So, I was performing at a venue tonight and my group did a great job on stage. Yet, when we came off I noticed the girls gravitated to one guy who's a great friend of mine whose really in shape.

I play bass - some people didn't even know I was on stage. I literally get no girls from playing and it's a blow to my confidence. I'm the shortest guy in the group, my voice isn't that loud and horse at times and I'm a bit overweight in the mid-section/legs. I just feel my image and body make people not like me or be drawn to me. It just doesn't seem fair.

I'm always dressing in a unique way, my hygiene is great, I smell good and blah - nothing. Also, I'm a bit silent, have a neutral/kinda awkward vibe - not knowing what to say. Maybe someone here with a great mind can help me get to the bottom of this.

You're a self fulfilling prophecy.

You think that which you perceive as imperfections make people not be interested in you, and consequently act as if they were not interested in you, which leads them to not be interested in you.

Just like treating someone as if they hate you will send all the negative vibes in the world to that person and they will eventually end up disliking you, simply because your predisposition to them was influencing their stand in the first place.

Lose the weight if it bothers you so much. It's really not that hard to hold a diet and work out a few hours a week. Ask for help if you need basics on nutrition/routines.

Also why are you trying to use your talent to "get girls"? Do you think that was the highest purpose of the world's greatest artists?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Sounds like you're sitting around waiting like Simba starring into the wilderness waiting for Mufassa to come home.Get out there and get into the action. This sounds weak.

Now I'm the guy that says that looks don't matter nearly as much as people think. Sure a great body will give one the confidence to stand strong, look people square in the eye and speak from a deeper place of confidence if the person already has their mental stuff worked out. But a dude out of shape can walk up with similar authority and do the exact same thing. Its just a lot easier for the dude with a great body to mentally wrap himself around the idea that people are attracted to him. But in that same light; I know dudes in great shape that struggle to get laid, and dudes out of shape that are doing good out here.

Its all about what you're projecting from your frame bro. So I'd advise you to get in shape, not so you can get girls, but because somewhere in your mind you believe you have to and thats affecting your confidence levels. You're looking at guys with good bodies and you're getting jealous. So you know what they say.. " You can't beat them join them". But a guy with core developed confidence, charisma, and a deep inner belief that he has such high value and can benefit everyone in the room by interacting with them wouldn't necessarily have to get in shape. Heres a video someone sent me in chat: Its a fat dude without a job with a girl thats probably a 8 or 9: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXzPsZHYUbI I have an uncle in a similar situation, except her won't commit to her.

Now, I know you're not expecting the bass player who lays in the background to get the same instant attention after the show as the lead singer? But he can't call them all or bang them all, so theres plenty of available women around that would love to talk to someone from the band if you'd just stop twiddling your thumbs.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

If you want to be a doctor, go to school for over a decade.

If you want attractive, fit girls, get your ass in shape.

You attract what you are. You are what you do.

You''ll hear a lot of platitudes about how looks/fitness don't matter, but that's beta, non-real world advice. Fitness is a severe and tangible advantage.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Instead of wishing to have women flocking to you, just go and mingle with them yourself. Re-frame it in your mind that the other guys in the band are being betas for not actually seeking out women and "approaching" them after the show. Think of it this way: When you take action like this you can actually select who you want to talk to instead of a guy who has to rely on only those girls who decide to come up to them.

You are relying on being in 'the band' as a crutch. So that when you aren't at a venue, the notion possibly won't occur to you to engage women. However if you just let the girl get to know you for the cool guy you are, then it won't matter where you are. Besides, when the nightclubgirl finds out that you're in the band it's merely a bonus for her - don't rely on this status in and of itself.

My advice is to get the hang of engaging women at all places, not just when you're at a show - so you gain a comfort level with doing so.

Talk louder and start eating healthy and hit the gym mother fucker!

This isn't rocket science. Take responsibility. Change what you can. Stop complaining.

Are you the living breathing humanoid version of Eeyore?

Be interesting. Be kind. Be funny. Be accomplished. Be fit and healthy. Be inquisitive.

Stop fixate on your 'self imaged' shortcomings, low self-esteem gets you nowhere.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Yeah. When I hear someone say "I'm a bit overweight", that usually means obese because they've lost the ability to properly gauge healthy weight.

Keep your carbs to under 50 grams a day. Hit the gym every other day. I prefer weights.

Attack the fitness program the way you attack your work ethic with the band. It's all part of a multi-prong plan to fuck the girls you aren't fucking.

Don't use a scale, use a tape measure around your waist. Use it everyday. If it's not around 32 inches, you can predictably find a higher rejection rate.

I don't like fat girls. I like fit, attractive ones. Therefore, I make myself as fit as they are.

Unless you're a celebrity or billionaire, this matters.

Girls especially like big arms, which are less common as men become more feminine. I can see you showing these off when playing bass to havethem come to you.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.