| Hi there, I am bringing this topic as it is totally new for me but somewhat different from the average Friend Zone stuff - but who knows.
I met a girl in a hostel I currently live in. The moment she went into the room we started to talk, joke, flirt. It was a real flirt rush. To my subjective perception, she liked me from the very beginning very much. In the coming days, I shared her some limited attention, always trying to neg her in a very subtle way - for example when sitting with some guys or girls and HER (let call her Paula) together at the hostel kitchen, as a response to her telling some stories, I talked something very short like "OK" and immediately switched to other people. But it happened...We went together on a trip to visit the city. We had, epic fun. Joking, flirting and so on. The moment we went back to the hostel, I could tell she is preparing herself to hit on me. How: she asked me to bring her some hot milk to her lying in the bed and sit with her in the bed telling her some story before sleeping. We did not sleep that night. There were 12 people sleeping in the hostel but not we. Truth to be told, I was physically dead tired with my job (I was working 12 h a day for 6 days a weed for 1 month before), so I was tired as hell - and the sex could have been better, although I know how to substitute my absent
penis with my tongue or finger...
The morning, I woke up to go at 7.30 to work and while standing on my feets I literally faded away. She jumped down from the bet to rescue me. Her heart was beating like hells bells. I decided this day not to go to work, but to stay in the bed with her, because that was the day she was leaving the hostel and going to another city. Finally, I decided to dress and walk her to the bus. There was a shitload of kino while walking her to the bus. She even gave me some her personal stuff as a souvenir about her and promised to meet with me in 2-3 days when she come back to town - we should have met then. As the day come I could not break out of my work to visit her, so she had to take her flight and went to her country (she lives about 2100 km, 1300 miles away in a different country. )And my mistakes started...She texted me: "do you miss me", my answer "I miss so much about you, your skin, a taste of your lips" and other highly romantic stuff. I have to admit, that was not good. I called her, we were talking for 40 min, still joking, flirting, but in a way that suggested that something really started between us and there is a common agreement that we feel the same.
So I booked the flight to her city and saw her. I do not know but at the very beginning at the airport I could smell that something was not going in the right direction - she started to treat me like a friend. Denying kino. The whole day we were just walking around the city visiting the cool places and so on. In the evening we were lying in bed listening music, having a good time - building a shitload of comfort. Then I took the shower and came back in my pajama. She was already wearing the sexy shirt. We started the kino, sex, love. And in the middle of all this, but before I could take my panties, she stopped me telling me that she cannot do this with me - she does not feel the thing to me. Let us just be friends. I did not freak out. We just talked. I did not try to convince her to anything, only told her that I like her very much and would like very much have the chance to get to know her better. She stayed in my bed.
After 2-3 hours she got out of the bed started to dress herself with her heart beating, crying that she suffers some anxiety problems and she cannot stay at my place, that she has to go back to herself. We called the cab and she left.
Next day I went to her to check out how is she doing after her anxiety attacks (and this anxiety attack are rather a truth and not faked ones as she showed me some her medical documentation about her health difficulty. I came to her, she was OK. She offered me to cook some food, so lied in her bed while she was cooking. After the dinner, we went for a walk to hit the city once again. It was strange, but as if she tried to placate me buying me some stuff - beer, cafe. Maybe because I used one occasion to show her that I am holding back - she asked me for photos of her we took the day before, and I replied that since she told me that she did not like the photos I have deleted them - It was apparent that she did not like it. That day, there were no kino, no touching, just some loose but funny conversation, maybe some flirting.We went back to my apartment, she prepared some food (she paid for the food), we heard the music. After this, we went to a pub for a single beer, but she did not drink (during our "relation" she drunk wine only once - as she does not drink alcohol - maybe she drunk it for me in the hostel the night we were together.). As we were buying the beer, some guy hit on her. I did not notice it, but she kindly of her reminded me of this.
On my way back to my apartment, she asked me if I will come to visit her new house, as she is getting back to her dad to the countryside. And of course, she added that she right now does not want to be in a relationship (she is 18 and has been in 3 relationships before). I asked her directly if she can imagine beeing with me and she told me: NO.
She asked me to be her friend. I was rather withdrawn telling her that we will newer be enemies, so I do not know why she needs once again establish the "FRIEND contract" between us. She froze and asked if that means that I am not going to see here again ever. I told her: come back to my to my city. She instantly replied: "I will".As the cab came, I told her that I want to kiss her as a goodbye, she strictly denied. I told her a chick kiss, and that was OK.
So my thought and brutal truth. During our stay there, she was messaging some persons. I could see that some of them were guys. In her bag she has with here the anti-conception pills - so she is sexually active.The "right now I cannot imagine being with anybody" excuse is so common and cheap excuse - I used it myself so I know that you use it because it is handy.I am connected with her on facebook - but I would kill myself if I start facebook relationship with any girl.I communicated to early interest.
And please do not think that I am shy as it comes to calling girls "little shit" or telling her to "go fuck herself" - already learned that girls like it.
She mentioned twice or even 3 times that she would like to travel with me to China or wherever, but I am quite afraid that there is a bunch of blokes like me who she meets - no discussion.I need to meet more girls.Although I really like her and she scared me with her anxiety attack. I really want the best for her, but not forgetting about myself.
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CHAT
