Hey guys, I'm looking forward to making new friends and definitely can see how knowledable and friendly everyone is on here.

Lately, I've been searching for some answers... and I thought sharing what I've been thinking may be helpful. Please bare with as I'm trying my hardest to come out on top in life in every area. Like I'm sure you awesome people are too.

Here's a list of things on my mind:
-I totally lose the urge to be talkative. I just don't have the energy to be an extrovert.
-I find it hard to make friends. It's difficult for me to talk to them, I'm either really logical or trying to help them as a man to man.
-Mentally I feel unstable, uncertain of myself, a lack of power, barely sane in some ways. Just blah.
-I feel uncomfortable in public places (common one I know).
-I have a difficult time communicating how I feel
- I lack inner power and the ability to be assertive
-I don't really know how to speak to girls. I don't approach a lot. I get nervous. I have no girls in my life.
-(Important) The mannerisms, mindsets, and tactics I learn about game I totally forget and just go back to being my regular blah apathetic self. It's like I lose my belief in myself
-(Important) I'm 24, I am told I'm handsome etc. But I don't accept my body and feel attractive and it's hurting me. I feel I don't look as good as I did say when I was 21. As if age is creeping up on me. Social media takes up a lot of my time.
-I don't feel Alpha at times because my brothers can mock me and not take anything I say into consideration or really listen.
-MOST IMPORTANTLY: Making money and feeling like a man. I feel like my life is going no where. I struggle with the reason to live. I don't know what to do in my life. What you do early on sets the path for the rest of your life. I'm unhappy in my current state, I'd like to move to a big city, I don't have any employment but don't get the wrong idea I want to fix all of this and I'm VERY talented. I'd like to start a business in the city. I just lose hope and want to quit. I'm contacting people to open up a dance school and trying to get something going. There's just this depression or feeling inside of me that doesn't care about life.

Guys, I'm being bold enough to open up and express myself the best I can. If you have any sarcastic remarks please keep them to yourself. Look, I'm a human seeking friendship, mentorship from other humans. I'm not complaining, I'm explaining. And look to rise above it all. I know this is a long post but please read it, take your time, please look at every thing I mentioned as I'd REALLY like to hear your answers. I need your help.

Fuck you, OP.

I understand that you're opening up and all that, but you need thicker skin than this, especially if you want to start a business. A competitive edge is not something you attain by being sensitive to whatever forms of that which you perceive as an attack.

Anyway, your life is interconnected. You need to be aware of that. It's hard to create a particular hierarchy, especially considering the subjectivism of it, but happiness doesn't come from women. Or friends. Or career. It comes from the synergy between the 3 put together, not separately, and neither is necessarily more important than the next.

The things you mention on your mind are in my opinion not problems per se, but more accurately consequences. Your lack of confidence and social energy is most likely due to the fact that you're highly unhappy with the direction your life is headed in, and understandably so.

That should be your main focus OP.

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Start taking action. Set small goals for yourself for each aspect of your life and work everyday to achieve these, and as you achieve these little successes it will build your confidence for further progress. Spend less time on social media and more on practical activities.

And don't worry about life ahead. You've got a lot of time (you're just 24). Focus on present.

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Take a few sheets of paper. On one you write daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, and finally goals you want to achieve in a year.

Daily goals could be like: I need to read at least 15 pages of some book, do 100 push ups.
Weekly goals could be: I need to run (insert some mileage here) once a week, meet one new person, establish some sort of relationship, start a diary and summarize your week in it.
Monthly goals: Read one book, attend to at least one party (you must have fun at it, otherwise it doesn't count).
Yearly goals: Reach your optimal body weight, shred all that shit. Having a tough body will increase your self confidence. Write a number the girls you want to lay.


It's important that you have a "check list". A list where you check all the goals you accomplished which will help you on your path to a better man.

Also, don't tell any of your friends you're starting a "new life", new yourself, etc. Keep your mouth shut and just do things. You'll feel a lot better when people who are close to you see the changes on you.

P.s. those are just goals I reckon I wrote in the past, you can add your own. Keep it realistic though, never go overboard. Know your limits.

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Brilliant comment guys. Really great stuff.
R.C. Thanks for your comment I found it really helpful. By sarcastic, I meant people that just say one word phrases and don't care to help.

Guys, to put it simply, this is my life were talking about. I feel consciousness the same way you all do, we connect on that level. I don't want to die a failure with an unfulfilled path alone. And I'm SO determined to take over the world and be a boss I'm meant to be.

Cross, sometimes people can just say take action but not actually exam what to do. Your comment was an action step and I thought it was helpful, but I feel there's more to it. I spent a lot of time coming up with that list, what can I do to totally fix each one. Anyone is welcome to answer that.

Small thing. I'm thinking about moving to Ny/Bk. I'm not too far from there. But I don't have a source of employment. I thought of renting out a studio and making it a dance instructor place that I could live in and work in at the same time. Instead of paying so much to live in apt. What should I do to fulfill my dream of moving and making money in another state - how do I do it? I've never done it before. Please bare with me guys, I'm motivated and smart. I won't let you guys down.

I never had much family and that's ok, I'm going to overcome all of this no matter what.

You should be aware of how difficult it could be and be prepared to face that.

Everyone wants to succeed, but few are willing to go through the process.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I definitely am willing to go through the process. I just don't know the game plan or where to start, but I will do what you guys think is best

I know it'll be hard, idc, I can handle it. I just don't know where to start with my inner and outer game problems. I know you guys are trying to help, but I don't feel in my heart, I have concrete specific direction.

And that's why you have to take the first step in order to find out what to do next. Nothing in life is certain. You have to experiment a bit. Only after you try something, you come to know what you need to do and what not. It's all hit and trial. So just do it anyways and you'll find yourself what to do next. Sitting here thinking about what will happen won't do any good.

Now what's the first step? That's already been answered by the poster above (make daily, weekly, monthly plans/checklist and start doing one by one).

_________________
Don't get confused by my username. I am not Bald.

- Quick Jerking off

- Quit watching porn

- Stop eating junk, friend, and overly processed foods,

-Drink more water

- start exercising. Even if its just reps of push ups, and sit-ups on your bedroom floor every morning

- Get moving. Go for 30 min walks a day. It'll help you sort your shit out and come up with ideas.

- Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. It'll feel retarded at first, but after a couple weeks you'll start making use of the time.

- Pray every morning and every night. It doesn't have to be a God, just get in the habit of verbalizing your wants and desires outloud twice a day.

Give that a three week run and you'll be straight. You have to be committed to your own improvement though. If you don't care about yourself, no one else is going to do. And if you don't want to do shit for yourself, no ones going to do anything for you.

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Pretty cool advice. I'm actually kinda in the same boat as TS.

I used to sarge alot but due to work, i have put too much focus on work and left out the fun parts of me. Hence, social circle started reducing and friends getting married also puts a pressure from where i come from.

Something that i have as a guide that TS can use is to reward yourself. I hit up a bar near my place after work, just for a quick beer and a ciggarette. though i have the beers alone (cause the bar is really small and family orientated,barely any chicks) i have some "Me-time" to think about what i did right and wrong today.

I'm still on the road of picking the pieces myself as the world is a cold and harsh place. but i believe having people to talk to helps alot.

May a small tip is to see how you can bring value to a person, it will make you more chatty and it usually gets the conversation going. Don't think too much!

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"Dude she has a boyfriend"
" Yeah so?...Soccer has a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score."

Your unemployment is what is killing you right now. I was in the exact same boat as you are and potentially even worse.
Had absolutely no life, gamed 24/7 because i was highly addicted, didn't have a job for 2 years and never EVER went outside, cut all contact with my friends and lost my motivation in general to do anything productive.

After 2 years i decided to change my life around and started with baby steps. My first priority was finding a job i felt comfortable with and after 200 or so resumes i managed to land such a spot and it completely turned my life around. Since i had a lot of self esteem issues and the tendency to not be who i truely was i decided to change things around and just not give a single fuck about what people think before entering my training at work. This boosted my self confidence, my productiveness and my socialising with people in general which again boosted my confidence.

The issues you listed is everything i strugged with myself and things just changed once i landed my job, it just comes naturally when you feel good and your problems will dissapear.