This is kind of long.

Long story short, I dropped out of HS & became a recluse until I was 20. I was huge throughout my teen years but dropped a ton of weight (100+lbs).

I am now 22 years old and the past is now affecting the present. I get extremely nervous in social situations. I was at a huge party the other night (like my 4th party ever). I didnt really talk to anyone, I was so disappointed in myself, I left early.

I get nervous around women, I dont know what to say or when to say it. I've scrolled through the game/mystery method/become an alpha male. I've studied this whole PUA thing on and off for like 4 months but I still cant wrap my brain around it. when it comes to real life situations with women I fail. I'm a terrible conversationalist, like the worst you'll ever meet. I'm never one to initiate conversation. You know what, looking back I think a lot of these issues just depends on my mood or the person I'm talking to. I get intimidated by people easily. Somewhat insecure. I sometimes get into this mindset that I'm the fucking man, people should be grateful I'm even looking in their general direction. This usually lasts like an hour and I'm back to feeling shitty and insecure.

Back in august my dad and I were at a gas station. he was inside, I was waiting in the car. There was a girl behind the counter playing guitar. He said something about me playing. Next thing I know theres this hot chick outside my car holding a guitar. We talk for a minute and she gives me her number. I'm like.. wow that was too easy. I lose her number but go back a month later and get it again. I ask her if she wants to do something. Long story short, I do EVERYTHING wrong (this is before reading or knowing anything about women/pua in general)and end up being FZ'd hard. She recently asked me to take naughty pics of her for her new BF. (its funny, she used to call every day to hang out and jam, since she got a BF, she's called probably 4 or 5 times this month). My attraction to her only grew stronger because I couldnt have her and took nude photos of her. I have since been trying to put her out of my life, because it will never be anything more than friends and I cant deal with that stress... Man, I learned a ton about women from her though, lol.

Since I have pretty much no expierience with women, here are a few "was she interested??": scenarios & stories I thought I'd share.

Buddy and I crashed a party a few weeks ago. mixed a drink and i started strumming my guitar. I look around the room, and this girl is staring at me. Look again like 10 minutes later, she's staring at me but quickly looks away. This happens like 4 times. I'm ready to talk to her when the moment is right, but some guy sits down next to her and starts tickling her. I was kind of thinking he was gay, by the way he dressed and talked. Ended up not doing/saying anything. She said "nice playing" and left with him. interested?

Another party, pretty similar to the above. I walk in with my guitar, I do an eye check and this girl is looking at me. I walk outback and grab some beer. i sit down, start playing, look through the glass door and she's staring, but quickly looks away. This happened a few times. I didnt want to approach, because I dont know anyone there. I dont know if she's with one of those other alphas or what. There was like 10 guys around her, too. interested?


Last night I was at the same gas station I met that girl at. She says her computer is slow, and that "if we make small talk, it will probably go faster". I'm like "Sure". I freeze up like I do, she asks how my day was, etc etc. conversation went nowhere. This girl and the the other girl I met at the gas station are really close friends and she has seen me hanging around with her. I'm thinking she may have been interested, the whole pre-selection thing?


What else.. Oh yeah, Guitar chicks sister.. haha. I'm pretty sure she may have a thing for me. but what the fuck do I know? We've eyed, she's winked. I've done the joke/cocky thing around her and all that. I'm not interested in her though. She's a user, her sister has told me.


When I first moved into this apartment complex, I got a knock on my door around 2:30am. Three beautiful babies who I have never seen in my life. They tell me they are having a party a few buildings down and that I could come if I wanted. I show up like a half hour later. The three girls who showed up at my door come up to me and start hugging me, asking me questions.. I'm talking to all these girls, spitting game like I have never done before. It was nice. I dont remember a whole lot about that night, only that I was on top of my game like I had never been. I woke up on their couch with blood all over my leg and a bloody napkin in my pocket. I still have no idea where it came from.


I also have a problem with, i guess acknowledging a womens presence. I've been trying to change this though.

Example; I'll be in line at walmart or something, some hot chick will be behind me or even behind the register. It's like they arent even worth my time. I'll just fuck around with my wallet or phone and pretend she isnt there. I wont check her out unless I know she's not looking. sometimes I feel guilty for checking them out. Yeah, "nice guy" syndrome. Trying to break it.

Another thing I suck at, as I've mentioned above, is actually creating/holding conversation. I almost never initiate, in all social situations. I just listen and comment. I am an AWFUL storyteller. I don't like to participate or talk about "normal" shit men do. I never have. It takes a lot more than wrestling or football to stimulate my mind. I think this is one of the reasons I suck in social situations. I cant relate to most shit men talk about. I'd rather talk about.. uhh.. evolution or the universe. or something like this.

So yeah, there I am. Just had to get this stuff out. Any advice is welcome, thanks.

Chicks cling to me? haha. I hope you're right man. why do you say this? everything else you said in this post is true.

as for the guitar thing, it goes where I go. Last week a buddy and I pretty much just drove around swingers style and looked for parties. I brought the guitar into every one. It's fun. I've got entire parties to sing songs.

Just be more accertive man! You're geting interest and that guitar is a massive DHV if you can get people singing along AS WELL as a fantastic peacock.

Try using the 3 second rule and just saying something like "Hi, how are you?"

Never even thought if it that way, the dhv and peacock thing.

sounds like you are pretty decent on the guitar. Learn any Sublime song if you do not know one already.... sublime always gets a room singing. If you can crash a party you should be fine.....

When you walk into a place adress every person in the room. Give the head nod and say whats up. Just getting out there will help.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

I agree with cranberry sauce...

I myself have experienced being in most of those situation, where I had no idea on what to talk and what not to talk, what should I do... and get like completely lost...

But being myself in the beginning and just talkin normal actually started gettin me comfortable around ladies... and reduce my fear and remove Approach Anxiety... I never expected to pick up... all I used to do in start was just go and talk....

So dont worry bro, just be urself and try to do cold approches when ever u get a chance, as u said u would not wanna chk out a hot girl behind the register or in line when she was lookin at walmart or in anystore... dont worry just say HI to her... and possibly ask her something that she is goin to buy (for example: a item that she has in her cart....or talk to the girl behind register askin her... if the store is always busy like this or just something... not to pick up but just to talk...) and from there... the auto pilot mode will start fixing itself and u will get better...

Remember I m no mPUA or even a PUA... I am a beginner myself... but it tends to get better... hope wat I said helps you bro!!!

Not to be a dick or anything, but they might be staring because you are sitting there playing a guitar while everyone else is mingling. Were you at least talking to people while playing, or would you just go in, sit down, and start playing? I know I'm looking at the negatives here, but if I was at a party and someone came in, sat down and started playing the guitar I'd probably stare too. I don't mean to be offensive, but its like someone who sits on the couch and doesn't say a word to anyone, it makes things akward.

If you are just stitting down and playing - don't. You need to walk around and start talking to people, get to know them by talking to them. Don't be the entertainer, be a guest.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.