3 months ago I approached someone I had known from school. I fucked it up, coming off as boring and needy. I didn't establish attraction. I simply started a boring "how are you doing" type of convo and asked her out right after. She said I was sweet but she was not interested. I didn't understand the pickup scene at all. To me at that point, it seemed like I wasn't kissing her ass well enough. So I sent her an email trying to re-establish myself by describing how pretty she was and how I wanted to talk with her. She replied, in a slightly angered tone, told me to stop annoying her otherwise she would be "willing to take further action".

A couple weeks later I came across PUA books and figured out what I did wrong.

I want to bounce back from this. To start off, I was thinking of writing a facebook message to her. But I am a beginner with this PUA stuff, so let me know what I should edit. And any other suggestions.



To recap, What I did was -
Have her remain calm, as if I come in peace
Cover up my failed approach with a lie about an experiment
Give her a real example of a hot girl falling in love with me to establish social proof and jealousy
Ever so slightly "apologize" for the mistake I made
Get into some funny flirting
Add in a little snide remark about her spelling.

What do you think? Not giving a desparate vibe I hope...

Don't do that. If you came across as needy, no words that you can write or say will make her believe otherwise. She'll have to see you in a different light to make her think differently.

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Dude, she's not fucking interested in you. Drop it. Stop with the "poo-ah" bullshit. I'd say take the hint but she's come straight out and told you she's not interested.

The only way to change her mind is to be more interesting. Not gaming her. Not saying the right thing. Just be a more bad ass dude. And if she sees you later on in life, maybe she'll want you then. Otherwise, I'm sure you'll meet more girls along the way and she won't matter.

Either way... Stop spending your time worrying about one girl and work on yourself.

It's over.

Hit the gym and game other girls.

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If she didn't call the police on you before, she definitely will after reading that creepo message. You can't get a girl re-interested in you if she never had interest in the first place. If she liked you or thought you were cute, it wouldn't have mattered if you sent her some boring texts. Work on yourself bro. Stop breaking down every action you take and being so hard on yourself. Just learn to be yourself and women will be more attracted to you.

This is so important. Guys who don't heed this advice end up as creepy obsessives.

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I'll be candid. If you have to validate yourself with words, you are one needy fucker.

"It was an experiment for college..." - No, it wasn't. Anyone with half a brain can see through that. You fucked up, plain and simple, and this lie will make things worse. Develop an honest, authentic mindset.

"I'm not boring, I was pretending." - No, there is no part of that message that is interesting. The ending was downright creepy. You need to actually become a fun-loving, honest, and interesting guy. Words will not change this. Work on yourself by hitting the gym, reading knowledge-enhancing literature, truly moving up in life by having dreams and setting and accomplishing goals, and learning from every interaction.

"It's not unusual for top tier girls to fall really hard for me..." - Don't do this. A truly rich man (be it financial, social, etc) doesn't need to flaunt his wealth for people to know he's rich. It's intuitively determined from his demeanor and personality. Don't be a conman.

"... that was rude and stupid. I hope I didn't get you in trouble. ..." - She doesn't care.

Jail / handcuff / that ending - Boundaries can be learned, don't worry.

That P.S. regarding grammar - Your grammar was shit; why do you feel the need to establish some kind of superiority? It's not an interview for English education.

I'd argue it would've indeed mattered. Sending boring texts is a testament of a boring personality. Your looks need to be backed by an interesting personality that you need to know how to express. That's what leads to her liking you.

Anyway, I agree with the rest.


Ok, OP, I know you're new at this, but holy shit the text. Text like that will make her so dry, Sahara will be jealous. In fact, she'll probably lose the ability to get wet ever again entirely. For anyone.

I honestly don't know what the hell you have been reading, but God damn I hope you didn't spend money on that shit.

Pick up Models by Mark Manson. That's the only book you'll ever need. Get the audiobook if you can, Mark reads it himself. Adds more depths.

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If you still want to contact a girl that told you that she will take further action against you if you contact her again you did not figure out what you did wrong. Desperate is not a reflection on what you say or do, it's a reflection of your core internal nature when you do whatever or say whatever. I could do things that others would look needy for doing simply because I'm not needy. I have plenty of choice with women and can easily let go of or walk away from the highest of high quality women if necessary.

You become needy by developing the strength to walk away. The girl is clearly not interested. Say yourself the time and trouble and leave her alone. If you can resist the temptation to be weak and contact her again you will also be developing yourself into someone that much more valuable.

Read this: pua-lounge/topic190620.html

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Thanks all. No particular reason why I focused on her. I originally thought that if it were possible to bounce back, why not give it a try. But in reality it would be beating a dead horse.

I had read that usually playfully arrogant humor with sexual innuendo will make women attracted to you. Was the ending not that? Or was it the context that made it creepy?

A woman has to be attracted to how you look and act. Arrogant humor and innuendo works on those women, not ones who threaten you with law enforcement.

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It's not set in stone. This woman in particular told you to leave her alone. The problem with your humor is that it wouldn't be viewed as funny in this context -- rather, you'd instill discomfort (or worse). You have zero rapport with this woman, and she is threatening law enforcement, so what do you think will happen if you get sexual with her? Have some pride man and don't give yourself away so readily. Have standards, both for yourself and the women you date.

Is it safe to assume that she told all her friends to stay away from me?