Before I get my head together and post about upping my game I need to get this out of the way.

I had been seeing a girl for around a month, just as it felt like we were ready to make some sort of exclusivity agreement, she got with someone else, then binned me off for him.

Now I'm not heart broken and moving on hasn't exactly been difficult although I'm still not totally cool about this. What I am really trying to understand is why a girl would ditch me, a good looking, hard working guy who is popular around town and is considered one of the better athletes for a guy who can't keep a bar job down, doesn't even have a season pass and smokes a lot of weed. I read so much about building an attractive lifestyle and pushing yourself and this sort of goes against everything I have been taught. Or maybe I was doing something wrong during our relationship. I don't think I ever over pursued this girl, she was initiating most of our encounters by the end before abruptly ending things. Or maybe she is just insane... As much s I want to believe that last point I feel there must be something I can learn from this before I move on to the next one.

So any guidance, any suggestions, anyone who has had a similar experience and can shed some light on this then go ahead and give me what you got

Maybe it can teach you that some girls are going to like someone else more. I like steak. Some people like mexican. Doesnt mean steak is better than mexican or vice versa if I choose steak over mexican. Dont tie whether a girl likes someone more to your own value.

This^

Sometimes its just not in the cards and you have no control over that.

whilst I do appreciate that doesn't that kind of go against what a lot of what this community teaches about what women find attractive and us building a successful lifestyle? I feel like this attitude is putting things down to chance. I might be wrong about the other guy, I don't really know a lot about him, maybe he's a poetic genius or something

This community also teaches that women are not exemplars of perfection.
Mediocre people tend to be complacent in said mediocrity. Most people are afraid of success. Most people won't go to that dream job interview because they simply don't think they have what it takes to even stand a chance.

That being said, the fact that she finds you attractive doesn't mean she'll magically get to your level. Maybe you should step up the quality of woman you meet.

There's also the matter of compatibility. Maybe the other guy naturally connected with her better.

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Fuck, that actually makes a lot of sense. She is not an exemplar of perfection at all, whilst she was attractive and a lot of fun she certainly didn't have the same lust for pushing herself that I have for myself. Right on!
I'm going to do a bit of homework and suss out what I am actually looking for then figure out how to really up my game.

Compatibility, yeah maybe but I don't see how could be more compatible than we were. But none of can ever really get to the bottom of the mystery can we?

How old are you? This other dude probably is more interesting and spontaneous, girls like guys who need fixing, not really but in some way they do.

Also, you probably pushed this "nice guy" vibe too much, and then this guy came along, non apologetic prick who can't keep his job more than a month. He's interesting, you just boast about how good you are.

Never consider settling down with a girl if you a) didn't fuck her and b) waited at least 90 days to see all her shortcomings first. Men are the gatekeepers of the relationships, what you provided WAS SECURITY (security leads to boredom), the other dude provided EXCITEMENT, level of UNCERTAINTY and fun.


My guess is, you were just too good to her, that's what probably threw her off wagon, just game other girls

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Anyone that tries to tell you that creating an attractive style and learning game will get you any girl you want is lying. Sometimes things don't work.

Improving yourself and learning to deal properly with women increases your odds, sometimes greatly, but doesn't take out all unforeseen circumstances.

Being two slackers is also a form of compatibility.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You say she was initiating most of your meetings. Maybe she wanted a guy who showed that he liked her more than you did? Sometimes things won't work out because you're too needy,sometimes it's because you're too chill. You'll never know why someone does what they do, and you don't really know the energy guy or their relationship same way no one knows yours.

Like David D. says - "Attraction isn't a choice."

Simply put: women are emotional... men are logical. The other guy made her feel more feelings than you did.

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She likes the way he makes her feel better than the way you make her feel. It's nothing against you. He just gets her juices going better than you do.

Again, it's nothing personal. Some girls like to be emotionally abused more than to be loved and adored. You can't please everyone. Just move on.

Hey man, I am 28, why do you ask that? As far as I know people do see me as a pretty interesting character, I got my views, my passions and my talents and they are a big part of my personality. I don't boast about how good I am in the real world, I just had to say that to get my point across.

I don't understand your point about seeing her shortcomings. Do you mean you should wait 90 days or if you don't see her short comings you shouldn't settle down. I never tried to push her into a relationship, in fact I had to tell her it would never work out as I am moving to another country in two months time so pursue my fucking dreams.

I am a nice guy but I ain't a push over and I certainly ain't weak. I am more than happy to walk away from this and doing so makes me feel stronger.

Yeah...because a man would choose a gf by using logic....he'd choose the less attractive lawyer chick over the hotter girl with no job (sarcasm). That's not a good distinction because who doesnt pick the person they feel more feelings for?
Um....
Um.....
Um.......are you really wondering why she chose him when you're leaving in 2 months...AND you told her it would never work out? The other poster said women are emotional, men logical, but she's the one who made the sensible choice. I dont understand the mystery here...you were aloof with her, leaving in 2 months, and she probably just had more chemistry with the other guy. Maybe next time don't look for something serious if you're leaving the country soon, and if you wanted to be serious with this girl, you probably should have sped things up and shown more interest and tied her down, instead of laid back.

"Im leaving in 2 months and was laid back with a chick...she didnt choose me for a relationship...she might be insane" Do you see how crazy that sounds?

Ya think maybe that was an important bit of info that belonged in the OP?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.