I keep seeing on this forum, the suggestion to have an "attractive" lifestyle.
I read the book Models by Mark Manson, I like it, the part where he mentions honesty.

Honestly, the things I like to do aren't "attractive" - whatever that means. All in all, I think "attractive" lifestyles are superficial, hyped-up bullshit.
I mean, if you like things that are considered "attractive", then fine.

The point is, I feel you should do whatever YOU LIKE - whether it is "attractive" or not.
I tried a couple of "attractive" activities, didn't like them. Doing them for the sake of improving my chances with girls, I feel is supplicancy.
Besides, if you keep doing activities you don't like, they will just cause you grief.

I'll be honest. I like sitting around at home. Fooling around on the computer, TV, reading, whatever. I'm like a grandpa. I don't need to do any wakeboarding, motorcycling, etc.
I feel I am too mature for all that. When I was 10, yes I would have jumped at the opportunity. But now, it just doesn't make me feel excited. Don't have any desire for it.
I'm 23 and I feel like I already experienced all there was to experience, and "what the world has to offer" ain't that exciting. I do exercise and go to college. But the rest is sitting around at home.

So is there something wrong with this mentality or what? Will I be turned down by a woman for this?

hahahaha, "too mature" seriously. Anyway, i am not a expert, but it is true, do activities you dont like is sucks. I think you have to try something you like, in my dance classes the majority is old people, so too mature sounds like a random excuse. Maybe cooking, yoga, etc... the message is: do fucking something, dont be lazy. Nobody likes lazy people.

Well, even if you dont have an attractive lifestyle, you can still go out to a club or during the day, and charm a woman into bed. However, if you're a boring person and all you do is stay at home, not many women are going to want to do that. Some do, but not most attractive women want to be with someone that they can fuck and go on the computer.

You're way off the mark on what Manson's saying.

You build an ATTRACTIVE lifestyle for you. If one has glaring holes in his life he'll feel less attractive to himself, and thereby act out of a scarcity frame of mind. Think about it. If you've lost your job, are a little overweight etc.. and it bothers you that will affect the way you feel towards yourself. You won't feel very grounded and able to open yourself easily. As an extension to that your interactions with others will feel more forced, especially when you're speaking to somebody you perceive to be of any value (e.g., an attractive woman).

Now, imagine you've built an attractive lifestyle for yourself. You feel good, you feel grounded and sure of yourself. U'll radiate that to the world around you and opportunities will literally seem to fall into your lap.

In the end it's really how you feel about yourself. Think of the last time you had a great haircut, or a really good workout and how 'expansive' and sexy you'd felt towards yourself after. That's what he's talking about - the carry-over effect having an attractive lifestyle has towards others. It's not about OWNING things, going to lavish dinner parties, or travelling - its the mindset, the way you feel towards yourself that he's specifically referring to.

Lifestyle helps with keeping em around... (if that is your choice)

I take home girls from clubs just by being cheeky only on the same night, they don't even ask me what I do for a living...

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Right and I agree. However I feel fine about everything that I do. Going on the computer? Totally fine by me. Reading alone? Totally fine. It's just the things I love are considered "boring" to many youths today. I can't fit into the modern young society here. Far too degenerate. Stupid half-shave haircuts, bum beards, ugly cars, iphones, sports fanatics, homosexual clothes, stupid baby techno music. (Can it even be called music?). I could fit in had I been born earlier, but right now the trends are so stupid I can't fit in. I see some of these fucking bearded cretins and I don't even want to stand next to them. I don't even want to be reminded of them.

So I feel fine, it's just I sense these young women will get "tired" of me. But that's their fault, following every trend like subhumans.

Your attitudes towards "today's youth" is what's impeding you. You're putting forth that energy and people are turning away form it thereby becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be the change you want to see in the world, or something like that what Ghandi said.

Your lifestyle is not just your hobbies.

It is the way you dress, whether you eat healthy and take care of yourself, what career you have, what work you do and how much effort you put into making money, the place you live, the social networks you have access too and the people that you hang around with most, how often you go out and do pick up...

Your lifestyle is also your habits. If you've developed habits towards success, you will do things today that other people won't so that you can live a life tomorrow that other people can't.

Indeed.

The way you feel about yourself, and TREAT yourself will be directly correlated to the quality of people you attract in your life.

Well grandpa, find yourself a woman that is also a hermit crab and you will be just fine in the long term. You don't need to do much to bang a chick.

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I find this "its society is the problem, not me" thing, always to be a cop out.

Its like the guys who say "Im not boring, other people just dont get my sense of humor/other people are just weird"....No...YOU ARE BORING.

You're describing the other side as totally out of whack with what the majority of the world is. You're being extreme, to not admit that your life is lame. Having attractive hobbies, or just hobbies in general doesnt mean you're wakeboarding every other day, or you have a motorcycle as you say. But if you're not a guy who would jump on the opportunity to try a wakeboard ride just for the fun of it, YOU'RE BORING. Its not the world, its you.

I don't have a half shave haircut, an ugly cars and iphones are not a big part of my life. And its not a big part of life for most modern youths. Thats just you trying to cast a negative shadow on the other side, to not admit you're a lame person. And I dont even mean that with disrespect, but its true.

Look, you can rationalize why you dont have friends. And you can rationalize why you're fine with staying inside. But, I'm sure if I or someone else met you, you'd just be a boring guy who has nothing fun to talk about who would walk away thinking that that because I was having a drink, I'm just a dumb alchoholic, not a guy just having a drink. You'd see my smile on my face and think why do I have this stupid smile? If I said "hey man lets ride that mechanical bull over there" you'd have a ton of reasons for why thats not your thing, instead of just having a good time trying something new.

You can say that others are degenerates, but truth is, you're just living in your comfort zone. And those people are never fun.

Your lifestyle currently is no friends, and you sit around the house. So while the average guy is not a sports fanatic nor has a motorcycle, he's EXPERIENCING life with others. You're sitting at home. Get the fuck out of your comfort zone and stop being a hermit. The way you talk about strangers, as "cretins", who have never done anything negative to you, just shows its your issue. I don't have a stupid beard, but I can chat with a bearded guy and if he's cool make a friend.

Sure, a young woman will get tired of you. So would a young man. Or an older age woman, or man. Because you'd probably have no fun stories in you, besides something you saw on youtube, or what World of Warcraft is like. I've met guys like you, who say that they cant keep a woman because they're different and young girls are like XYZ. And guess what, they're boring as fuck. I tell them straight up, dude you bored me tonight. Dont fool yourself that you can fit in in an older time, lame is lame universally. Guys who prefer to stay inside have never fit into society. Men who see strangers so negatively have never fit in.

Especially coming from an abusive background, its really simple. You're fucked up a bit. And you can either let your parents abuse and your upbringing keep you inside and away from people, or you can get the fuck out of your comfort zone and experience life and people.

I am generally quite weary towards judgmental people as they tend to have a VERY negative inner dialogue, and the judgments of others are just a projection of that, and their energy as a whole is negative and quite repelling.


“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” ― Jiddu Krishnamurti.

When judge another you're hurting yourself, making your own world a lot smaller. "I know all there is to know, what's the point" mentality. You apply a very narrow filter and dumb down the world and everyone in it to maintain the facade that its really everything else but you. It prevents you from taking any personal accountability and therefore you remain in your small world, status quo - nobody else will care, the world skips on and you're left behind.

It's really up to you how you want to live your life. Nobody will deny you of that right to sit at home in the doldrum you call your life. That's your choice and you have nobody else to blame but yourself for creating and maintaining that self-imposed prison.

Thanks for the responses. I would rather depart than stay this way. I just wanted to share exactly what my thoughts were so that I could get accurate feedback. Yes my father was mentally ill. He always criticized seemingly everyone. Always had something hateful and hostile to say. He never let me out of the house, so all I had around me was him and his negativity. Over 15 years I had nothing to listen to but this garbage. Needless to say I adapted into it. Excuse me if I can't immeadiatly change. But I will try.

Anyway..These things you mention neo. It's not that I am afraid of getting out of the comfort zone. I already gone out of it quite a bit, and simply didn't discover anything worthwhile. I have done a lot of "interesting" things. Motorcycles, boats, you name it. Went to different countries. You get the idea. But now that I did them, I just don't see anything interesting in them. Not scared or uncomfortable. Just don't want to I can't put it any other way.

The over-criticism did come from my childhood with him. But the disinterest, appeared in my adult life. I can't nail down the exact causes. I feel tired of it. It's like, when an 18 year old kid goes to college all he wants to do is drink as often as he can get a chance to. But when you get older, you just don't feel like it anymore. For me, I stopped at age 20. Just didn't understand the purpose anymore. It's like that with a lot of other activities I've done. Even those i used to love. Right now, the only interest outside of sitting around is women. It's something that hasn't died out.