirty, we just chilled after that


Next day

we meet up again, this time we have sex again but not sober, notice she is a bit more open/relaxed this time, let me go down on her but at one point she told me to stop and i had to come lay next to her again, i asked whats wrong, she said that i was really good at it and that i got just to the point where she was getting completely relaxed but that at that point she wanted to stop, i didn't really get this and she couldn't explain it either

anyway we continue with normal sex, we did doggy style and after a while i had to stop again, she said everything was tinglign again and that it was feeling "too good" so i had to stop ??

Anyway now comes the part that creeps me out the most, this time she did agreed to sit on top of me, i did most of the work, then at one point i put my hands behind my head (As in: Now you can choose the pace, go up and down etc.) and she kind of freaked out "no no pleaase dont put your hands like that" im like ok ok ill just continue, couple minutes later i again put my hands like that and i get the same response and she went off me

It kind of feels to me like she has been sexually abused in the past or something and that some of the things that i do during sex remind her of that? Like her freaking out when i put my hands in that certain position while doing cowgirl or her moaning "no .. no .. no" during sex..


At the end when we were relaxed i asked her if she ever experienced something unplesant sex wise in the past, i brought it up carefully and she said "No thats not it, this is just all new for me, give it time" Its just the way she said it wasn't really 100% believable, but maybe im just looking into things too much

She also never gave someone a BJ before

I don't know its just something that ticks me and i don't know how to deal/handle this at all, any tips /insight from you guys would be VERY appreciated, like how to deal/teach this girl having sex, make her more relaxed. And maybe if the idea i have of her being sexual abused in the past sounds logical to the behaviour

She's 24 im 25 btw.

Thanks in advance ..

what did you do to her

just joking i had one like that :
schizophrenia. she most likely lied about how manys bodies she has had

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

I don't understand why guys get such a "Captain Save a Hoe" complex with girls who are damaged goods like this. I know this isn't the answer you want to hear... But stop wasting your time with this girl. Find a girl who is sexually healthy.

Just keep being intimate with her until she gets more comfortable.

Girls, more often than not, say what they mean.

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

i was with a girl not long ago and she was kinda like that, she was really nervous and kept getting me to stop everytime she was near to cumming.... turns out she would squirt a lot and was really embarrassed by it and was trying to hide that maybe you have a similar girl... its not uncommon for girls to be embarrassed by it

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If I post on your thread I am adding my opinion that I have formulated either from experience or others experiences. It is just that though, an opinion and not a fact.

Slay your dragons and let others tell your tales

Colaguy makes a good point.

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

dont getta save her to savor her

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

especially as she was talking about feeling like she needs to pee... always a sign of squirting

_________________
If I post on your thread I am adding my opinion that I have formulated either from experience or others experiences. It is just that though, an opinion and not a fact.

Slay your dragons and let others tell your tales

she's schizophrenic

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

youre a dumbass.... also stop spamming my pm

_________________
If I post on your thread I am adding my opinion that I have formulated either from experience or others experiences. It is just that though, an opinion and not a fact.

Slay your dragons and let others tell your tales

- Not very experienced at sex
- Never had sex sober before meeting me (Think more than just alcohol here)
- Has had 6 different sexual partners, all one night stands
- Said that she regretted having sex with most of those partners the day after

From what you've shared she sounds like an avoidant personality.

As a therapist I am curious to know if she's had a history of sexual trauma. Being intoxicated during sex, all her sexual experiences being one-night stands, regret...all paint the picture of someone who is has some pretty negatively valanced attitudes surrounding sex (could be body image issues, fear of connecting to others etc).

Though I wouldn't call her promiscuous I definitely see a theme of not really being present during sex itself. Alcohol can be a way to lower inhibitions or to dissociate psychologically from the act itself.


Edit**

Just read the remainder of your post and noticed you'd came to the same conclusion.

Often with trauma people won't readily open up about it for fear of a lack of safety. Lot of sexual abuse survivors, for example, were traumatized by somebody close to them that they'd trusted and learn to be weary of people in general, and understandably so.

If you want to continue with the person understand it'll take a lot of patience and compassion. You can't force her to talk about it, drop it and let her bring it up out of her own volition rather than you trying to coax it out of her in which case she'll feel even less safe.

you sound like one of those females on Skout who catch a titi when someone comments unfavourable to their posts.

i never knew men you exist on there message board of manliness.

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right