So I hear tinder is the best place to get laid.

This question is for the forum regulars who already know me.

If we take out the "looks" factor (meaning the girl already finds me physically attractive), can someone like me get laid on tinder?

I foresee so many problems ahead. How am I gonna act on the first date? am I gonna act nervous? am I gonna say some weird shit? is there gonna be awkward silence? are we gonna click? what if we don't click? what if she pretends to go to the bathroom and leaves? how would I kiss her? I have never kissed. how would I french kiss her? what if I get her in the bedroom and dont know what the hell I am doing?

am I just making up problems? should I risk everything and "just do it" or should I forget tinder?

You ask way more questions than you do creating actual experience. You will get more answers by going out there and making something happen and you will be able to come back with valid questions.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

What's even sadder is he registered here 5 years ago, and is asking this...

By the time he learns anything about tinder or game the sun will have exploded and this will not matter anymore

Please make friends.
Seriously.
You're never going to get laid when you're not used to being around people.

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RSDTyler

I'm seriously inclined to suggest getting an escort. Not a street corner hooker, but an escort.
They aren't exactly cheap, but they're very clean and usually very hot.

Hire her for a 3-4 hours. Take her on date. Talk to her. Get to know her. Then take her back to your place/hotel and have sex with her. Be honest too. Tell her you have 0 women skills. Some will actually be delighted to know that you're a virgin and will be thrilled about giving you your first experience.

I'm not kidding man. You need to break out of your shell.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Wait wait wait... Youve been here 5 years almost a thousand posts and you've never kissed a girl? After all that advice you've gotten? A kiss? May be time to leave this forum alone since its not helping you. You're just wasting your time at this point

In your 5 year quest, have you gone outside?

Tear up that picture of Megan Fox you cut out of Maxim Magazine you've been making out with, and go outside.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I agree with R.C.

At this point, get an escort.

Due to the nature of bartm's posts on this board, I doubt he could get an escort to do him. It still takes some degree of seduction skill. I would know.

It's an escort. Only seduction he needs to be doing is smell nice and have money.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Not only has he never kissed a girl, he's never had a female friend. Which is why I keep asking him to get a modest social life first, because you can't go from being someone with no friends to being an UltimatePickUpMaster™

And he's in his mid-to-late 30s if I recall.

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RSDTyler

I do go outside but I end up talking to nobody or having very very short conversations.

I am 31. And this is the first time you have told me to get a modest social life first. I dont recall you ever saying that before. fine, if you want me to get a social life I will.

I may not have, I can't swear I did. If I didn't, others probably suggested it before so I didn't see a reason to repeat what they'd suggested.

Having a few female friends will make dating MUCH easier. Your acquaintances and friends have a much lower threshold for everything being perfectly smooth. You run out of things to talk about and awkwardly leave, it's not a big deal with your friend Sarah. It's basically going to kill any chance of sleeping with your Tinder date.

And though I don't know where you are on comfort, I'm guessing you'd find yourself at least mildly uncomfortable with a woman, alone. You get used to it with friends, and it shouldn't feel like a pressure situation with dates. Basically friends and acquaintances just give you a lot of extra exposure to women, without much in the way of performance requirements. It's like learning to drive in a parking lot, instead of on the freeway(a bar), or possibly on a NASCAR track(if we're talking about street approaching).

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RSDTyler

damn, that's a good analogy.
how can I get some female friends?

Get an escort bart.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.