Awkward after rejection



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 Post subject: Awkward after rejection
PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:05 pm 
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Hi guys,

I need your opinion on this:

So, I've met a girl a while ago. we talked a lot about everything, exchanged messages, lots of smiles, looking in each other eyes..
I started using kino trying to escalate and was being successfull, but when for some reason I tried to hold her hand while walking after a picnic..she didnt take it and felt unconfortable.
At that moment I've made a joke and changed her attention to another subject , but in my head I knew I was being rejected there. I understood she likes me but..as a friend, I guess.

I felt stupid so after that I decided to not pay her so much attention and start not spending so much time with her.I'm not being an asshole right now and I continue to be polite, but nowadays when we are together:

I dont make any jokes; sometimes I dont answer her messages because I'm "too busy"; I dont go for picnic and coffee with her anymore; no more kino..so basically I talk to her not being rude of course but I dont care much..

Her "holding hands rejection" and my "behaviour change" was 1 month ago. I was expecting her to miss the time we've spent together and ask me if "everything was ok", "why are you behaving different", "what have I done" or something like that but the fact is that nothing of this happened.

She noticed that I was behaving different but she kept sending messages and using kino for a while (and getting no response from me), but now she stopped and nowadays there are mostly small talk and awkward silences between us..I noticed that she is sad about the situation but she never talks about that.

Can you guys comment this situation please? You should I handle this? I think this is getting awkward but I dont want to bring the subject and talk with her about the situation because that would be stupid and I think I would be "needy" if I do that..


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:32 pm 
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English Muffin
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Stop being so indirect with it. Have you even tried to kiss her?

Tell her you like her more than friends. If that's not cool with her you're moving on with your life.

Physically escalating reveals the truth. From what you have mentioned, a girl that doesn't let you hold her hand, wouldn't allow you to kiss her = she isn't interested in romance with you.

Sounds like she wants your attention though. So make sure tell her the dealio.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:55 pm 
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Bro.,

You're only going to get a girl you want by trying taken the risk and being genuine. Not by tucking your head in your turtle shell because your ego was bruised by you not getting the response you wanted one time. And why was going for the hand hold your first attempt at escalation? No attempt to kiss? I could see how that could potentially get a bit awkward. And then in response you "hid yourself" hoping she played mommmy and came to find you to ask you what was wrong? And because its been a whole month and she didn't play mommy you're coming to us for help?

You're being immature and pretending to be distant. She sees right through it and is still contacting you to keep you around as an orbiter for emotional fuel anyone.

If you don't wanna be the girls friend then drop her completely. If you want to make another full attempt at escalating like trying to kiss her, hang out with her one last time and give it your best. At that point, either settle for friendship or move the hell on completely with your life. Stop this luke warm, one foot in, one foot out shit. No ones going to respect that.

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Last edited by Eddie Fews on Tue Dec 22, 2015 1:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 1:06 am 
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My friends who commented before me are correct, but to add to what they said, you need to understand something:

At any point in which you get rejected, the goal should always be to become effected but to not let it show, sure it's going to sting but accept it and take control of the situation. For example, if what she did made things awkward, you know this internally you feel a little hurt but- you need to blast through with your role as the pursuer. If she pulled back, take a step back, continue the conversation and try again later.

For now, your distant and aloof behavior is probably making her wonder what she did wrong, and she may like you and try to chase you to get you to become reinvested in her, but eventually she will admit to herself that you are not interested and move on. If you still like this girl, schedule another picnic and try some kino escalation again, my best bet is that you will get laid that same exact day.

-Elijah

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 3:39 pm 
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Quote:
Stop being so indirect with it. Have you even tried to kiss her?

Tell her you like her more than friends. If that's not cool with her you're moving on with your life.

Physically escalating reveals the truth. From what you have mentioned, a girl that doesn't let you hold her hand, wouldn't allow you to kiss her = she isn't interested in romance with you.

Sounds like she wants your attention though. So make sure tell her the dealio.

This ^^^


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 3:45 pm 
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Rejection is simply a learning experience, you learn that the girl is not currently interested in what you are offering. That is all it is.

Awkward moments are a manifestation of bullshit in your socially conditioned head having you believe the lies you tell yourself are true.


Let that sink in. 8)

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